Movie Monday - Jupiter Ascending

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat, Movie Monday is back! Okay, fine. It's like a one-off thing so that I can fangirl flail, but whatever.

So a week or so ago, I roped Ness and her boyfriend into seeing Jupiter Ascending with me. I'd seen on Tumblr and heard from friends that it was essentially the worst film of ever, but that it's so bad it comes back around again and it's actually fabulous.

I was massively sceptical, let me tell you. But we got discount tickets, so what the hell, right? And I'm so glad I saw it because it. was. FABULOUS.

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Sure, the storyline is totally over the top ridiculous. I mean, there's space capitalists who own entire planets and treat humans as livestock. Space werewolves with anti-gravity boots that are basically flying rollerblades. Sean Bean as a character with dubious morals. An illegal immigrant cleaner being the reincarnation of the head of a powerful space capitalist family. James D'Arcy turning up, because apparently it's now the law for him to be in literally everything that I like. Eddie Redmayne wearing what Tumblr describes as "a tits out dressing gown with arm wings" whispering his lines in a Godfather-esque fashion while wandering around a space cathedral in the heart of Jupiter (the planet, not the character). Half of Chicago getting destroyed and no one remembering a thing. Bees. CHANNING TATUM WITH BADLY BLEACHED BLONDE HAIR AND A TERRIBLE GOATEE.

BEES. Also, source.

It sounds, as I'm sure you'd agree based on the previous paragraph, like a total and utter trainwreck. Hell, in a lot of ways it feels like fan fiction written by a 14 year old girl with $175 million dollars thrown at it. Which SHOULD be an unmitigated disaster.

And yet, it's massively entertaining. The script is full of intentionally ridiculous moments that are totally hilarious ("I love dogs", for example). The cinematography is stunning. The costumes are utterly glorious. Jupiter (the character, not the planet) goes from "I hate my life" to "holy shit snacks, what the hell is happening?" to "excuse me while I bandage your bleeding chest with a feminine hygiene product" to "I'm a badass self rescuing space princess who's maybe kinda sorta in love with a dude with wolf DNA".

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There's a ton of gender role reversal, including on the poster. Jupiter is front and centre, staring straight into the camera. Caine's gaze is on Jupiter, in an approximation of the traditional tits and ass pose that so many women are forced into on sci-fi and action posters. In the film, Jupiter's the one who makes the romantic advances. Caine's the one seen in a sexualised light. She's the one who overpowers the villain. She's the one who saves the world. She wears her hair in a ponytail most of the time because it's hard to kick ass and save the world when your hair's in your face. And it is magical.

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In short? It was everything I wanted from a movie. And you should go and see it immediately.

Have you seen it? What did you think?

K xx

Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts

Previously: Sara and I went to Stonehenge and Bath, and had an incredibly nutritious lunch of scones and chips. 

Warning: this post is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally photo-heavy. But it's worth it. Trust me.

The day after we went to Bath somehow turned into a nothing day. We both woke up late, and decided that we should finish watching North and South before we did anything else. Eventually, we figured that we should do SOMETHING besides sit on the sofa all day, so we drove into town and had a late lunch before wandering around the shops for a while. I'd been planning on getting a new between-seasons coat while I was in England, so technically we were on the look out for that. Me being me, I came home with a pair of raspberry patent heels. FAR more important than a stupid coat!

I mean, seriously. 

We headed home via the supermarket to procure pizza and cider, and had dinner in front of Doctor Who before spending the night watching Prisoner of Azkaban. It was low key and relaxing and fabulous to not be running around all over the place for a change.

The next morning, we were up bright and early and on the road before 10am. Frankly, I'd been excited about our final destination for this particular day since about JULY, and it didn't disappoint. We started off with a trip to Windsor, because if we were going to spend all that damned time on the M25, you can bet your arse we were going to break up the trip.

Parking was a monumental bitch, as you can imagine if you've ever been to Windsor, but finally we found a parking spot and headed into the castle. After parting with a small fortune, we headed inside. And honestly? The public areas were a lot smaller than I remembered them being when I was a kid. It didn't help that the chapel was closed because it was Sunday, but I remember there being far more to see and do than just the state rooms and Queen Mary's doll house. *shrugs*

I'd also forgotten about the almost-constant low flying planes en route to land at Heathrow, which must be nice and relaxing for the queen!!

Once we'd exhausted the possibilities at the castle and decided that we didn't need a stuffed toy corgi from the gift shop, we wandered back into town for a spot of lunch before stopping at a supermarket to procure some snacks. Then we hit the road and basically flailed our way up the M25 to our final destination: The Harry Potter studio tour.

It.

Was.

AMAZING.

I mean, I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven when I went to Wizarding World of Harry Potter. And sure, this didn't have awesome rides. But it WAS non-stop amazingness from basically the moment we walked in the door. The very first thing you see (besides giant photos of the cast, and half a Ford Anglia coming out of the wall) is the Cupboard Under the Stairs.

From there, they show you a short film, and then you head into the Great Hall. If you're planning on going, I'd highly recommend going on your birthday, because of reasons.

I could happily have stayed in the Great Hall for another 20 minutes or so because it's so amazingly detailed, but there was tons more to see.

The first half of the tour is smaller sets, like the Gryffindor Common Room and Dumbledore's office, lots of costumes, and a ton of fun props, like the Horcruxes, Hermione's Timeturner, quidditch supplies, and the Triwizard Cup.

DanRad is tiny. Seriously. 

It took us at least an hour to get through it all, and it was marvellous. It's astonishing how much detail was created for props that get a couple of seconds of screen time.

Then you head outside to some of the exterior sets - Number 4 Privet Drive, the bridge at Hogwarts, and the Potter's cottage from Godric's Hollow. There's also the Knight Bus, which is pretty fabulous, and some more of the big chess pieces.

You can also get butter beer, which is pretty delicious in small quantities but is quite likely to make you feel sick if you drink more than a few sips.

The second half of the tour is all about the animatronics and the models that they used, and it's pretty damned fascinating.

From there, you get to walk up Diagon Alley, which felt oddly like returning to Wizarding World of Harry Potter (even though when I was there, it was only Hogsmeade...):

And then it was onto the last major stop, which was my absolute favourite - the scale model of Hogwarts that they used for all the exterior shots. It's absolutely ENORMOUS.

See those people over there on the right? Yeah. ENORMOUS. 

I could happily have stood there staring at it all day, because it's utterly astonishing. The lighting slowly changes from day to night, and all the lights in the castle come on.

How could we not take a terrible selfie?! 

Eventually, we dragged ourselves away from the magnificence that is Hogwarts and headed towards the gift shop. The last room you pass through is filled with wand boxes. There are over two thousand of them, and they bear the names of all the cast and crew, which is pretty fabulous.

Hell, even the gift shop was magical. I spent rather more than I'd planned, but came out with a Ravenclaw t-shirt for myself, and a wand for Little Miss A (Totally worth it).

Eventually, our wallets rather lighter than planned, we headed back to the car and drove back to Portsmouth. We wandered down the road to the pub for dinner, and spent the rest of the night watching Goblet of Fire. Because really, what else would we do after such a Potter-tastic day?!

Next time, we acquire a couple of small children and head to the zoo. 

K xx

TTT - Characters I Would Want to be for Halloween

It's time to link up with the Broke and the Bookish again!

As I've said time and time again, Australia doesn't really do Halloween. It doesn't get dark until 8pm and everything's green, so it's hard to pretend things are spooky and mysterious and harvest-time-y. Plus, we're really lazy when it comes to costumes of any sort. Essentially, if it requires going out to buy anything in order to make said costume possible? We're on the Nope Train. 

That said, there are some seriously badass characters that I'd dress up as for Halloween. You know, if it took, like, no effort at all... 

1. Hermione Granger (Harry Potter series - J.K. Rowling)

I wouldn't even have to try on the hair front. I could just wash my hair, let it dry by itself, and have Hermione hair without any effort! Plus, she's an absolutely phenomenal character and I adore her. 

2. Natasha Romanova/Romanoff (Marvel Comics - Stan Lee et al)

She's a comic book character, so it totally counts as a valid choice. Although to be honest, I'd probably dress up as on-the-run-from-Hydra Natasha in Captain America: The Winter Soldier because it requires less effort. Like I said, lazy. 

3. Celaena Sardothian (Throne of Glass series - Sarah J. Maas)

I don't think you can get much more badass than a mysterious teenage assassin who also happens to be a long lost self-rescuing princess. 

4. Kate Daniels (Kate Daniels series - Ilona Andrews)

The only way you can get more badass than a mysterious teenage assassin is by looking to Kate Daniels, who kicks butt and takes names and has an attack poodle and FIGHTS WITH A SABRE THAT EATS UNDEAD FLESH. Awesomeness. 

5. Fair Finley (Wilfair series - Alysia Gray Painter)

Fair's not a badass in the same way the other characters are, but she does a lot of discovering-who-she-is stuff over the course of the series and comes out the other side stronger and more confident. And I could use that right about now. 

6. Alexia Tarabotti (Parasol Protectorate series - Gail Carriger)

Alexia is a totally no-nonsense character and I love everything about her. And if it weren't for all the effort it required, a steampunk costume would be totally amazing. 

7. Lirael (Abhorsen trilogy - Garth Nix)

What can I say, she's a librarian. And an Abhorsen. That's a pretty fabulous combination. 

8. Granny Weatherwax (Discworld series - Terry Pratchett)

I hope to be Granny Weatherwax when I'm old, and spend my time teaching everyone that old ladies should not be taken at face value. Dressing as her for Halloween would just be a head start on that process.

9. Cather Avery (Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell)

Admittedly, my fangirly t-shirts wouldn't be Simon Snow themed, but I relate to Cath a lot, and so it seems appropriate (and lazy because it wouldn't take much effort. SCORE!) to dress as her for Halloween. 

10. Admiral Jane Roland (Temeraire series - Naomi Novak)

She's kind of a minor character, and is practically non-existent in the second half of the series but how could you not want to dress up as a woman who commands a heavy-weight dragon in the Napoleonic Wars? Sure, no one would know who I was, but I'd get to wear a hella awesome coat, so who really cares?! 

Which characters would you dress as for Halloween? 

K xx

Marvel vs. DC - the Lego edition

I make absolutely no secret of the fact that when it comes to superheroes, I am one thousand percent a Marvel fangirl. I've never found Batman or Superman even remotely interesting in any format and, as discussed previously, I've mostly found the recent crop of DC movies to be far too serious and as a result, a little bit shit.

Last year, my brother C got me an XBox for my 30th birthday. And one of the games that he got me was Lego Batman 2: DC Superheroes. I played it, and it was fun and all. But there always seemed to be something missing for me. It wasn't until Lego Marvel Superheroes came out that I was able to put my finger on exactly what it was. Obviously, I vlogged about it.



And I'd like to once again thank Youtube for offering me a selection of delightful screencaps - two in which I had my eyes closed and one in which I looked like I was about to sneeze... Some day, decent screencap, you will be mine. SOME DAY...

Have you played these games? Would you agree?

K xx

The Great J.K. Rowling Debacle

As you're probably already aware, over the weekend a new interview with J.K. Rowling hit the media. And as you're probably already aware, this interview included some rather...opinion dividing news...about how things ended up in Harry Potter.

Yes, they're fictional characters and we shouldn't be getting so worked up about them. But at the same time, these are the characters that shaped our childhoods, our teen years, our twenties. Characters that we grew up with. Characters that we love and relate to. So we can't help but take it personally when the creator of these characters announces - seven years after the fact - that she thinks she made a mistake with one of the major relationships.

Obviously, the fandom immediately erupted. With joy from those who sail with the good ship Pumpkin Pie, and with anger/disappointment/WTF DID YOU DO, ROWLING feels from those on Team Romione.

I've been thinking about it a lot following my initial outrage, and I think I've managed to finally sum up my feelings about why I find this so enormously disappointing.

1. It implies that the only two people Hermione could ever be with are two guys she hung out with in high school.
Yes, the Golden Trio went through a lot together, so it's understandable that they'd be friends forever. What DOESN'T automatically follow is that Hermione - the one who goes back to Hogwarts to finish her education, the one who ends up with a career that needs further education, the one who dated a world class quidditch player - will never find anyone more suited to her than her two best friends from high school. Furthermore, why does she have to end up with ANYONE?! She saved their arses a million times, and influenced millions of girls all over the world. Why did her entire story have to be turned into this?

2. It doesn't just damage the contents of the epilogue. It damages the entire series. 
The epilogue was, let's be honest, pretty bad. Rowling started to drop hints about the future relationship between Ron and Hermione at the same time that she started to drop hints about the future relationship between Harry and Ginny - in Chamber of Secrets. So by saying that Hermione should end up with Harry after we sat through FIVE BOOKS building up completely different relationships? Not. Okay.

3. Ron's "not smart enough" for Hermione.
For all that he's the Chosen One, Harry's not much smarter than Ron. By saying that Ron's not smart enough, Rowling is effectively forgetting everything she wrote about the character. Sure, Ron's not the most academic of characters. Not don't forget that he destroyed a Horcrux. He was Gryffindor's keeper for two years. He became an Auror. HE BEAT MINERVA MCGONAGALL'S CHESS SET WHEN HE WAS TWELVE. Intelligence isn't limited to exam results, Rowling.

4. It once again makes Ron the forgotten Weasley.
Ron's at the bottom of the pile as far as Weasley children go. Bill and Charlie are the cool, popular successful ones. Percy's a pretentious arsehole, but he's still brainy as hell. Fred and George are the jokers, the ones who are always getting into trouble but who everyone loves just the same. Ginny's the long awaited girl. And Ron's the Other One. The sidekick. The one who, in the movies, is reduced to a punchline. By saying that she wishes that once again the hero had gotten the girl, Ron's back at the bottom as nothing more than an afterthought.

5. It turns the entire series into a love triangle. 
Okay, so the actual books don't really feature typical love triangle content. But knowing the the author has gone from being on board with the canon she created to shipping? You can't avoid the feeling that the two best friends are locked in a battle over a girl. You inevitably read into every conversation, every touch between Harry and Hermione. Joanne, dude. Go write pseudonymous fan fiction to deal with your feels and leave canon alone.

6. What does this mean for Ginny? And for Ron?
It's one thing to say that you wish Harry and Hermione had ended up together. But by saying that, you leave fans wondering about the others. Does Ron spend the rest of his life in a tragic bachelor apartment? Does Ginny - the famous quidditch player - end up married or does she have a string of boyfriends and never settle down? Providing a single line statement like that does more damage than good.

7. It impacts future enjoyment of the series.
Sure, you can ignore the interview all you want. It's true - the interview doesn't change what happens in the books. But you're still going to have that niggling doubt in the back of your mind whenever you read or watch the series that the creator wishes she could retcon the entire thing. It damages our entire history with the series to know that she regrets what she wrote.

8. Of all the things she could possibly regret, it's THAT?!
Not making Neville and Luna canon. Killing Fred. Killing Tonks AND Lupin. Snape being an enormous bully. Not giving us more Marauder's Era stories. ALBUS SEVERUS. These are things that should be regretted. Romione is nothing compared to these things.

9. Leave us alone, Mel Brooks! 
Sure, Joanne, regret your decisions all you want. That's your prerogative, it really is. You created the characters, you can absolutely regret the way things panned out. Just stop telling people about them. Because that rips the fun out of things for everyone. Even the Pumpkin Pie shippers, because now they're all going to be disappointed that you DIDN'T write the story you wish you had every time they read it.

Do you agree? Disagree? Or are you just jumping with joy because the good ship Pumpkin Pie sails again??

K xx

Best of 2013: Book edition

It's been a few weeks since I joined in for Top Ten Tuesday, but I still can't think of Tuesday as anything but "the day I really should be blogging about books". Tuesday may be nearly over in Australia, but whatever. Let's talk about my favourite books from this year!

Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein
Oh my God, this book made me ugly cry so hard. It was suspenseful and funny and moving, and you should all go and read it immediately. And then talk to me about it. Because it's better once you share all the feels.

The Chaos Walking trilogy by Patrick Ness
I've adored everything I've read by Patrick Ness, and this trilogy was no exception. It was completely intriguing, with fabulous characters and a brilliantly crafted setting. I was on the edge of my seat for the duration of these books.

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
Cue further ugly crying. Eleanor and Park are just two ordinary kids living in Nebraska in the 80s. Their story shouldn't be exceptional. BUT IT IS. If you haven't read it, you really should. Because it was completely and utterly beautiful.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
I know a couple of people who've had serious issues with this book, but I thought it was magnificent. It took me quite a while to get into it, but once I did, I loved it. The power of the narrator was fabulous, and the ending made me ugly cry like an idiot.

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
ADORABLE FROM START TO FINISH. It's pretty much Tumblr in book form. I related to Cath a liiiiiittle too much at times, but I think that her roommate, Reagan, was my favourite character. If you've ever had any interest in fandom, you should read this.

The Wilfair series by Alysia Gray Painter
I've mentioned these books a lot in recent months, but with good reason. They're so adorably squee-tastic that I can't help but recommend them non-stop. I enjoyed Wilfair, but Redwoodian and its massive levels of swoon were where things took off for me. Plus, Stay Awhile features the magical sentence "Love triangles are a tired cinematic device that add predictable drama where there is none." ACCURATE.

Newt's Emerald by Garth Nix
I read this over the weekend and absolutely loved it. If you mixed Jane Austen with a dash of modernised language, a touch of magic, a wee bit of swoon, hilarious antics, and some totally understandable cross dressing, you would get this book. It was fun and exciting and basically just a completely enjoyable read from start to finish.

So. What have your favourite books been this year?

K xx

Ranty McRanterson

Being a fan of things is great. But sometimes, dealing with other fans? Is really not. In the past year, I've ended up dealing with a lot of fans of two shows in particular. And as a result, my feelings towards those shows have changed quite dramatically. I vlogged about it, because it seemed easier...



Has fandom ever ruined something for you? Were you able to love it again down the track??

K xx

Top Ten Tuesday: Top Ten Unusual Character Names

Time to link up with the Broke and the Bookish again!

Today's topic was to do with character names - either our favourites or the most unusual ones we've come across. I've gone with unusual ones, because my full name is pretty damned unusual so it's nice finding those who would also suffer from "Sorry, what? Could you spell that for me?"syndrome if they were real. Oh, and I'm discounting the entire Harry Potter series, because I could make a top ten list just from that!

Rincewind from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. Goodness, Pratchett comes up with some fabulous character names. But given that Rincewind is one of the characters that started off the Discworld series, it seems fitting to go with him.

Katniss Everdeen from Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games series. Oh, Katniss. You poor baby. No one should have to live with a name that rhymes with "piss"...

Cather and Wren from Rainbow Rowell's Fangirl. As much as their mother was an awful character who I couldn't stand, I kind of loved the idea of her being all "Twins? Oh well, split the name I'd picked in two!"

The Montgomery Overbores from Alysia Gray Painter's Wilfair series. Oh, goodness, I love these characters and their fabulous names. Even if it DID take me approximately half of the first book to work out that Gomery was short for Montgomery. Well done, Kirsti. Well done...

Karou from Laini Taylor's Daughter of Smoke and Bone series. Her name is unusual AND full of meaning. Awesome.

Temeraire from Naomi Novik's Temeraire series. Okay, so he's a dragon which means that weird names are kind of par for the course. But he's a major character, and it's not even a name that can be shortened effectively!

Sophronia Temmennick from Gail Carriger's Finishing School series. Gail Carriger loves her bonkers character names, and this one is pretty damned spectacular.

Cricket Bell from Stephanie Perkins' Lola and the Boy Next Door. Cricket has a pretty stupid name, especially when you come from the part of the world where it's a sport rather than an insect, but he's completely adorable so I forgive him for it.

Jericho Jones from Libba Bray's The Diviners. It's a pretty great name, you have to admit.

Margo Roth Spiegelman from John Green's Paper Towns. Look, Margo's kind of an insane character, but her name is pretty fabulous and I love it that she's consistently referred to by her full name.

So. What are your favourite unusual character names?

K xx

Bloggy friends are the bestest friends

Whoops. It appears that I've been slacking off on blogging about my trip to the US. You know, the one I went on in JANUARY... #fail

Previously, HOGWARTS.

The day after the great Hogwarts expedition of 2013, Lor and I headed out to meet Emmy at a Starbucks somewhere near downtown Orlando. The three of us had absolutely no idea what to do that day - we spent some time abusing the free wifi at Starbucks looking up non-theme park related things to do in Orlando, but didn't come to any decisions. In the end, our lack of decisiveness was getting ridiculous, and time was rapidly ticking past. There was only one solution - send a text message to Gina:

Me: Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinaaaaaaaa. We don't know what to do today...
Gina: *immediately sends four responses each filled with well thought out suggestions even though it's barely 7am*

ACTUAL BEST.

Anyway, we ended up going to Downtown Disney. We wandered around some of the Disney themed shops, then bought some fudge because OBVIOUSLY. Somewhere along the way, we stumbled across a shop that sold nothing but dinosaur related stuff. It's possible that I Kermit flailed when I discovered that they had plastic velociraptors. And so it came to pass that Clever Girl joined our intrepid trio:

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

We wandered through the Lego shop:

And then an enormous Disney Store, which included all kinds of complete insanity. We took advantage of the free wifi to tweet/Facebook a bunch of pictures:

Pregnant looking Ariel

Ho suspension Tink

Apparently in his spare time, Voldemort dresses up as Cinderella

After a while, we decided we were hungry, and that we should eat at the Rainforest Cafe because of reasons that now escape me. We ended up sitting at the bar on ridiculously high stools that had animal tails, which was kind of weird. On the plus side, RASPBERRY DAIQUIRI:

Yup. Lunch at the Rainforest Cafe requires booze.

After lunch, we wandered around some more, and then stumbled across a movie theatre. By a happy coincidence, a screening of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters was about to start. I'm pretty sure my realisation of that went something like this:

Me: OHMIGOD JEREMY RENNER CAN WE PLEASE GO AND SEE JEREMY RENNER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE??????
Emmy: I guess so?
Lor: Eh. Why not?
Me: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY OHMIGOD I HAVE TO EMAIL KIM SHE'LL BE SO JEALOUS.

Yup. That pretty much happened.

I can't speak for the others, but I thought the movie was awesome. And not just because of Jeremy Renner. Sooner or later, I'll rewatch it and probably do a Movie Monday post on it. Because of reasons.

After the movie, we still had an hour or two to spare before we had to be at Alice's for dinner, so we headed back to the hotel, watched the previous day's installment of the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, and then sat watching Maury for an hour because that's what happens when you ask me to find something to watch on American television.

We ended up leaving a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle later than we'd planned because.......well, we needed to know, dammit!

Yeah. That.

And of course then when we finally did get on the road and heading Alice's, there turned out to be a massive car accident on the freeway and instead of taking us like 20 minutes to get there, it took us the better part of an hour. Poor Alice, meanwhile, was slaving over a hot stove making us an incredible dinner as we texted her from the car, promising that we WERE in fact on our way.

Eventually, we got there and had an amazing evening of good food, good company, a little cider, and so much giggling that Alice's neighbours probably thought we were bonkers. I also turned up with a bag of dirty laundry - literally - and was all "OH HAI, BLOGGY FRIEND. Thanks for cooking me dinner! Can I use your washing machine?" Yup. That happened. 

Several hours later, our stomachs hurt from laughing and it was getting stupidly late, so Lor and I headed back to the hotel with a couple of "Whoops, we ignored the GPS and are now going totally the wrong way" detours because we were too busy giggling about everything that had happened that day.

Next up, Disneyworld and everything that happened. 

K xx