New Zealand - the "LOOK AT THE PRETTY!" edition

Previously, Ness and I drove a really long way and it wasn't particularly exciting.

After our night in Otorohanga, we packed up and headed the not-very-far-down-the-road to Waitomo. Once there, we bought tickets to tour all three caves, because GO BIG OR GO HOME, YO. We had about 45 minutes to kill before our tour of Aranui Cave, so we decided to embrace the hobbit lifestyle and have second breakfast. Well. Ness had something resembling breakfast. I had a triple chocolate brownie. And while we ate, we eavesdropped on a conversation being had about Australia by some very loud Americans.

And lucky for you, I recorded the basic details of it in a memo on my phone, so I can tell you about it.

Know-It-All American: "In Australia, they have to take food everywhere on these massive trucks."
Friend: "Oh, really?"
KIAA: "Yeah, they're called roadtrains. And once they start driving, they're impossible to stop."
Me: "..................................."
Friend: "Whoa."
KIAA: "Yup. They drive from Perth to Sydney without stopping at all!"
Me: *busts an organ trying not to laugh*

Right. The roadtrains drive 4,000km without stopping at all. And when they reach Sydney, the only thing that stops them is that they drive into the ocean and that floods the engine and shuts it off...

KIAA: "The city centre in Melbourne is really small. And they call it the CBD - centralised business dominion."
Me: *mutters* "DISTRICT. Central business DISTRICT."
KIAA: "You can walk around the Melbourne CBD in like half an hour."
Friend: "Oh, wow. That IS small."
KIAA: "But to walk around Sydney's would take you ALL DAY."
Me: *mutters* a) You're really wrong on both lengths of time, b) Melbourne's CBD consists of more than just the grid, you abominable twat."

There was also something about the construction of the Sydney Harbour Bridge, apparently, but I can't remember what it was, unfortunately.

Of course, these delightful individuals turned out to be on our tour. And the friend turned out to be wearing sparkly platform flip flops while carrying her nine month old baby. The tour specifically said to wear sturdy shoes with good grip as the cave is often slippery. Luckily for everyone, the baby and its mother made it out in one piece.

Anyway, Aranui Cave was pretty if not especially big (well, the parts you could walk through, anyway):

From there, we moved on to the Glowworm Cave, where you can't take pictures. And let me tell you, it. was. AMAZING. Technically, they're less glowworms and more maggot-y things, but PFFF. They're still super pretty. You walk through the cave looking at a couple of basic formations, and then they load you into boats to go through the glowworm part. I'm pretty sure I spent the entire boat ride with a massive grin on my face because it was so incredible.

(If you want to know more about the glowworms, you can go watch this SciShow video from Hank Green)

After a quick spot of lunch (under no circumstances did I have chips and garlic mayo for lunch NOPE DIDN'T DO THAT), we headed out on our tour of Ruakuri Cave, which was kind of awesome because we got to see some glowworms up locse, and also because we got to see some people doing the high ropes course through the cave, which looks INSANE. Plus, parts of the cave were really pretty:

Aaaaaand I think that's quite enough for one post, so I'll split Waitomo into two parts. Next up, we investigate a waterfall, have a delicious dinner, hang out with some more glowworms, and come across something unexpected.

K xx

I'm going on an adventure

I know I've mentioned this on Twitter and in the comments sections on a few posts, and probably in passing a couple of times, but I realised today that I've never actually properly told you guys something pretty big. And that something is this:

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Yes, my friends. At stupid o'clock on Saturday morning, I will be heading to the airport to board a plane to the land of the long white cloud. (The stupid o'clock part is not an exaggeration - my plane is at 8.10am, so I have to be at the airport by like 6am. URGH)

I'm flying into Auckland, where Ness and I will be staying with our BFF Kat for a few days. Then we're hitting the road. We'll head down to Matamata to go here:

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Hobbiton, more precisely. BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY. Then it's on to Rotorua, which apparently smells a lot like fart, but which is full of awesome geysers and hot springs as well as places to see kiwis and keas, and learn about Maori culture.

From there, we hit the road again and head south for Tongariro National Park, home to a ton of waterfalls and rainforests and three volcanoes. One of which you may know better as Mount Doom! We plan on doing a couple of bushwalks (known in New Zealand as "tramps". LOLOLOLOLOL). Plus, we're staying in a schmantzy hotel that looks a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit like the hotel in The Shining... O.o

A couple of days later, it's back on the road time, and we're heading across to Waitomo to check out the glow worm caves of awesomeness:

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Aaaaaaand then it's back to Auckland and the airport. Ness is heading Christchurch, and I'm heading To Wellington. Why? TO SEE KIM, OF COURSE. We have been all caps emailing about it for months. There will be museum-ing and Marvel-ing and generally having All The Fun, and it will be MAGICAL.

So there you have it. If I'm not around much over the next couple of weeks? That's why.

Wish me good weather?

K xx

Ancient History, Volume XXVIII

Previously, I visited the Mayan city of Tikal and was generally in archaeology nerd heaven. Also, there were really enormous mosquitoes. Also, I walked across the border into Belize, because apparently that's TOTALLY normal.

The day after arriving in Belize, we boarded a minibus and drove an hour and a half along crappy dirt roads to the start of a walking track in the middle of nowhere. From there, it was a 45 minute walk into the jungle. If you're thinking that this sounds like the start of a horror movie, you'd be right. Except that we were paying for the privilege!

Eventually, we arrived at our destination:

The Actun Tunichil Muknal cave system. To enter the caves, you clamber down a bunch of rocks, wade into the middle of a river, down a slope, and then swim across that pond to the entrance before clambering up the other side and into the cave system. Once in the cave, the water level varied DRAMATICALLY. A lot of the time, it was ankle or knee deep. But on occasions, it would suddenly be chest deep with very little warning. After about an hour or so (which included stops to look at interesting formations and hear about the Mayan history of the cave), we reached a big pinnacle in the middle of the river.

Guide: Okay, you're going to climb up this.
Me: WTF? That thing's like 4 metres high!
Guide: It's not that hard. Just put your foot here to start.
Me: But...there's no ropes or anything! What if I fall?? The water's only ankle deep....... O.o
Guide: Just get up the damned thing, will you?

Oh, and once at the top of the pinnacle thing? You had to step across empty space to get into the dry part of the caves. Sure, it was only like 30cms, but STILL. But it was totally worth it once we got there. Because LOOK:

Mayan pottery. And a guide's hand... That pot at the front is one of only four
of its kind ever found. It has a monkey on it. 

Eventually, we reached a ladder that disappeared up into the darkness. Climbing that was an...interesting...experience, because the rockface it was leaning against wasn't straight, so every step you took made ominous noises.

And at the top? The Crystal Princess.

Over the centuries, her bones have basically been turned into a cave formation, and so they sparkle in the light.

I'd also like to point out that we did this entire exercise with helmets and head lamps and ladders and those enormous million candle strength torches that Mulder and Scully carry in the early seasons of The X-Files. The Mayans got up there with nothing but fire on a stick. Can you imagine how terrifying it would be knowing that if you dropped your bit of fire on a stick, it would be instantly pitch black and you'd be totally screwed???? O.o

The next day, we were up bright and early to catch chicken buses to Belize City. Chicken buses are...not even remotely an enjoyable experience. They're retired American school buses, and as such are NOT designed for people over five feet tall. Four years later, my knees STILL haven't recovered... The highlight of the chicken bus to Belize City was a man who vomited all over the floor, tried to cover the evidence by smearing it around with his foot, and then got off the bus at the next stop. And because he did so almost silently, the only people who noticed were me and the man next to him.

We had a whopping half hour to kill in Belize City before getting on a boat to Caye Caulker. The boat ride was dull and Caye Caulker was...disgustingly hot. Many ice creams and cold drinks were consumed, and we had the pleasure(?) of discovering that one of the guys on our trip was terrified of crabs when a rather large one wandered into the bar we were in, and he squealed like a girl and jumped up on his chair, refusing to come down again until the crab was gone.

Okay, fine. The Macra are pretty creepy. But crabs aren't Macra sized! Source

The next day, we headed out on a yacht for a day of snorkelling. The first stop was the Coral Gardens, where I discovered that we were expected to jump off the boat into the water. This was oddly terrifying and it took me a million attempts to get into the water. Shortly after I eventually DID jump off the boat, the captain yelled out that there was a manatee next to the boat.

What I expected:

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What I saw:

Please marvel at my wicked MS Paint skills

So yeah. The manatee was a millionty miles away, and was just a fuzzy grey blob. The second snorkelling spot was Shark and Ray Alley, which pretty much lived up to its name. And finally, we finished up with a trip to Hol Chan Cut, which was a little freaky because the water we had to jump off the boat into was only about six feet deep... O.o But we got to swim with sea turtles - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! So. Much. Awesome.

Sadly, as a result of my anti-malarial tablets, I had the misfortune to come out of the day of snorkelling with a case of sunburn on my back so epic that I still had tan lines six months later. This resulted in much pain and the need to sleep on my stomach for about four days... O.o

Up next, more ruins, and CANCUN!!

K xx

Colorado - the "apparently Bigfoot lives in the Springs" edition

The day after Lyndsy and I went to the baseball, I headed down to Colorado Springs to stay with Megan and David, and do all manner of touristy stuff for a few days. We started out with a wee jaunt to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. It was a pretty miserable day, but that just meant that there was hardly anyone else there! I started off with feeding a giraffe. And it didn't occur to me until the last piece of lettuce that it would be sensible to take a photo of me feeding a giraffe. Oh well. I have this photo that Megan took of me teasing a giraffe with a piece of lettuce. Close enough! 

The bears were hilarious - one was having a health check, and the other was attempting to coerce bits of food out of the keeper by slapping his paws on the surface of the water. Occasionally, the bits of food would go a little too far, and the bear would have to swim a little to find them. That totally freaked out the salmon that were in the water. Understandably... (Apparently the bears aren't particularly good at the fishing thing, and have caught a record FIVE salmon this year!) I think my favourite was when we got to the wallabies. 

Me: Awwww! Aren't you guys cute? And you made delicious food for the early colonists in Tasmania too!

Wallaby: [looks at me] O.O

Don't believe me? Check out this face:

Yeah. He was seriously traumatised by that idea. The weather decreased as the afternoon wore on, and by the time we headed up to the Will Rogers Memorial thingamibob, it was drizzling quite substantially. Which meant that this was our view of the mountains towards Pikes Peak:

Thrilling, no? But it was okay because on our way home, we came across these grazing in someone's front garden, and that totally made up for it:

The next day, we figured we'd take our chances with the weather and head up Pikes Peak. Part of the way up, we came across this sculpture:

I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty sure that's Jesus trying to win the Hairiest Body Builder award... #goingtoHell But according to a nearby sign, it was Bigfoot. By the time we got to the top of the Peak (which is a 19 mile drive), it was completely foggy. But I didn't really care that we couldn't see a thing because SNOW!!!! 

Here's me in the snow:

I think Megan found my level of excitement rather amusing... 

I also ate a cinnamon doughnut that had fudge icing on it. It was amazeballs to the point where I neglected to take a photo of it. And I don't even want to contemplate how many calories were in it, but if I had to guess I'd have to go with A MILLIONTY. And they were totally worth it. 

The view at the top of Pikes Peak prompted the writing of 'America the Beautiful'. Thanks to the fog, this is what we saw from the top. SERIOUSLY. 

When I reviewed my photos, I thought something had gone horribly wrong.
Then I remembered what I'd been taking photos of...

It totally inspires me to write songs! Not. #bringingthatback #channellingChandlerBing

The drive back down featured some awesome views, including this one from the Bottomless Pit:

The next day, we headed up to Seven Falls. As the name might suggest, it's a series of seven waterfalls of all different kinds. The downside? This:

Two hundred and twenty four stairs. I was more than a little glad I'd gone to the pharmacy to get an emergency Ventolin inhaler before I left home! Still, the falls were pretty, and I got to play around with shutter speed. Wheeeeeeeee!!! 

Ahem. We also went to Cave of the Winds. I successfully managed to not brain myself or get stuck in any narrow passageways - yay me! I was rather relieved to not be visiting back in the day when it took six hours to tour the caves, along with commando crawling through a 50cm high passageway... Afterwards, we overheard one of the guides saying in the shop that they'd had a guy on their tour try and take a photo of total cave darkness. With the flash on... #EPICFAIL 

That night, we went out to a steakhouse for dinner. This happened:

Hostess: Have you guys been here before?

David: We have. But she hasn't. She's from out of town. 

Hostess: [disinterested] Oh really? Where are you from?

Me: Australia.

Hostess: OH MY GOSH! I've never met anyone from Australia before!! If you fill in this card, we'll get you a little something on the house!

Me: Um. Okay?

David: Huh. Maybe we should tell her it's your birthday and see if we can get MORE free food!

Bless her, she was so excited about meeting someone from Australia. (And no, it wasn't an Outback Steakhouse.) I was kind of hoping for dessert or mozzerella sticks (they may be terrifyingly bad for you, but my GOD they're delicious). Instead, I got free ribs. Eh #freefoodisfreefood 

Oh, and I nearly forgot! I came across these in Colorado Springs:

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Worst. Ugg boots. EVER... I apologise on behalf of my country for introducing these monstrosities to the world...

Next up: the least reassuring flight attendant announcement ever, and museums and monuments aplenty in Washington DC!

K xx

Picture-palooza

This time three years ago, I was on a plane heading to Peru. That nine weeks in the Americas turned out to be the best and worst of my life. Ness got sick (in a med-evac by the Peruvian Air Force kind of a way) and I got to be grateful that Guatemalan bathrooms are so small that you can (MASSIVE OVERSHARE!) puke into the shower while sitting on the loo. But I got to see some of the most amazing historic sites in the world, and I met people on that trip who've become some of my best friends.

Anyway, seeing as the trip was in my pre-blogging days, I now present the highlights of nine weeks in the Americas!

Arequipa, Peru

En route to Colca Canyon, Peru (complete with alpaca!)

Sunset over Lake Titicaca, Peru

Saqsaywaman, just outside Cusco, Peru

Ollantaytambo, Peru

Inca Trail Day 1, Peru

The best rock on Earth, Inca Trail Day 3, Peru

Inca Trail Day 3, Peru

Machu Picchu, Peru

Group 'Hurrah, We Did It!' photo at Machu Picchu

Machu Picchu from the adjacent mountain, Peru

Standing on the equator, near Quito, Ecuador

Giant tortoises, Santa Cruz, Galapagos Islands

Fur seals on Santiago, Galapagos Islands

Bartolome, Galapagos Islands

Sombrero Chino, Galapagos Islands

Sealions, Sombrero Chino, Galapagos Islands

Frigate Bird, North Seymour, Galapagos Islands

Blue footed booby (snigger), North Seymour, Galapagos Islands

Antigua, Guatemala

Flores, Guatemala

Tikal, Guatemala

Achtun Tunichil Muknal caves, Belize

Chichen Itza, Mexico

Swimming in cenotes near Merida, Mexico

Palenque, Mexico

San Cristobal de las Casas, Mexico

Cramming nine people in a tuktuk, Panajachel, Guatemala. Sara was on the parcel shelf!

Lake Atitlan, Guatemala

Teotihuacan, Mexico

The biggest flag I've ever seen, Mexico City, Mexico

Grand Canyon from a helicopter, USA

The ridiculousness that is The Luxor, Las Vegas, USA

Also, I REALLY wish I could show you the quarantine video that was screened on the way into New Zealand. The woman pulled a massive salami, an entire wheel of cheese and a WHOLE PINEAPPLE OUT OF HER HAND LUGGAGE. It was the greatest thing I've ever seen. Sadly, it doesn't seem to be available online anywhere, so you'll just have to imagine it!

K xx