The never ending day of monuments

So, as I said last time, we visited Congress, three monuments, and Mount Vernon, all before lunch.

Lunch took place at Union Station food court, which was greatly perplexing because I spent most of the time we were there thinking that I had to board a train to New York and where the hell had Kat run off to? It's possible that I was still slightly jetlagged...

After (a much longer than was warranted) lunch break, it was back onto the bus and out to Arlington National Cemetery. If you know anything about the layout of DC, you may be slightly miffed about this, much like I was. Because here's a map that shows you roughly where our main stops were and the order in which the stops occurred:

I was going to put lines between the numbers,
but it looked like an enormous and
very confused wang.

Quite why we didn't have lunch in Alexandria and save ourselves a million years in traffic, I do not know.

Upon arrival at Arlington, we promptly stood around in the freezing cold for 20 minutes waiting for a bus that would take us to the two main sites in the cemetery - JFK's grave, and the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Having walked around Arlington on previous occasions, we likely could have walked to JFK's grave in far less time than we stood around waiting for the bus.

The city from JFK's grave

And we had a whopping 4 minutes there before the bus moved on. Needless to say, I was not particularly impressed with the way in which our tour of DC was run, or the information that was provided to us by our tour leader...

ANYWAY. We then drove to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, where we had a whopping 10 minutes in which to watch the changing of the guard...

Thanks to the woman in front of me for having a giant fuzzy hat that got in
ALL my photos...

...before it was back on the bus and back to the visitor centre, and back on OUR bus heading to downtown DC and more monuments. Namely, the Korean War Memorial:

The Vietnam Memorial:

It was January 6th, so all the Christmas stuff
was still up. 

My favourite - the often overlooked Vietnam Nurses Memorial:

And the Lincoln Memorial. Where the obligatory pigeon that sits on Abe's head had apparently turned in for the night.

From there, we headed to a "Welcome to Washington" dinner at a ridiculously tacky Italian restaurant. Because there were 50 of us, dinner had been preordered, and consisted of the following:
- Caesar salad
- Greek salad (at an Italian restaurant. CONFUSED)
- Chicken parmigiana
- Fettuccine alfredo
- Spaghetti marinara (Dear Australia: in America, marinara = napolitana and has absolutely no seafood in it. I KNOW).
- Cheesecake

Responsible Adult (one of the four people from the library stream and so called because she has a job, a husband and children) wasn't particularly pleased with this menu, as she doesn't really eat carbs and can't tolerate a lot of dairy. So she ordered something else. This is what happened:

Responsible Adult: Yes, I was wondering if it would be possible for me to get the pan fried lemon chicken?
Waiter: Okay, and what vegetables would you like with that?
RA: What are the options?
Waiter: Beans. Or broccoli.
RA: Can I have both?
Waiter: No.

And then when her food eventually came, she got about four florets of broccoli. Quite how the entire American population isn't dying of scurvy is completely beyond me...

Next up, I really suck at betting for paperclips, and Agatha Goodkin and I go to the basketball. It's more interesting than it sounds, I promise.

K xx

Ancient History, Volume V

In early 2006, I was told that my job was being made permanent, but that I wasn't eligible to apply for it because I wasn't already a permanent employee *head explodes* So I went "Screw this, I'm leaving on my terms on a date of my choosing" and booked a plane ticket to the US to see Megan. (And yet, two months after I got back, I ended up back at the same company doing basically the same work. Go figure...)

By this point, Megan was living in Tennessee. My first travel diary entry after arriving includes the genius sentence "Tennessee is quite different to Nebraska." OH MY GOD, REALLY?????? Thanks so much for clarifying that, 23 year old me. One of the most exciting parts of this trip was that I bought my very first digital camera, which means I don't have to search through photo albums and scan stuff. WHEEEE!!!

Ahem. So. We spent a couple of weeks in Tennessee, pottering about and hanging out with people, and almost going to private parties for Dierks Bentley in Nashville. We also went to a bar where this happened:
Megan's housemate: What beers do you have?
Waitress: Oh, a whole bunch!!

Yup. That was about as helpful as she could manage... After those first few weeks, we packed up all our stuff and got on a plane to Washington DC. Our first port of call was the Library of Congress, because Megan was in the middle of her Masters and needed to do research for her thesis.

If you ever get the chance to go to the Library of Congress, TAKE IT. It's gorgeous. And their collection is astonishingly brilliant. </library nerd spiel>

We also visited the Capitol Building (well, the outside at least), where the annual Law Enforcement Officers' Torch Race was happening. There were a LOT of law enforcement officers wearing tiny shorts there. Also on the list of sites were a bunch of Smithsonians, including the National Gallery of Art, the Natural History Museum, and the American History Museum. Back in those days, prior to the Great Washington Earthquake of 2011, you could walk right up to the Washington Monument.

Fascinating, no? We also went to the National Archives where I attempted to take photos of the Bill of Rights, Declaration of Independence and Constitution without the flash. Clearly, I wasn't very good at the whole holding-the-camera-still part...

You can totally read that, right??

You could also get much closer to the White House in 2006 than you could in 2011. See?

We also wandered around all the memorials. Unlike my trip last year, the Reflecting Pool actually had water in it, which was quite exciting. While walking around the Tidal Basin, we saw quite possibly the most unexpected thing I've ever seen in America: PEOPLE PLAYING CRICKET.

Good luck with converting America from baseball, embassy types...

We also had quite the exciting Sunday, which featured TWO churches and a zoo. Did you know there were dinosaurs in the Garden of Eden? I sure as hell didn't. But according to this mosaic on the roof of the National Basilica of something or other, there were. I circled it for you:

Having spent a millionty years at Anglican schools, I felt far more at home in the National Cathedral, where 99% of the decoration was courtesy of stained glass windows. One of which contains space rock:

BEST. WINDOW. EVER.

And the zoo featured a baby panda playing with its own feet. Squeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

And finally, we headed across to Arlington National Cemetery, where we saw all the expected sights and where Megan had to remind me that singing the Adelaide Crows theme song whenever I heard the Marines' Hymn playing was probably not a good idea (same tune, VERY different words)... Despite my inadvertent faux pas, the Iwo Jima Memorial was totally worth seeing (as was the rest of Arlington, really!):

So that was Washington. And as this is already stupidly long, I'm going to divide this trip into instalments. Next up, things get far more interesting when we catch a BUS to Philadelphia. Yeah.........

K xx

Colorado - the "she wants to go right!" edition

*WARNING* This one is going to be even more picture heavy than usual. Sorry...


And so we come, as we inevitably must, to the conclusion of my (ridiculously longwinded) series of posts about my trip to the US. It's only taken me, what, four months to write about my six week trip. #GENIUS

(Incidentally, I was convinced that "and so we come, as we inevitably must" was a quote from something, so I Googled it. Apparently it's only nerds like me who use that. And people who write fan fiction about WRESTLING. *head explodes*)

ANYWAY. My last full day in Colorado, Lyndsy and I headed up to the mountains to look at the leaves. We started out by heading to Guanella Pass. The trees on the drive up were pretty spectacular up close. I *may* have almost fallen down a hill because I was looking at the trees while trying to change the lens on my camera, with the other lens clasped between my knees. #classy 

And the view from the top of Guanella Pass wasn't too shabby either! It WAS rather chilly though, so we didn't stay too long.

From there, we headed for the Peak to Peak Highway via Central City. With no GPS to rely on, our navigation was courtesy of print outs from Google Maps. Needless to say, things got slightly confusing when we took an incorrect turn in Central City. Especially as Central City has a ton of one way streets. But it worked out pretty well in the end, because we came across this random old cemetery that's filled with aspen trees. 

It was quite fun to wander through the trees and find graves hidden amongst them. Or it was, until we came across this propped against a tree:

Karen Warner. 'Til death do us part?

It's like the creepiest marriage proposal of all time. I mean, seriously. Why the hell is there a question mark?!?! O.o

We then came across this, which made us both laugh a little harder than it should have. Mostly because at first, I thought it was the middle finger that was raised. And then because they felt the need to clarify that "home" meant UP.

We eventually made it to the Peak to Peak Highway, and - along with half the population of Colorado - came across this patch of trees. We nearly got hit by a people mover from Kansas being driven by people who were either incredibly blind or just didn't care that there were pedestrians standing where they wanted to park their car. But it was worth it, don't you think?

From there, we went past another couple of 14,000 foot mountains before arriving in Estes Park. Upon arrival, we almost had an accident courtesy of a shit ton of elk (that's the collective noun for elk, right??) on the golf course, which people were stopping in the middle of the road to take photos of. We, being sensible individuals, drove over to the parking lot of the tourist information centre and walked back over to the golf course. At one point, we had to walk across a bridge and stopped to look at the salmon (?) that were trying to jump up the weir to get upstream. IDIOTS. After being amused by the doomed-to-failure salmon for a while, we turned to keep walking towards the golf course, and were met with this:

Me: (out loud) HOLY CRAP! (internally) AAAAAARGH, GIANT DEER THING COMING TOWARDS ME!!

Cop standing nearby: Just stay where you are, ladies. She wants to make a right.

Lyndsy: How does he know??

Me: Maybe elk have indicators?

The cop was right - apparently this particular elk was too lazy to jump the fence, and so was wandering up through the crowd to a gap in the fence. We stood around taking pictures of the elk for a while. There were a couple of males there, so there was some bugling going on, which was pretty cool. Sadly, I didn't think to use the video mode on my point and shoot because I'm a moron and left it in the car.  

Bugling!

Check out those insane antlers

Dawwwww, baby!!

This just made me laugh

There's only so much elk butt you can look at without getting bored. So after a while, we headed up to the Stanley Hotel, which was the inspiration for The Shining. 

The miniseries that was made in 1997 was actually filmed there. We were too cheap to actually do a tour (partly because one had just started, so we would have had to wait a millionty years for the next one), so we wandered around the foyer, peered up the staircase, bought a tacky postcard for my brother and headed off in search of ice cream. On the way to find ice cream, we found more elk. These ones used a zebra crossing rather than just walking into the road. That was weird. (NO ONE MAKE JOKES ABOUT HOW ELK AREN'T ZEBRAS. I'LL HURT YOU IF YOU DO.)

Anyway. We ended up in one of the many ice cream stores in town, and decided that milkshakes would be easier to drink on the trip back to Denver. They were delicious, but good GOD they were expensive! (Correct me if I'm wrong, but over $7 seems excessive, yes???) Upon arriving back in Denver, we picked up Lyndsy's husband from work, and headed out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant near their house. The next morning, which I foolishly assumed was my last day in America, I realised that I hadn't ONCE eaten mozzarella sticks. On mentioning this to Lyndsy, we decided that it needed to be rectified. So we went out to lunch at a pub near her house.

OH. AND. On the way in, there was a bus stop. At the bus stop, a lady was sitting with her toddler. Her toddler was rolling his large toy truck down a ramp and into the road, then walking out between parked cars to get it. #parentingfail

Waitress: What can I get you guys?

Lyndsy: I'll have [insert food here. I know it involved deep fried pickle bits].

Me: And I'll have the mozzarella sticks, and a side of mac and cheese.

Waitress: Anything else?

Me: *joking* Yeah, I don't think there'll be quite enough cheese involved in my lunch, so if you could sprinkle a little extra over the top...

Waitress: Sure thing! *walks off*

Lyndsy: I don't think she got that you were joking...

Me: Crap...

My mac and cheese was certainly very cheesy. On the plus side, it didn't taste like bonfire.

What an appropriate way to finish my trip to America - with a nice dose of heart disease ;)

K xx

PS. If you've missed any of this ridiculously drawn out series, you can check them out here:

What up, America!

Chicago, part 1 of a millionty

Ferris Bueller, you're my hero

Awesome sauce: A 20SB Summit recap

Chicago, the bloggy friend hilarity edition

Chicago, the "catching up with old friends" edition

Chicago, the "this is the last one, I promise" edition

Colorado, the "I'm a dirty slacker" edition

Colorado, the "doing touristy things in Denver" edition

Colorado - the "apparently banana is a confusing word" edition

Colorado - the "apparently Bigfoot lives in the Springs" edition

Colorado - the "I'm a forgetful moron" edition

Los Angeles - the "I'm not supposed to be here" edition

Washington - the "THIS IS NOT A MUSEUM" edition

Washington - the "Say cheese, weirdo!" edition

Washington - the "I'm lazy, so here's a bunch of pictures" edition

New York - the "subways and statues" edition

New York - the "Ground Zero" edition

New York - the "skyscrapers and vile drinks" edition

New York - the "Oooh, random parade!" edition

New York - the "Robot Busboy" edition

Roadtrip to Boston - the "Wheeee, internet strangers!" edition

Boston - the "cold and flu tablets, 1: Kirsti, 0" edition

Boston - the "why did we spend money on this?" edition

Boston to Colorado - the "a boob grope and a wedding" edition