Ancient History, Volume XXIX

Previously, there was a Mayan skeleton in a cave in Belize and it was awesome. Also, I saw a manatee while snorkelling.

The day after the Snorkelling of Sunburn-y-ness (which is not, as it would appear, a place in Wales), we caught a boat from Caye Caulker back to Belize City. That was a completely miserable experience, because it was INCREDIBLY windy, and every time the boat hit a wave, the spray would fly into the boat and hit us all. By the time we arrived in Belize City, I was a) cranky, b) sitting in a puddle, and c) drenched, in addition to looking like I'd wet my pants.

Of course, what you want to do when you're soaking wet and look like you've peed your pants is spend three hours on a bus heading for the Mexican border. Interestingly, you clear Belizean emigration about a 20 minute drive from the actual border. Which seemed weird to me. BUT I DIGRESS. We once again walked across the border, except that it was more like a dog leg into Mexico:

Please marvel once again at my wicked MS Paint skills...

The trip through the immigration building was...interesting, because Arizona Boy (our tour leader, in case you've forgotten) managed to piss off one of the border guards who then decided that Arizona Boy was dodgy. So it took an extra long time to get across the border. Eventually though, we were back on a bus and heading for Bacalar. Upon arrival, we were greeted with the tackiest hotel room of EVER. Our reactions went a little like this:

The bedside lights were conch shells, the bedspreads had ENORMOUS tigers printed on them, and the bathroom fixtures were made of shells and dead seahorses in resin. And the bathroom had a giant sign on the sink warning you not to put hot things on the resin because "YT MELTS". I was sure I had a photo of that sign, but apparently not. And I'm too lazy to search through all of Sara's photos on Facebook to see if she took one!!

Still, the view of the lake was totally worth it:

And we spent the afternoon sitting in the pool with guacamole and cocktails. Which would have been a slightly more pleasant experience if the pool hadn't been right next to where they were sanding down a couple of benches, meaning that there was a film of paint flakes on the surface of the water..........

The following day, we were bound for Cancun. But we were given the option of detouring via Tulum, a Mayan site right on the beach, so obviously most of us chose to break up the bus trip. The site itself wasn't particularly exciting from an archaeological perspective, but RUINS! ON THE BEACH!!

After several hours there, it was back on a bus and into Cancun. We were staying in the old part of town, rather than in the really touristy hotel sector, so it wasn't quite what any of us expected. That night, we went out for a farewell dinner (most of the group were leaving us in Cancun, and we were getting some new additions the next day). And after dinner, Arizona Boy decided to take us to this cool little bar he knew. Except that he couldn't remember exactly where it was, so we spent 20 minute wandering around the backstreets of Cancun, only to find that the bar had closed down several months earlier.

And so it came to pass that we ended up at the karaoke bar opposite our hotel. Did you know that Mexico takes its karaoke very seriously?? Neither did I. And there seemed to be some kind of obsession with slow, tacky ballads. So it didn't go down very well when one of our group decided to sing AC/DC later in the night... On the plus side, we got to cackle hysterically at the video clips, which were all batshit crazy. In one, a giant monkey was running around attacking people. Because, you know, that's totally what the song lyrics of the sappy ballad being sung were about...

Next up, Sara and I spent FAR too much money in Cancun's hotel zone, and then leave town for Chichen Itza!

K xx

Ancient History, Volume XXVIII

Previously, I visited the Mayan city of Tikal and was generally in archaeology nerd heaven. Also, there were really enormous mosquitoes. Also, I walked across the border into Belize, because apparently that's TOTALLY normal.

The day after arriving in Belize, we boarded a minibus and drove an hour and a half along crappy dirt roads to the start of a walking track in the middle of nowhere. From there, it was a 45 minute walk into the jungle. If you're thinking that this sounds like the start of a horror movie, you'd be right. Except that we were paying for the privilege!

Eventually, we arrived at our destination:

The Actun Tunichil Muknal cave system. To enter the caves, you clamber down a bunch of rocks, wade into the middle of a river, down a slope, and then swim across that pond to the entrance before clambering up the other side and into the cave system. Once in the cave, the water level varied DRAMATICALLY. A lot of the time, it was ankle or knee deep. But on occasions, it would suddenly be chest deep with very little warning. After about an hour or so (which included stops to look at interesting formations and hear about the Mayan history of the cave), we reached a big pinnacle in the middle of the river.

Guide: Okay, you're going to climb up this.
Me: WTF? That thing's like 4 metres high!
Guide: It's not that hard. Just put your foot here to start.
Me: But...there's no ropes or anything! What if I fall?? The water's only ankle deep....... O.o
Guide: Just get up the damned thing, will you?

Oh, and once at the top of the pinnacle thing? You had to step across empty space to get into the dry part of the caves. Sure, it was only like 30cms, but STILL. But it was totally worth it once we got there. Because LOOK:

Mayan pottery. And a guide's hand... That pot at the front is one of only four
of its kind ever found. It has a monkey on it. 

Eventually, we reached a ladder that disappeared up into the darkness. Climbing that was an...interesting...experience, because the rockface it was leaning against wasn't straight, so every step you took made ominous noises.

And at the top? The Crystal Princess.

Over the centuries, her bones have basically been turned into a cave formation, and so they sparkle in the light.

I'd also like to point out that we did this entire exercise with helmets and head lamps and ladders and those enormous million candle strength torches that Mulder and Scully carry in the early seasons of The X-Files. The Mayans got up there with nothing but fire on a stick. Can you imagine how terrifying it would be knowing that if you dropped your bit of fire on a stick, it would be instantly pitch black and you'd be totally screwed???? O.o

The next day, we were up bright and early to catch chicken buses to Belize City. Chicken buses are...not even remotely an enjoyable experience. They're retired American school buses, and as such are NOT designed for people over five feet tall. Four years later, my knees STILL haven't recovered... The highlight of the chicken bus to Belize City was a man who vomited all over the floor, tried to cover the evidence by smearing it around with his foot, and then got off the bus at the next stop. And because he did so almost silently, the only people who noticed were me and the man next to him.

We had a whopping half hour to kill in Belize City before getting on a boat to Caye Caulker. The boat ride was dull and Caye Caulker was...disgustingly hot. Many ice creams and cold drinks were consumed, and we had the pleasure(?) of discovering that one of the guys on our trip was terrified of crabs when a rather large one wandered into the bar we were in, and he squealed like a girl and jumped up on his chair, refusing to come down again until the crab was gone.

Okay, fine. The Macra are pretty creepy. But crabs aren't Macra sized! Source

The next day, we headed out on a yacht for a day of snorkelling. The first stop was the Coral Gardens, where I discovered that we were expected to jump off the boat into the water. This was oddly terrifying and it took me a million attempts to get into the water. Shortly after I eventually DID jump off the boat, the captain yelled out that there was a manatee next to the boat.

What I expected:

Source

What I saw:

Please marvel at my wicked MS Paint skills

So yeah. The manatee was a millionty miles away, and was just a fuzzy grey blob. The second snorkelling spot was Shark and Ray Alley, which pretty much lived up to its name. And finally, we finished up with a trip to Hol Chan Cut, which was a little freaky because the water we had to jump off the boat into was only about six feet deep... O.o But we got to swim with sea turtles - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! So. Much. Awesome.

Sadly, as a result of my anti-malarial tablets, I had the misfortune to come out of the day of snorkelling with a case of sunburn on my back so epic that I still had tan lines six months later. This resulted in much pain and the need to sleep on my stomach for about four days... O.o

Up next, more ruins, and CANCUN!!

K xx

Ancient History, Volume XXVII

Previously, I discovered a sad lack of pirates in the Caribbean off the coast of Guatemala. The following day, we were up at the ungodly hour of 5am. After a nutritious breakfast of orange juice and tortillas (seriously), we were on the bus by 6am for the one and a half hour drive to Tikal. Upon arrival, we had half an hour to stretch our legs, which seemed REALLY pointless, considering we were about to spend several hours walking around awesome ruins, but apparently my "OMG MY ARCHAEOLOGY NERD SELF CAN'T COPE CAN WE JUST *GO*?????" pleas were overruled.

Eventually, the tour started and we were less than thrilled to discover that Tikal is basically overrun with enormous and very bitey mosquitoes. (Public service announcement: never Google "giant mosquito". You will give yourself the heebiejeebies) Suit Pants, a tour leader in training (who dressed almost exclusively in cheap suit pants bought from op shops/thrift stores for $5 and cut off at the knee) who was travelling with us for half of the trip, decided that it would be an awesome idea to swat the mosquitoes with his metal water bottle. That lasted right up until around the time he swung vigorously, missed his leg, and whacked himself in the groin instead.

ANYWAY. We started out with a visit to Group G, which - according to Wikipedia - dates to the late Classic period and consists of palace structures. Mostly, I thought it was SUPER AWESOME SAUCE.

After a mosey around there, it was off to Temple V, which you can climb. The view from the top was pretty spectacular, but the seven flights of fifteen stairs that were so steep you had to climb them like a ladder was less than enjoyable!

Temple V

Wheeeeeee, stairs.

The view from the top

From there, we headed to the main plaza. On the way, I became intrigued by the restoration technique being implemented by a work crew - hack apart bits of rock with a machete until they were roughly the shape you wanted, then throw they to the next bloke in line, who would add mortar and apply it to the building. Bizarre!! We stopped off at Temple IV on the way to the plaza, which had a pretty nifty view too:

Somewhere in there is an entire ruined city

Then it was on to the plaza for badly taken group photos (I got cut off the edge in all of mine) and a quick wander around on our own. I basically ran around like a lunatic, taking photos of anything and everything I could find:

Main plaza and Jaguar Temple

I have no idea what this is. But it's cool.

Stela in the main plaza

Temple II

View of the main plaza and temples

From there, it was back to the bus and, after a quick bite of lunch, the two hour drive to the border with Belize. Hey Australia and New Zealand? Did you know that in South and Central America, it's perfectly normal to WALK ACROSS AN INTERNATIONAL BORDER????

I did not, and it blew my mind. I guess when you can't get to another country without crossing hours and hours of water, these things just don't occur to you! Anyway, we walked across the border into Belize, because the bus was only licenced in Guatemala, and then had a 45 minute car trip to San Ignacio.

Aaaaaaaaand once there, it took approximately five minutes in (English speaking) Belize for me to forget all the Spanish I'd managed to learn in the previous four weeks. Well done, me. Well done.

Next up, spelunking with skeletons and snorkelling with manta rays and manatees!

K xx

Picture-palooza

This time three years ago, I was on a plane heading to Peru. That nine weeks in the Americas turned out to be the best and worst of my life. Ness got sick (in a med-evac by the Peruvian Air Force kind of a way) and I got to be grateful that Guatemalan bathrooms are so small that you can (MASSIVE OVERSHARE!) puke into the shower while sitting on the loo. But I got to see some of the most amazing historic sites in the world, and I met people on that trip who've become some of my best friends.

Anyway, seeing as the trip was in my pre-blogging days, I now present the highlights of nine weeks in the Americas!

Arequipa, Peru

En route to Colca Canyon, Peru (complete with alpaca!)

Sunset over Lake Titicaca, Peru

Saqsaywaman, just outside Cusco, Peru

Ollantaytambo, Peru

Inca Trail Day 1, Peru

The best rock on Earth, Inca Trail Day 3, Peru

Inca Trail Day 3, Peru

Machu Picchu, Peru

Group 'Hurrah, We Did It!' photo at Machu Picchu

Machu Picchu from the adjacent mountain, Peru

Standing on the equator, near Quito, Ecuador

Giant tortoises, Santa Cruz, Galapagos Islands

Fur seals on Santiago, Galapagos Islands

Bartolome, Galapagos Islands

Sombrero Chino, Galapagos Islands

Sealions, Sombrero Chino, Galapagos Islands

Frigate Bird, North Seymour, Galapagos Islands

Blue footed booby (snigger), North Seymour, Galapagos Islands

Antigua, Guatemala

Flores, Guatemala

Tikal, Guatemala

Achtun Tunichil Muknal caves, Belize

Chichen Itza, Mexico

Swimming in cenotes near Merida, Mexico

Palenque, Mexico

San Cristobal de las Casas, Mexico

Cramming nine people in a tuktuk, Panajachel, Guatemala. Sara was on the parcel shelf!

Lake Atitlan, Guatemala

Teotihuacan, Mexico

The biggest flag I've ever seen, Mexico City, Mexico

Grand Canyon from a helicopter, USA

The ridiculousness that is The Luxor, Las Vegas, USA

Also, I REALLY wish I could show you the quarantine video that was screened on the way into New Zealand. The woman pulled a massive salami, an entire wheel of cheese and a WHOLE PINEAPPLE OUT OF HER HAND LUGGAGE. It was the greatest thing I've ever seen. Sadly, it doesn't seem to be available online anywhere, so you'll just have to imagine it!

K xx