Ancient History, Volume IX

When I last left off, it had taken Megan and I SEVEN HOURS to make the drive from Nashville to Memphis. Upon arrival in Memphis, we decided to make the most of what was left of the afternoon, and headed to the National Civil Rights Museum. According to my travel diary, 23 year old Kirsti was greatly upset by the fact that she couldn't take photos inside, and thought there should have been less reading involved. It also made her want to watch Elizabethtown. 28 year old Kirsti recognises the fact that objects can be sensitive to light, and that it's difficult to convey certain concepts through an object on a plinth, thus requiring additional explanation through text. It still makes her want to watch Elizabethtown.

Anyway, the National Civil Rights Museum is an amazingly moving place, and you should all go there.

After the museum, we decided that we'd drive over to Graceland and find a hotel nearby so that we could get there as soon as it opened and still be able to sleep in. We managed to turn the wrong way half a dozen times, because I'm awesome at reading maps. But we eventually got there and found a hotel right across the road from Graceland. The pool was shaped like a guitar and there were two channels on the TV that showed nothing but Elvis movies. Sadly, I neglected to take pictures of either of these things, because I'm an idiot and have no idea what will make hilarious blog fodder six years down the track.

The next morning, we were up bright and early to visit Graceland. Because we were epic cheapskates poor starving students/unemployed bums, we elected to only see the house, because all the other stuff was hella expensive. Eventually, our tour started. I'm going to quote directly from my travel diary, because LOL: "It was fun, if horrifically tacky. I mean, Elvis could sing and all but my God, the man had no taste! Although I guess in the 70s no one had any taste..." You have to admit, 23 year old Kirsti kind of has a valid point.

To prove my point:

So he could watch all the stations at once.

The Jungle Room. It has shag pile carpet ON THE CEILING.

Because carpet in the kitchen is always a great idea.

Because you need to feel like you're in a giant fabric tent while playing pool. Or something.

And that was pretty much all we did in Memphis. We drove through the centre of town to take a photo of the Beale Street sign, and then headed for the interstate. Thankfully, the drive BACK from Memphis was incident free. Oh, also? Have you guys seen the Memphis Convention Centre?? It's SHAPED LIKE A PYRAMID:

The remaining few days of my trip were a bit of a blur. We went to the museum in Nashville to see an exhibition of Egyptian New Kingdom stuff. The audio tour was narrated by Jeremy Irons, and he reminded you of that CONSTANTLY. Like every single bit you listened to would start with "Hello. I'm Jeremy Irons." (Did you just read that in his voice? Because I TYPED THAT WITH HIS VOICE IN MY HEAD. It was a bit creepy, to be honest)

We also hung out with some of the girls Megan worked with. One in particular came out with some truly astonishing (and memorable!) quotes.
On inbreeding in the South: "They don't have a family tree. They have a family WREATH!"
On Jedi as a religion: "Do you think instead of "Go to Hell!", they say "Damn you to the Death Star!"??"

And that concludes my trip to the US. Next up, South and Central America and everything that happened!
K xx

Ancient History, Volume VIII

When I last left off, Megan and I had just arrived back from New York, complete with a bus that caught fire. Upon arrival back in Tennessee, we spent a good week packing up Megan's apartment and moving everything across town. Because everyone knows there's nothing people like better than a houseguest when they're in the middle of moving! Or something. Random word of advice? Plastic grocery bags do not make effective rubber gloves. Do not clean a stove with Easy Off Bam using plastic grocery bags as gloves. They will dissolve...

We interspersed the moving activities with trips to a bar with a couple of other girls. On one of these visits, we had the dubious pleasure of making the acquaintance of a couple of Southern rednecks. Which is how I got to hear conversations like this:
Megan's drama-attracting roommate: "So, what are you guys doing tomorrow?"
Redneck guy: "Goin' frog-giggin'!"
Me: [whispers] "WTF is frog...gigging?"
Megan: [whispers] "Hunting frogs with a trident/spear thingy."
Me: "PEOPLE ACTUALLY DO THAT????" *head explodes*

I don't think I ever expected Tennessee to be quite *THAT* Southern...

The new house proved to be quite exciting, because it came with dogs. This is Charlie, who was convinced he was a lapdog, despite being an enormous Labrador:

Somewhere in amongst the moving and the learning about weird Southern things, we headed up to Nashville and visited Opryland. I'm sure it was interesting, but I honestly don't remember a thing about it!

Just after 4th of July, Megan and I loaded up her car with a whole lot of junk food and hit the road, heading for Memphis. After about an hour on the road, we heard a noise that sounded like a helicopter coming up behind the car. And then the car started acting weird.

We pulled over to the side of the interstate, and promptly discovered that one of the tyres had a giant nail in it. Megan was wearing a skirt, which is how I (the least car-savvy person on the planet) ended up laying on the interstate, trying to work out where under the car a jack is supposed to go. We soon came across another problem. The car had been serviced a few days before our roadtrip, and they'd rotated the tyres. And put the hub caps back on with the pneumatic wrench thingy. Which meant that we couldn't even BUDGE the lug nuts (as further proof of my cluelessness about cars, I just had to Google the names of ALL those things).

File under "things that could change a tyre better than me". Also, source.

So Megan was trying to get the spare tyre out of the boot, and I was laying in the road. And that's about the time that a truck driver stopped to help us. Apparently all the passing truck drivers had been talking about us on the CB radio. Awesome... Anyway, random truck driver man was able to change the tyre for us (and also inform me that I had the jack in completely the wrong place. FAIL...) But Megan's car only had a space saver spare, which meant we had to drive super-slow. And which meant we got to drive to the next exit, and sit around a garage for 45 minutes waiting for the mechanic to come back. At which point, he told us that he didn't have the right sized tyre. So we had to keep driving until we reached Jackson.

Eventually, we found a place in Jackson that had a tyre the right size, and after sitting around for an hour so it could be changed, we were on the road to Memphis again. We got there at around 3pm, having left the house at 7.45am. Yeah. A 400km drive took us over seven hours...

Oh, and the best part of the flat tyre story? When I told my mum, she totally freaked out because all she could think of was Duelling Banjos. Sorry, Tennessee...

Next up, touristy things in Memphis. Including Graceland, the tackiest place on Earth!

So, who else can't change a tyre? And have you ever been frog gigging? If so, WHY?????

K xx

Ancient History, Volume V

In early 2006, I was told that my job was being made permanent, but that I wasn't eligible to apply for it because I wasn't already a permanent employee *head explodes* So I went "Screw this, I'm leaving on my terms on a date of my choosing" and booked a plane ticket to the US to see Megan. (And yet, two months after I got back, I ended up back at the same company doing basically the same work. Go figure...)

By this point, Megan was living in Tennessee. My first travel diary entry after arriving includes the genius sentence "Tennessee is quite different to Nebraska." OH MY GOD, REALLY?????? Thanks so much for clarifying that, 23 year old me. One of the most exciting parts of this trip was that I bought my very first digital camera, which means I don't have to search through photo albums and scan stuff. WHEEEE!!!

Ahem. So. We spent a couple of weeks in Tennessee, pottering about and hanging out with people, and almost going to private parties for Dierks Bentley in Nashville. We also went to a bar where this happened:
Megan's housemate: What beers do you have?
Waitress: Oh, a whole bunch!!

Yup. That was about as helpful as she could manage... After those first few weeks, we packed up all our stuff and got on a plane to Washington DC. Our first port of call was the Library of Congress, because Megan was in the middle of her Masters and needed to do research for her thesis.

If you ever get the chance to go to the Library of Congress, TAKE IT. It's gorgeous. And their collection is astonishingly brilliant. </library nerd spiel>

We also visited the Capitol Building (well, the outside at least), where the annual Law Enforcement Officers' Torch Race was happening. There were a LOT of law enforcement officers wearing tiny shorts there. Also on the list of sites were a bunch of Smithsonians, including the National Gallery of Art, the Natural History Museum, and the American History Museum. Back in those days, prior to the Great Washington Earthquake of 2011, you could walk right up to the Washington Monument.

Fascinating, no? We also went to the National Archives where I attempted to take photos of the Bill of Rights, Declaration of Independence and Constitution without the flash. Clearly, I wasn't very good at the whole holding-the-camera-still part...

You can totally read that, right??

You could also get much closer to the White House in 2006 than you could in 2011. See?

We also wandered around all the memorials. Unlike my trip last year, the Reflecting Pool actually had water in it, which was quite exciting. While walking around the Tidal Basin, we saw quite possibly the most unexpected thing I've ever seen in America: PEOPLE PLAYING CRICKET.

Good luck with converting America from baseball, embassy types...

We also had quite the exciting Sunday, which featured TWO churches and a zoo. Did you know there were dinosaurs in the Garden of Eden? I sure as hell didn't. But according to this mosaic on the roof of the National Basilica of something or other, there were. I circled it for you:

Having spent a millionty years at Anglican schools, I felt far more at home in the National Cathedral, where 99% of the decoration was courtesy of stained glass windows. One of which contains space rock:

BEST. WINDOW. EVER.

And the zoo featured a baby panda playing with its own feet. Squeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

And finally, we headed across to Arlington National Cemetery, where we saw all the expected sights and where Megan had to remind me that singing the Adelaide Crows theme song whenever I heard the Marines' Hymn playing was probably not a good idea (same tune, VERY different words)... Despite my inadvertent faux pas, the Iwo Jima Memorial was totally worth seeing (as was the rest of Arlington, really!):

So that was Washington. And as this is already stupidly long, I'm going to divide this trip into instalments. Next up, things get far more interesting when we catch a BUS to Philadelphia. Yeah.........

K xx