Movie Monday: Muriel's Wedding

It was Australia Day yesterday, and so it's only appropriate that I watch one of the greatest Australian films of all time - Muriel's Wedding. If you haven't seen it, SHAME ON YOU. Go and watch it immediately.

Reasons why Muriel's Wedding is awesome:
1. Toni Collette. She is absolutely fantastic from start to finish.
2. ABBA.

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3. The hair, oh my God.
4. Rachel Griffiths. AMAZING.

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5. Watching Charles and Diana's wedding on a loop at work.
6. Brice's awkward attempts at dancing.
7. Matt Day. He's just adorable.
8. The Hibiscus Island talent quest.

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9. Bill Hunter, even though he's an asshat.
10. Jeanie Drynan. She's amazing. Betty is the most completely and utterly heartbreaking character. She's effectively shat upon by every single character, and will inevitably give you All the Feels.
11. Being "rescued" by naked American sailors.

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12. Insane bridesmaids dresses
13. Joanie. She's hilarious.
14. Deirdre's bonkers outfits.
15. This scene:

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16. Finding a husband in the newspaper.
17. Toni Collette's facial expressions.
18. Sophie Lee. Oh my God, Sophie Lee.

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19. Muriel's insane wedding tiara thingie. It looks like it's made of tinsel.
20. The bridesmaids trying to walk down the aisle in time to ABBA. Hilarious.

Plus, the following quotes:
- "You're terrible, Muriel."
- "Can you look at that dry cleaners over there, please?"
- "I have to tell you something... I'm a parking inspector."
- "I've got a job interview next week. An apprentice locksmith."
- "What am I supposed to do? I'm a briiiide, I'm supposed to be euphoric!"
- "I hope the photos help your sister out of that coma!"
- "I'M NOT NOTHING!"
- "Give her a blank cheque for the cosmetics." "A blank cheque? How much for?"
- "Why don't you come have a drink with us?" "You want to have a drink with me?" "Well, yeah. We wouldn't want you to spend the entire holiday alone. It's not like in high school where you should feel you're not good enough to talk to us." "I don't." "If I feel you've changed, I'll tell you. I'm honest. Unlike some people, I tell it like it is." "The truth? I tell the truth too. Nicole's having an affair with Chook. Muriel saw them fucking in the laundry room on your wedding day. Stick your drink up your ass, Tania! I'd rather swallow razor blades than have a drink with you. Oh, by the way... I'm not alone. I'm with Muriel."
- "I had cancer... it's all right, they cut it out." "You were so full of life." "I'm not DEAD, Cheryl."
- "Deirdre Chambers, what a coincidence!"
- "Did Perry interview for the police force yet?" "Yes, but they said he couldn't join because he was too tall."
- "Bikkie?" "Maybe after...later."
- "Mariel, how did you feel when Kieran Perkins took gold for Australia in Barcelona?" "...Who?"
- "I'm married. I'm beautiful!!"

Do yourself a favour and watch it immediately. (You can stream it on Netflix and everything, America!)

K xx

Nerdtasticness

Remember this time last year when I had Must Be Thrifty, her boyfriend Cheap Geek, and our high school bestie L over for Mexipalooza? Almost a year to the day later, the four of us were together again. With an additional 80 or so people, because MUST BE THRIFTY AND CHEAP GEEK GOT MARRIED!!!!!! And it was quite possibly the most geek-tastic event I've ever had the pleasure of attending.

First of all, Cheap Geek and his family entered to The Imperial March from Star Wars. As played by MBT's nephew's bossa nova band. Awesome. Said band also provided much of the music for the evening, which included the theme from Super Mario, a selection of songs from The Lion King, the Doctor Who theme, the Futurama theme, and the cantina theme from Star Wars. In short, the music was made of solid gold win.

Also made of win? The teapot that was used to serve the tea for the semi-traditional Vietnamese tea ceremony:

The table decorations consisted of old boardgames, a variety of teapots filled with flowers, and completely hilarious books - there was a cowboy book on our table called "The Leather Slapper" and the verso listed other books from the same publisher, which included "The Two-Fisted Cowpoke", which had half the table cackling with laughter. One of the other books on our table? A guide to Chinese cookery from the early 1950s. It included this delicious sounding recipe...

Excuse you, that is acceptable as NOTHING EVER.

The food was TO DIE FOR. I honestly thought that the vast quantities of hors d'oeuvres that graced the buffet with their presence over the course of an hour or so were dinner. But no. They were just the entree. And were followed by a main course, cheese plates, dessert, and wedding croquembouche. Complete with Lego MBT and Cheap Geek on top, because OBVIOUSLY.

In keeping with the "normal weddings are boring" theme, the bride and groom had a first lawn bowl (the wedding AND the reception were at a bowls club) instead of a first dance, and instead of tossing the bouquet, we played bouquet bingo, complete with wedding related bingo calls!

It was definitely the most relaxed wedding I've ever been to - the bride was mingling with guests when I arrived - and also one of the most enjoyable. It may not have fitted what a lot of people think a wedding should be, but pff. It was awesome, and it totally fitted Must Be Thrifty and Cheap Geek!!

Congratulations, guys. Hope you're having a spectacular honeymoon.

K xx

Movie Monday: Bridesmaids

Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't cover this months ago. Because it's freaking awesome and I could quite possibly watch it once a week for the rest of my lifetime without getting bored.

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Reasons why Bridesmaids is awesome:
1. Kristen Wiig. She's phenomenal.
2. The flight to Las Vegas.

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3. The friendships. They're amazingly real.
4. Melissa McCarthy
5. The trip to the bridal shop.

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6. Trying to get Rhodes' attention by driving past a hundred times.
7. Maya Rudolph.
8. The awful dresses.

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9. The completely and utterly ridiculous bridal shower.
10. Rose Byrne. She's not usually a comic actress, but she does a pretty spectacular job.
11. Free puppies. I would kill to go to a bridal shower that came with free puppies.

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12. Climbing over Ted's front gate.
13. Sort of attending bootcamp.
14. Chris O'Dowd.

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15. Cupcakes.
16. Rebel Wilson and Matt Lucas.
17. Awkward engagement party speeches.

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18. Don Hamm. He does douchebag so well.
19. Fights with teenage girls.
20. Megan's attempts at getting Annie out of her funk.

Plus, the following quotes:
- "This is so awkward. I really want you to leave, but I don't know how to say it without sounding like a dick."
- "You read my diary?" "At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book."
- "I'm glad he's single. Because I'm going to climb that like a tree."
- "Oh, you live in Milwaukee? Oh, I'm sorry."
- "Help me, I'm poor."
- "This is such a stone-cold pack of weirdos, and I'm so proud."
- "I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial."
- "Why are you smiling, Annie?" "It's the first time I've ever seen you look ugly. And that makes me kinda happy."
- "He was really sweet and nice and cute, so naturally I ran out as fast as I could."
- "I cracked a blanket in half."
- "I think I overcommitted with the whole dog thing..."
- "You have three seconds to get back to your seat." "You can't get anywhere in three seconds, you're setting me up for failure."
- "You're, like, the maid of dishonour."
- "We'd like to invite you to no longer live with us any more."
- "Shit, that is fresh."
- "Look at that fucking cookie!"
- "Why can't you just be happy for me and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?!"
- "I'll fix you a tuna fish sandwich." "Mom, it's eight in the morning..." "You can put syrup on it!"
- "It's a good tub. I slept in there on my 30th birthday."
- "I am NOT paying for this shit."
- "You are more beautiful than Cinderella! You smell like pine needles and you have a face like sunshine."

So. Do you over-relate to this movie too? Or is that just me??

K xx

Boston to Colorado - the "a boob grope and a wedding" edition

My last day in Boston dawned grey and miserable. After breakfast, Paulie and Kat left for the airport and the train station respectively. I had plans to head downtown and finish the Freedom Trail, because my flight to Colorado didn't leave until 5.30. But when I saw how terrible the weather was, I headed straight for the Starbucks attached to the hotel and stayed there. But it wasn't a total waste of time - I wrote this post. 

Thankfully, I was able to catch a shuttle from the hotel so that I didn't get drenched dragging my suitcase the kilometre to the train station. I successfully managed to navigate my way to the airport without any issues, and checked in straight away so that I didn't have to haul my suitcase around with me. Lunch was at some kind of sports bar/burger place. The waiter felt the need to talk to me at great length about his cousin who lives in Wollongong. I tried not to laugh at his pronunciation. Americans: always putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable. 

After I'd finished my 5,000,000th burger since setting foot in America, I got in the queue for security. I got sent through one of the new fangled backscatter x-ray machines. Upon getting out the other side, the TSA lady told me to wait. She listened to her earpiece thing for a second, and then went "I need to pat down your...chest...area." Apparently the combination of my necklace and the underwires in my bra meant that the machine thought I was a Fembot. 

Not me. Also, source

Who doesn't love getting their boobs groped by a total stranger at an airport? OH WAIT. EVERYONE, THAT'S WHO.

Thankfully, the airport in Boston has free internet if you watch an advert or do a survey, so I was able to kill the remaining hour eating a ridiculously large quantity of Ricola cherry cough drops in an attempt to quell my constant coughing, and do internetty things. The flight back to Denver was uneventful. They showed one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen - Midnight in Paris. I don't know how it's been received elsewhere, but the critics here are RAVING about it. All I can think is that these critics were high when they saw the movie. Or paid off by Woody Allen to say nice things about it. Or maybe they were on whatever happy pills they give all the teenage employees at Chick-fil-A. Seriously. Those kids act like they're working at a classy restaurant, rather than a fast food place. Okay, so they sell amazeballs waffle fries, and I kind of wish they'd open here so that I could get some right now, but that's totally besides the point. I swear to God, the kids who work there are on something. They're entirely too happy and content with picking up other people's rubbish... Holy random pointless tangent, y'all. What was I talking about? Oh, right. Midnight in Paris. I hated all the characters, the plot was ridonkulous, and I wanted to punch Owen Wilson in his stupid face. But, you know, it passed the time until we got to Denver, so I shouldn't complain too much...

Lyndsy picked me up from the airport, and we'd just gotten onto the freeway when a moth flew in front of my face. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I HATE butterflies and moths. They freak me out. Like, majorly freak me out. There's a distinct possibility that I may have flailed and screamed and generally done this:

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Yeah. That happened. Kudos to Lyndsy for not driving off the road/into another car and killing us... (And sorry for scaring the crap out of you, Lyndsy!!) Oh, and no, I didn't break into Eye of the Tiger at any point #jokesthatonlysupernaturalfanswillget

The evening was spent sorting out what stuff we needed to take to Colorado Springs with us the next morning. Apparently that included one of Lyndsy's cats:

The next morning, we got up bright and early, piled into the car, and drove down to Colorado Springs. Upon arrival, we headed straight to the mall to meet Megan, the other bridesmaids, the flowergirls and the mothers to get our nails done. By some miracle, I managed to avoid mangling mine before they were dry. SCORE. From there, it was off to lunch at Olive Garden where, being me, I ordered some kind of pasta with five millionty different cheeses on it. It was pretty awesome. From there, it was off to the church for the rehearsal. There was a gorgeous view from the church across to Pikes Peak, which of course I neglected to take photos of... #fail The rehearsal dinner that night was at a German restaurant. The food was pretty awesome, but I was kind of perplexed as to why they had a video promoting Italy playing on the TVs in the background. 

The day of the wedding dawned bright and sunny. Megan and two of the bridesmaids picked me up to go to the hairdresser at about 9.00. We stopped at Starbucks for breakfast on the way. Pumpkin spice latte (or hot chocolate, if you're me): Breakfast of champions... While the two bridesmaids headed off to do their own hair, Megan and I (because I'm incompetent and can't do my own hair to save myself) settled in to let the hairdresser work her magic. It was definitely memorable:

Hairdresser: Do you want me to tease it up a bit at the back to give it some volume?

Me: Sure, I guess.

Hairdresser: Okay!

Me: [a minute later] But only a little. Not like Tracy Turnblad or anything!! 

Not how my hair looked. Also, source.

Me: ...and oh my God, this girl was such a BITCH!

Hairdresser: No fair! With your accent, it even sounds classy when you say 'bitch'...

Megan: *snorts*

From there, it was off to the church to get dressed. Considering I didn't have to walk down the aisle in front of a ton of people like the others did, I spent some time running "Can you go and tell the groom...?" errands and taking photos and eating doughnuts fruit lots and lots of fruit because I'm health concious like that. *looks guilty* Eventually, I frocked up (which included "Hey small child, can you go and get Lyndsy for me?" because I couldn't do my dress up all the way by myself...) and grabbed the programs, and headed out to man my post as door bitch guest book attendant. I did feel quite a lot like I was manning the entrance to a nightclub, because as people signed the guest book, I gave them free drink cards for the reception. Obviously, everyone loved me as a result. Especially the groomsmen when they found out I had a stack of leftover cards.

It was a gorgeous ceremony, although I *did* have a small moment where I thought the deacon was going to break into "Every Sperm is Sacred" from Monty Python's Flying Circus. Thankfully for all concerned, he didn't. 

QUIT BEING SO ADORABLE, ALL OF YOU.

The reception got off to a good start with me going "OH MY GOD, I WANT TO KNOW IF GEELONG ARE IN THE GRAND FINAL ARGH ARGH ARGH!!!" and Lyndsy's husband looking it up on his iPhone for me. Bless him. Somehow, that led to us using a bunch of the spare free drinks cards and watching Youtube videos of footballers getting injured while waiting for the bridal party to arrive. 

The reception was fun - no dancing or cheesy music, and Megan just laughed when she saw me sidestep during the bouquet toss. Plus, who doesn't love cupcakes?! 

Courtesy of Lyndsy, who thought to take photos of the cupcakes while
it was still light outside...

I'm pretty sure *all* weddings should be that laid back. And, ya know, have cider on tap #justsaying ;)

Next up, the final instalment of my trip, which features autumn leaves, elk, hauntings and mozzarella sticks! 

K xx

PS. Congratulations to Megan and David, even though it's like two months after the fact!! <3


UPDATE: Here's me looking all hot and stuff. Thanks to Megan and David for letting me use the pictures!! You're the bestest friends I've ever flown half way around the world to see get married <3

It's official - my brain is on drugs

Seriously, y'all. I don't know what the hell my brain is smoking, but in the past year, it's been throwing out the strangest dreams EVER. There was the one where I had to save a bunch of puppies from being eaten by crocodiles. The one where I was playing baseball against Edward Cullen - in a supermarket. The one where a T-rex was rampaging through Woden eating bogans, and it had an animatronic velociraptor as a pet that was acting like a sheepdog and rounding up the bogans to be eaten. And the one where a friend had lost a hand in an industrial accident and wanted help selecting the most lifelike prosthesis.

But last night? Last night was by far the weirdest. It was my wedding day (which, for those of you who know me in real life, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA), and I was marrying Gene Hunt from Ashes to Ashes. This guy, for those of you who aren't familiar with the show:

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Sex on legs, no? So, yeah, that was weird enough. But then we need to add in the fact that these two were my bridesmaids:

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Yes, Catherine and Pippa Middleton. Sure, I went to primary school with them, but I've had no contact with either of them since 1994. And they were wearing really ugly pistachio (only slightly more olive) coloured dresses. We were running late, and couldn't get a taxi to get us to the venue. So someone from work gave us a lift. On her QUAD BIKE. And I didn't have a garment bag for my dress, so I was freaking out that it was going to get dirty. Speaking of my dress, it looked like this:

Aren't my Paint skills fantastic? I should totally sell my artwork for millions of dollars... Anyway, it was eggplant coloured silk. But the bits on the front were a combination of glittery crap and fake fur (the orange looked like a skinned Muppet). And the bottom bit was a layer of some kind of cheap, shiny navy blue crinkly fabric. Dream Kirsti took one look at it and went "Okay, what the FUCK was Past Kirsti drinking when she bought this thing??"

Anyway, we got to the venue (on the quad bike), and I headed inside to get changed. Only to find that the alterations place had scribbled a bunch of numbers across the neckline of my dress in permanent marker. Like THAT would make the dress worse! And then I remembered that I'd never gotten around to booking a hairdresser or buying fancy underwear, so I was going to have to walk down the aisle with my hair in a ponytail and wearing whatever knickers I'd grabbed from the cupboard that morning. Oh, and I hadn't shaved my legs, and I kept putting my shoes on only to find that I'd somehow put on my sneakers instead of my wedding shoes (which, weirdly given the colour of my dress, were white).

Then the best man came in. Who was the best man, you might ask? THIS DUDE:

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Yep. Niles, the butler from The Nanny. Anyway, Niles came in to tell me that there weren't enough gift baskets for the guests. Apparently I'd decided that we needed to give ACTUAL baskets to all our guests, and they were filled with scones wrapped in tea towels. Quite what I thought our guests would do with these during the ceremony, I have no idea. Then my mum arrived, and proceeded to tell me that after the ceremony, I had to go to school with her and read a couple of books to the grade 1s.

Oh, and my engagement ring was a ruby stuck to a piece of tin foil wrapped around my finger. And throughout the whole thing, I knew I was making a massive mistake, but the Middletons wouldn't let me have my phone to call a taxi or whatever.

And then, THANK GOD, I woke up before I had to go through with marrying a character from a TV show in the ugliest dress in history. If anyone has even the faintest clue what the FUCK my brain is trying to tell me, could you let me know?

Dear Brain,
Please stop smoking crack when I'm not looking. Kthxbai.
Love,
Kirsti

Please tell you guys have whacked out dreams all the time too???

K xx

It's a nice day for a white wedding

And it was - Sunday turned out to not be cloudy with showers as predicted earlier in the week, but sunny and warm. I'm not sure the groomsmen appreciated the "warm" part, considering they had to stand around at the altar for 20 minutes before the ceremony even started, but the rest of us sure did!

Anyway, to start at the beginning, I went out to the venue for a little "here's where you stand when" session on Saturday morning - the rehearsal was Thursday night, and I didn't get to Melbourne until Friday lunchtime. That was all pretty straight forward, although I wasn't particularly thrilled to learn that I was the first one to walk down the aisle - it caused me some degree of stress relating to how fast to walk and exactly how far over I needed to stand... Then Saturday afternoon, we went for mani-pedis. I begged and grovelled for them to please not touch my cuticles, which they seemed very perplexed by. The woman kept stopping in between every step and going "NO cuticles??" with a really confused look on her face.

Here are the nails:

Oh, and I neglected to wear thongs/flip-flips/jandals (I think that covers all possible confused readerships?), which meant I was given a pair of these to go home in so as not to ruin my freshly painted toenails:

The carpet they're on is dark green. That's how bright they are...

Classy, no?

The ceremony wasn't until 4.30 on Sunday afternoon, but I was up and at 'em ("Up and at them" "No! 'Up and atom!'" Aaah, The Simpsons. Always applicable...) by 7.30. We started the day with croissants and fruit before the hair and make up side of things kicked in at 11.00. That finished just in time for me to lace Em into her dress before the photographer arrived at 2.00. Then it was a whole lot of having photos taken in every possible permutation of bridesmaids before the car arrived at 3.15.

Yes, that's a stretched Rolls Royce

Then it was a 45 minute drive out to the Dandenongs (and let me tell you, riding backwards in a limo in the Dandenongs is not especially fun...) to the reception centre. The ceremony was gorgeous (apparently I walked down the aisle rather faster than was necessary, but oh well!) - Matt teared up during his vows, which made all the groomsmen cry, which made all the bridesmaids cry... The only downside was that I was standing on grass and my heels kept sinking, so I was slightly terrified that I'd suddenly pitch over backwards! But thankfully, I escaped unscathed, and the ceremony went off without a hitch (besides the celebrant calling me Kristy.............).

Obligatory photo of me in my dress

After the ceremony, it was a world of photo taking. The photographer made Em and Matt stand still, while the rest of us had to run around them in circles. It was FAR to strenuous an activity to do in 6cm heels. Especially when the running was followed by shots where we had to jump in the air, Toyota advertisement style...

The reception seemed to go very quickly, and I didn't cry or throw up during my speech - definitely a plus I think! The food was really nice, and it finished up with a dessert buffet. Total genius. Mini desserts = getting to try one of everything. And not feeling guilty about trying one of everything!

Mmmm... Lemon tart, chocolate tart and berry ice cream

Then it was all over - I avoided the bouquet toss (sorry Em, I know you're probably disappointed in me!), and didn't put my piece of wedding cake under my pillow (seriously, who came up with that tradition??). So, congratulations to my beautiful, wonderful friends Em and Matt - I love you to death and you deserve every happiness that life has to offer!

K xx

All my bags are packed...

Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. But I have actually STARTED packing, which is better than I usually do! This weekend is probably going to be crazy stressful. But it's also going to be pretty damned exciting. Because Sunday is Em and Matt's wedding! I'm flying to Melbourne at lunchtime tomorrow. Then tomorrow afternoon, I have a Skype date with the lovely Kat. Amongst other things, we're going to try and nail down some plans for our trip to the US in September!!

First thing Saturday morning, I'm heading out to the reception venue with Em so that I at least have some *vague* idea of what'll be happening on Sunday (yes, there's a rehearsal. But it's tonight and I'm still in the 'berra). Then Saturday afternoon is apparently mani-pedi time. I'm slightly scared of that bit because I haaaaaaate having my cuticles pushed back and don't like strange people touching me. But I'm sure it'll be okay (she says, hopefully).

Sunday is the wedding. I have to make a speech. In front of 120 people... o.O Thankfully, it's less than two minutes of speaking in public, and I don't have to speak first or last, so there's *slightly* less for me to stress about!

Monday features a post-wedding lunch, and a Skype date with Sara who's FINALLY arriving home in the UK after two months travelling through Asia *is jealous* And then Tuesday is flying back to Canberra again.

I'm also desperately hoping to fit in a wee spot of shopping. Because SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, I have absolutely nothing in my wardrobe. And when I say that, I mean that my choice of work clothes consists of two pairs of trousers, two pairs of jeans, three shirts, three tops and two summer dresses. And my non-work clothes consist of the above plus five very nerdy t-shirts. And when it comes to shopping, Canberra is like living in a small country town. So I'm very much hoping that while I'm in the big smoke, I can find a couple of things to at least make me stop feeling like I live in Groundhog Day...

Basically? Wish me luck. Because I have a feeling it's going to be a LONG (and awesome) weekend!

K xx

High tea - how very civilised!

This afternoon, I went to my friend KC's not wedding high tea. By 'not wedding', I mean "We're moving to the UK and getting married there, but you're the people who'd be invited if we were getting married here". It was a gorgeous day in Canberra - one of the few we've had so far this year - so spending it in the park playing croquet and boule, drinking Pimms and eating cupcakes was probably the best thing I could have done with it!

The coolest part though? Instead of having a standard guestbook set up, they'd hung up a big piece of stripy blue and white fabric against a wall. And they had a box of props (silly hats and silly Dame Edna-esque glasses). And they had one of these:

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The new Polaroid cameras. So basically, each person (or each couple) who was there stood in front of the stripy screen with one or more props, and had their photo taken. Then you stuck the Polaroid into a scrapbook that they'd bought and wrote a message to go with it. It was really cute, and a different way to do something quite traditional!

Here's the picture of me:

Yes, I should obviously have held the Dame Edna glasses with my right hand, but my entire being protests at doing things right handed!

Who would ever have thought Polaroids would make a comeback?!

K xx

Excitement plus!

So you know how the past couple of weeks I've been all "This week was a suckfest" and "Wah, poor me" and "Pity party, table for one"? Yeah. I'm sick of that shit. Because I realised today I have a whole lot of stuff coming up in the next couple of months that's exciting, and I should just ignore all the crap that's going on at work, and focus on the good stuff instead.

So what's the good stuff? Well, there's:

• The Canberra Multicultural Festival next weekend. I'm pretty much not going to eat for the whole of next week so I can stuff myself with delicious food
• The fact that Grey's Anatomy is FINALLY back in about a minute. Woohoo!!
• The fact that Farmer Wants a Wife starts back next Wednesday. I'm frighteningly excited about it
• The fact that I'm not a teacher. Mum told me a story today about how she and another teacher had to look after the preschoolers during naptime, and one of the kids peed her pants. The other teacher picked up the kid's sleeping bag, and a river of pee poured out of it onto the other teacher's feet. Eeeeeeeeeeeeuw...
• My work buddy I's roller derby debut at the end of the month. GO FEMAELSTROM!!
• Em's hen's weekend.
• Install. Finally, after almost two years of me working on this project (and that's WAY less time than some people have been working on it!), we're starting to install the gallery, which makes the whole thing seem real. Plus, the nerd factor with the registration and conservation staff? Way higher than curatorial. They actually understand my Firefly/Pride and Prejudice and Zombies/Star Wars references!!
• Em and Matt's wedding in March
• The fact that when my niece, Little Miss A, started Prep on Monday morning, the only thing she was concerned about was the fact that she had to wear socks. He he he. Hilarity!
• My little cooking challenge, which is proceeding nicely.
• Being back at the gym four hours a week.

I think that's probably enough to be getting on with. Oh, and did I mention the Multicultural Festival? I did? Well, I'm mentioning it again. It's totally the highlight of living in Canberra, even if it does seem to always fall on the hottest day of the year!!

K xx

Dear 2010, where the hell did you go?

I finished up work for the year this afternoon. It was VERY exciting. But where the smegging hell did 2010 go to?????? I swear to God, we should only be up to about Easter... o.O

Anyway, 2010 - the year of text writing - is over. Christmas promises catch ups with old friends, family, and my puppy, who apparently had a tooth out today and keeps finding that his legs collapse underneath him because the anaesthetic hasn't worn off properly yet... Oh, and one very important catch up - my BFF Kat arrives in Melbourne from Auckland on Friday morning. Shenanigans are planned. Shenanigans involving Thai food and a chocolate tour of Melbourne. It promises to be complete awesomeness. And deliciousness... Mmmmmmmmm, Thai food. And Koko Black. Hells yes...

2011 should be an interesting year - we start installing the objects in the gallery in January, and we're due to open in the middle of the year. In addition to The Year of Opening, 2011 is clearly going to be the Year of Weddings. There's E and M's wedding in March, at which I'm a bridesmaid (as mentioned here). That one's in Melbourne. Then I'm a bridesmaid for Ness in November. That one's in Adelaide. And then there's my bestie Megan, who's getting married in September. THAT one is in America. Colorado, to be specific. And I'm going to do my darndest to get there for it!! Hell, I'm due for an overseas trip. Maybe I'll stop off in Auckland on the way and see Kat for a few days!

So a wonderful Christmas to one and all. I'll apparently be spending Christmas Eve icing gingerbread and making cupcakes - a nice restful break!! :S

K xx

PS. My housemate, D, officially knows me too well. She just presented me with a Prince of Persia calendar. A year of Jake Gyllenhaal?? Hells to the yes........

A cautionary tale

Right. Due to popular demand, here we have what I hope will be the most embarrassing story ever to grace this site. It's more than a slight segue from the usual baking, but considering everyone I've told it to has more or less wet themselves laughing and then told me I need to write a blog post about it, here we have it.

Several weeks ago, I went shopping for wedding dresses with my lovely friend Em. But we started off the trip with bridesmaids' dresses. The first two Em had me try on were quite nice, although we declared that $350 for a bridesmaid's dress seemed more than a little excessive. (Slight tangent - that shop, which was by no means illustrious - had bridesmaids' dresses up to EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS!) They were nothing near the colour that Em has in mind, but as an example, they served their purpose.

The third dress, however, was where things got...interesting. The dress in question was fairly hideous - it was a red satin thing with an empire-ish waistline and a v-neckline. Em had basically decided that a style like that wasn't going to work anyway, and when I put the dress on, it was confirmed. The zipper wouldn't do up all the way, which I assumed just meant that I was slightly too fat for the dress. Turns out, not so much.

When I went to take the dress off, the zipper wouldn't so much as budge. As it wasn't done up all the way, I took the straps off and twisted the dress around so I could see what I was doing. At which point I noticed the zip had actually come off the dress on one side. And as a result, it wouldn't come undone, regardless of how much I tried. So I stuck my top back on and my jeans back on and, with the dress around my waist, headed out of the fitting room in search of assistance.

Em tried to get it undone, unsuccessfully. So we called over one of the staff to ask for help. She was (in my memory, which may be erroneous) about four feet tall, and told me - rather forcefully - that I should just take it off over my head. Weeeeeeeeeeeeell, I'd already tried that myself without success. Obviously... And I pointed this out accordingly.

She declared that it was possible, and dragged me back into the fitting room. There, she made me stand with my arms in the air like a little kid while she yanked at the dress. And when mere yanking failed, she started shoving - punching might not be considered hyperbole - at my boobs in an attempt to get the rather fitted waistband closer towards my head.

She did eventually succeed, but it was the longest five minutes of my life. During which time Em ran to the other end of the store so I wouldn't hear her laughing (I don't blame you Emmy, I probably would have done the same!!), and during which I was paranoid that they'd have to cut me out of the hideous thing and then make me pay for it. It didn't come to either of those, but it was a bit hit and run for a minute there.

So the lesson learnt is this: when trying on rather unattractive red satin bridesmaids' dresses, ALWAYS check that the zip isn't broken. Because you too might find yourself trapped in a fitting room with a tiny Asian woman groping you in an attempt to get you out of the aforementioned dress :S

Here endeth the humiliation...

Crossing her fingers that she never has to repeat that experience,
K xx

The rules for appointing groomsmen

So for those of you who don't know, my wonderful friends Emily and Matthew recently got engaged - congratulations, my lovelies!!! Anyway, Em's asked me to be a bridesmaid. So you can no doubt expect many posts relating to wedding related dress/flower/venue/band hunting over the next nine months or so.

Anyway, at their engagement party on Saturday, Matthew came out with a pearl of wisdom that I feel needs to be shared. He told me that while he hasn't yet asked any of his friends to act as a groomsman, he's developed a theory for appointing said groomsmen. And it is as follows:

- You need one groomsman who's eloquent, and who makes a speech at the reception.
- You need one groomsman who's trustworthy and won't lose the rings.
- And finally, you need one groomsman who's kind of an arsehole, but who can organise one hell of a bachelor party.

Seems fair enough to me! I wonder if the same applies to the appointing of bridesmaids............

K :) xx