Eurovision wrap up

Yes, friends, it's that time of year again! I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights live tweeting up a storm. Live blogging on top of that was a little too much to ask, so as with last year you're getting a wrap up post instead.

Sadly, there wasn't a whole lot of crazy this year. There weren't even many songs that stand out as being particularly awful. There WERE a bunch that were just kind of...odd??...so we'll talk about those instead.

MY FAVOURITES

Guy Sebastian - Tonight Again (Australia)

Okay, I'll admit: I'm a little biased here. Yes, Australia (inexplicably) competed for the first time, and I absolutely loved Guy Sebastian's song.

Bojana Stamenov - Beauty Never Lies (Serbia)

This is FREAKING AMAZING. On stage costume changes, a super sparkly Adele-esque lead singer, a catchy tune, and fabulous lyrics. A big fat A+ from me.

Mans Zelmerlow - Heroes (Sweden)

This was the favourite, and there's a good reason why it won: those visuals are STUNNING. I was a little afraid that it wouldn't stand up without the visuals behind it, but I've been pleasantly surprised by how catchy it is with just the audio.

Loic Nottet - Rhythm Inside (Belgium)

In the semi-final, all I could focus on was the over the top lighting and how it feels like it belongs on the Orphan Black soundtrack. But by the time the final rolled around, I was really excited when they turned up on stage.

Nadav Guedj - Golden Boy (Israel)

It pains me to put this on this list. Because let's face it - this song is pretty terrible. But it's a TOTAL earworm that warrants chair dancing whenever you hear it. AND HIS SHOES!!!! What even. Dammit, Israel.

Nina Sublatti - Warrior (Georgia)

If anything at Eurovision screamed "girl power anthem", it's this. Fabulous.

THE ONES THAT ARE GROWING ON ME

Ann Sophie - Black Smoke (Germany)

I didn't love this in performance. But I've listened to it a few times since downloading the album, and I enjoy it more and more each time.

Electro Velvet - Still in Love With You (United Kingdom)

I think when I saw this on TV, I was so ridiculously overwhelmed by the set and the outfits and EVERYTHING LIGHTING UP that I couldn't really pay attention to the song. It's definitely better without the visuals.

Lisa Angell - N'oubliez Pas (France)

SBS added subtitles for the non-English songs, and it meant that I knew just how depressing this song really is. The beige-dressed Les Miserables wanna-bes at the end didn't help. But without the visuals and the subtitles, it's pretty good.

Maraaya - Here For You (Slovenia) 

Another one that suffered from distracting visuals. I mean, her headphones and the interpretive dancer with one leg glued to the floor playing an invisible violin? What the eff. But I think I've listened to it four times today, and it grows on me more each time.

Voltaj - De La Capat (Romania)

So this song is about kids who've been left behind when their parents moved internationally for work. Essentially, it's depression central. But it's a surprisingly good song. And, you know, it helps that it's in Romanian so you have no idea what the words are...

JUST STOP

BOGGIE - Wars for Nothing (Hungary)

Every time I hear this song, it sends me to sleep. Sorry not sorry.

Edurne - Amanecer (Spain)

Look, it's not a terrible song. But the staging just made it hilarious.

Elina Born and Stig Rästa - Goodbye to Yesterday (Estonia)

They stared at each other so intently when they were singing that I can't hear the song without seeing it in my head, and...yeah. Plus, the lyrics are kind of creepy...

Elnur Huseynov - Hour of the Wolf (Azerbaijan)

Dude. No. Ditch the interpretive dancers, and stop singing about wolves, yeah?

Genealogy - Face the Shadow (Armenia)

This whole thing came across as a coven of witches trying to recruit new members.

The Makemakes - I Am Yours (Austria)

WHAT DID THAT PIANO EVER DO TO YOU??? And what the hell is your guitarist wearing ohgod my eyes.

Trijntje Ooserhuis - Walk Along (The Netherlands)

Girl. You are wearing the love child of a bin bag and an academic gown. WHY.

Did you watch Eurovision this year? Who were your favourites?

K xx

I don't think I want to know this creation myth

Previously: We went to Mafra to see the amazing library, Lisbon continued to be pretty, and then I didn't blog about my trip for two months. Whoops. 

Yes, this old chestnut is back. Sure, the last time I blogged about my trip was OCTOBER, but whaaaaaatever. On the plus side for you guys, I've now forgotten a lot of the details of what we did and when, so these posts will probably end up being shorter than if I'd actually blogged during November...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway.

On our third full day in Lisbon, we decided to head out to Sintra, where there's a ton of UNESCO World Heritage Listed sites. It's a 30-45 minute train trip to get out there, which gave C and I a nice chunk of reading time. When we arrived, we jumped on the local tourist bus, which had stops at the major attractions and was super cheap. It started raining really heavily as we wound our way up an enormous hill, so the bus ended up being totally packed. Eventually, we got to the Moorish Castle and hopped off the bus, seeing as hardly anyone else did.

It turned out to not be such a great decision - the fog rolled in pretty quickly, and we couldn't see a bloody thing.

Womp womp.

So we went and had a fairly disgusting lunch of soggy sandwiches from the cafeteria while we waited for the sun to clear. Then we stormed our way to the top of the castle to admire the view, which lasted about five minutes before the fog rolled in again. Still, it was worth it.

That done, we headed back to the bus and caught it up to the VERY top of the hill and the Pena National Palace. (I have no idea what it is about Portugal, but they have like 12,000 national palaces...) Pena is a really pretty building, so I was a little disappointed that big chunks of it were covered in scaffolding. Still, at least we got a good look at this incredibly baffling door frame:

IDEK, you guys.

According to Wikipedia, that's a newt and it represents the creation of the earth. I mostly think it looks like he's constipated...

The interior of the palace was surprisingly...ordinary. There was none of the huge rooms full of elaborate furniture that you come to expect after trips to Versailles and the Schönbrunn. Instead, this was more of a family retreat for the summer months. The ceilings were low, the rooms were mostly on the small side, and the most elaborate things on display were some of the walls and ceilings. There was one ornate receiving room, but on the whole it was a pleasant surprise not to have to walk through a thousand miles of corridors.

Obviously, we still played "Find the ugliest thing in the room", because it makes any visit to a museum, art gallery, or historic house worthwhile.

Our final stop for the day was the Sintra National Palace (which was like a ten minute bus trip from the Pena National Palace. See what I mean?!). The rooms there were more ornate, but as seems to be the way in Portugal, the furniture was fairly plain and basic. The ceilings, however, were a different story, and were utterly amazing:

We also stumbled across this rather bizarre portrait of a cross dressing St. John the Baptist. It was magnificent, and immediately won the ugliest thing in the room prize for all the days ever.

We wandered around the relatively small gardens for a while afterwards, then headed to a restaurant on the square for a well deserved drink. It proved to be something of a tourist trap, because the drinks - while enormous - cost us the better part of FIFTY EUROS. I ordered a lemonade, and was presented with what I'm fairly certain was straight lemon juice with a sugar cube waved over the top...

From there, we caught the train back into Lisbon, and decided to avoid yet another tourist trap experience when it came to dinner. We headed a little way off the beaten track, and found a really nice little restaurant just near the cathedral that had plenty of vegetarian options. I think, from memory, it was called The Little Paris Cafe?? Something like that, at any rate. And the food was really good, so if you're ever in Lisbon, it's worth checking out!

Next up, we head down to Belem in search of monasteries and custard tarts. 

K xx

"Against YA" - the rebuttal

I'm a little late in jumping on the bandwagon on this one because I was at work all day and therefore only had time to catch the occasional glimpse of Twitter. But on Slate today, an article was published stating that "Adults should feel embarrassed about reading literature written for children".

My problem here is not with the sentiment, because everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I totally understand that YA doesn't float everyone's boat. And to clarify: I'm not butthurt about this. I'm really not. I totally get where the author is coming from. But to SHAME people for their reading choices, to effectively argue that anything other than literary fiction isn't worth reading is completely baffling. So there were a bunch of statements in the article that made very little sense to me and that I think warrant addressing in some detail.

Defining YA 
First of all, I think the author's definition of Young Adult ("books written for 12- to 17-year-olds") is flawed. There are many YA books that I wouldn't DREAM of recommending or lending to a kid under the age of sixteen. There are plenty of middle grade books in there to pave the way between children's fiction and full blown YA. The general rule of thumb - at least based on what I was taught in my librarianship course - is that the age of the protagonist in a YA book should give you an indication of the age of the recommended audience.

By that logic - and, indeed, as would have likely been the case during my high school years - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows would have been reserved for upper high school readers instead of being readily given to primary school aged children as it is today. This doesn't make Harry Potter into children's fiction. On the contrary, it means that primary aged children are reading material that they shouldn't be exposed to. That, in many cases, parents have no idea what they're handing their kids. Hell, just this afternoon I was discussing with my boss how she deals with The Hunger Games in a primary school library. There are hundreds of 11 and 12 year olds out there who've read the series and had weeks of nightmares as a result. But because the movie is seen in a "it has teenaged protagonists, therefore must be for children", these kids are being exposed to it far too early.

"These are the books that could plausibly be said to be replacing literary fiction in the lives of their adult readers. And that’s a shame."

Source

Um. What's to say that these adults would have been reading "literary fiction" in the first place? Who's to say they don't STILL read literary fiction? I mean, I read YA. But I also read general fiction and literary fiction and sci-fi and fantasy and adventure and fanfic and crime and paranormal fiction. Who's to say which of those is the most significant, let alone which of those has the biggest impact in my life?

Furthermore, how is literary fiction defined? Both Book Depository and Bookworld lump it in with general fiction, while Dymocks features YA books such as The Book Thief in its literary fiction category. Hell, if you look up General and Literary Fiction on Bookworld, one of the first things under best sellers is Divergent, which the author dismisses as "transparently trashy". Clearly, literary fiction is itself problematic and sometimes aimed at teenage readers.

"...my own life as a YA reader way back in the early 1990s was hardly wanting for either satisfaction or sophistication."
The author references Tuck Everlasting and The Westing Game as influential books during her teen years, while failing to mention that both of those books were first published in the 1970s and are generally considered middle grade books. YA during the 1990s existed largely in fantasy form, at least in my experience. Australian YA was a little better off, thanks largely to authors like John Marsden, Catherine Jinks, and Melina Marchetta. And all of those books stand up very nicely on reread.

"I thought, Hmm, that’s a nicely written book for 13-year-olds."

Source

Uh, yeah, I would NOT give The Fault in Our Stars to a thirteen year old. I'm sure many a thirteen year old has read it, but that doesn't mean they should have. And there are many books that fall into this category. Code Name Verity is repeatedly classified as a YA book, but I'm not convinced that the story is suitable for anyone under 17.

The author goes on to say that she had numerous "Oh, brother" moments while reading TFiOS. I'm sure many teenagers did too. There were certain moments that were overdone and a little weird, like Hazel telling 911 that "the great love of my life has a malfunctioning G-tube" (p. 245) , which is something that would be said by NO ONE EVER. Saying "oh brother" to those moments doesn't make you an adult. It makes you a critical reader.

"Most importantly, these books consistently indulge in the kind of endings that teenagers want to see, but which adult readers ought to reject as far too simple. YA endings are uniformly satisfying, whether that satisfaction comes through weeping or cheering."

Source

Okay, did you actually read The Fault in Our Stars? I'm not sure anyone who has could say that ending was "uniformly satisfying". The same goes for Eleanor & Park, of which she's equally dismissive. I'm also not convinced you could say that the "transparently trashy" Divergent trilogy could be considered in any way to have a uniformly satisfying ending. The same goes for The Hunger Games. Yes (SPOILERS), Katniss marries Peeta. But they effectively brought down one corrupt and broken government only to find it immediately replaced by other, and they both spend their lives physically and emotionally traumatised by what they went through.

Furthermore, since when are the endings of adult books NOT of the neat package variety? I've read more adult books - whether they be crime, fantasy, literature, science fiction, or general fiction - that had neatly tied up happily-ever-after endings than I have YA books. Look at the literary greats - Austen, Gaskell, Dickens, and Bronte all had a tendency to tie up all the loose ends and provide their characters with their appropriate endings - happiness and true love for the heroes, death or general misery for the villains.

"The heroine of The Fault in Our Stars finds messy, unresolved stories unacceptably annoying."
I wouldn't say anything of the sort about Hazel. Yes, her favourite book ends in mid-sentence and she wants to know what happens next. That doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate the ending. I, for instance, wanted to know what happened next in a large number of books, whether they had ambiguous endings or neatly tied up ones. It doesn't mean that I find the endings annoying or unacceptable. It's just the nature of human curiosity.

"But I remember, when I was a young adult, being desperate to earn my way into the adult stacks..."
Yep, I remember that feeling too. But it wasn't because young adult books weren't fulfilling my needs. It was because young adults books effectively DIDN'T EXIST once you'd gotten beyond the Judy Blume years. There was a void between middle grade fiction and adult fiction, and very few books to fill it. Perhaps this was why I clung so tightly to John Marsden and Melina Marchetta when I stumbled upon them - they gave me stories about people my age, people who lived in the real world, who didn't wear armour or fight off dragons. People who I could relate to, with their problems about school and their family dramas and their potentially problematic friendships. But this doesn't mean that I turned away from adult fiction. Hell, I read A Tale of Two Cities when I was ten, for crying out loud. It just means that I could appreciate the benefits of both types of literature.

"But the YA and “new adult” boom may mean fewer teens aspire to grown-up reading, because the grown-ups they know are reading their books."

Source

Um. Have you ever actually met a teenager?? If there's one thing guaranteed to get them not doing a thing, it's the knowledge that grown-ups are doing exactly that. Adults start using Facebook? GET ME AWAY FROM IT. My mum thinks this is cool? EW, GROSS I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. If anything, teenagers are more likely to stop reading YA and start pushing on to the next thing if only because they don't want to be associated with what their parents are reading. Furthermore, teens are regularly reading what the author terms "grown-up reading" courtesy of...oh, I don't know...HIGH SCHOOL.

"But don’t take my word for it. Listen to Shailene Woodley, the 22-year-old star of this weekend’s big YA-based film."
I'm going to go ahead and call the quote that was used in the article as - to quote an episode of Buffy - a radical interpretation of the text. If you look at the original interview with Woodley, what I suspect she was actually saying was that, at the age of 22, she feels she's too old to play a teenager. It's no different to Daniel Radcliffe making his mark by moving from Harry Potter to roles that featured him kissing men and appearing naked on stage. It doesn't mean that he eschews all things YA. It just means that he - and likely Woodley - don't want to end up as actors who are in their late 20s and still playing teenagers. Just look at Bianca Lawson - she was still playing 17 year olds at the age of 34.

In summary
Yes, there are a lot of adults reading YA today, where ten or twenty years ago it would have been unheard of. But to assume that these adults are EXCLUSIVELY reading YA is incredibly narrow-minded. As is the assumption that literary fiction is automatically superior to YA. There's an awful lot of pretentious, wanky literary fiction out there, just as there's a lot of cookie-cutter same same but different happily-ever-after literary fiction on the market. On the other hand, there's a lot of YA that's beautifully written and multi-award winning, and it shouldn't be discounted just because the protagonist doesn't have a wealth of maturity under their belt.

It seems that what the author is essentially saying is "I'm an adult and I don't like YA, so no other adult should like it either". But to put one genre of fiction up on a pedestal while arguing that another should be ignored completely once you reach a certain and completely arbitrary age is nothing short of baffling.

Have you read the article? What did you think? 

K xx

Two years worth of randomness

I got a new phone over the weekend (fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally!), and it wasn't until I opened the picture gallery and the text message inbox to find them both empty that I realised how weird it is that we effectively lose two years of our lives every time we get a new phone. Okay, so I didn't really LOSE the photos, because my camera was automatically synced to Dropbox. But there were some quality text message conversations in there that are now effectively gone forever. Womp womp.

Incidentally, this happened while I was getting my new phone: the girl who was helping me was all "Okay, so do you want Endless Talk or Endless Text on your new plan?" And as she was talking, she brought up the details of my existing plan and was like "Oh. You've made like ten phone calls this year. Endless Text it is!" YUP. There's a reason why I have an "I'm allergic to the phone" tag.

Anyway, in honour of my long suffering Samsung Galaxy S2, here are some of the incredibly random pictures that I now have floating around in Dropbox!

Apparently eight year old me struggled with the spelling of cooperation...

My bread had a face:

The eggs had a face:

Found at Target in Washington DC and immediately sent to Kim:

GIANT FORK OH MY GOD:

I still have no idea what the hell this postmark was, but it looks a lot like a ghost flying at me. Thanks, New Zealand:

I'm pretty sure this is the worst idea of ever:

I found Heaven. It's at Officeworks:

Yes, that's a Marvel onesie. Once again, sent to Kim:

Little Miss A decided she wanted to be Ned Kelly for a dress-up day at school. So we made her a costume:

Little Miss A was very unimpressed with my sneaky Battleship playing tactics and didn't understand how she hadn't sunk anything:

Yes, I own a Ghostface mask. And yes, a certain eight year old took it upon herself to model it on Halloween:

Nothing says "Happy Valentine's Day" quite like a little girl with murder in her heart:

MARVEL DUVET COVER OMG. Once again, sent to Kim:

Pirate Easter bunnies. On a supermarket shelf, not in an oven:

Limited edition flour is a thing?!?!:

I ordered a spinach, tomato and feta pizza on Saturday night. It was NOT what I was anticipating...

Please tell me that your phones hold an equally random collection of nonsense photos??

K xx

Eurovision wrap up

Yes, I know it's Monday and I should be talking about movies. But Honey Badger don't care because I had three days of back-to-back Eurovision awesomeness over the weekend, and I feel the need to talk about it.

Unlike 2012 and 2013, blogging AND tweeting all three nights seemed far too much like hard work. Tweeting won out. And now that it's all over, it seems like far too much hard work to recap every single act from the three nights. So instead? I'll just give you my favourites and my "WTF EVEN IS THIS??" picks, in no particular order because ranking things is hard.

FAVOURITES

Austria

There's a reason why Conchita Wurst won. I wasn't sure about the song when she performed at the semi-final, but it turns out it's a total earworm and I've been singing it ever since. Clearly, the crowd felt the same because at the final, you could hear the crowd singing along with her during the chorus. I really want it to be the theme song for the next James Bond movie.

Portugal

They didn't make the final, sadly, but this is pretty much everything you could want from Eurovision - cracked out insanity, that element of I-have-no-idea-what's-going-on thanks to it not being in English, sparkly costumes, ridiculous dance moves, and a catchy tune.

Malta

Look, they're basically the Maltese version of Mumford and Sons, but there's a reason why Mumford and Sons are so popular. This may rapidly turn into an emergency dance party song.

Switzerland

This dude wins the prize for staring down the camera while singing. No matter which camera they used at the final, he was all over it. Plus, it's hella catchy.

Finland

Sure, they're all about twelve years old but this one is just so catchy that I suspect it will be on high rotation for quite a while.

Iceland

The Wiggles meet Eurovision! The dancing is particularly fabulous.

Ukraine

As if I could pass up a back up performer who's basically rolling around in a giant hamster wheel.

Montenegro

I have no idea what the song is about, but I was on board the instant I saw that girl on rollerblades in the background. Who knew you could make it look that much like ice skating?!?!? INSANITY.

WTF EVEN IS THIS??

France

There's a reason why you ended up with a mere two points, France. And their dancing reminded me a lot of Pop! from Music and Lyrics.

Hungary

Oooof. This is on the WTF list for a completely different reason to most. The song is really catchy, and the performance by the back up dancers is amazing. But who goes to Eurovision with a song about child abuse and domestic violence?!?!?!!? O.o

Romania

A fake circular piano??? I can't even. Add in the fact that the guy reminds me a lot of Jon Lovitz - who creeps me out - and the fact that the girl is doing some weird crossover arm nonsense and I came out of this one very confused.

Russia

How on earth did they get on stage with their ponytails joined together like that??? The presence of non-Jedward twins = NOPE.

Italy

I don't even remember what the song was like. I was too busy being concerned about my burnt out retinas. Add in an awkward shot of her groin, a keytar, and a really pitchy opening and I was solidly on the nope train.

Poland

Sweet mother of Jeebus, Poland. There are children watching this show.

Georgia

I have literally no idea what in the sodding hell was going on here. If you'd told me they'd been rescued from a commune outside San Francisco, I would honestly not be surprised.

Moldova

I actually loved this one when it aired, but the more I think about it, the more insane it is. It's clearly influenced by Game of Thrones. But why on earth does she rip her hair off???

So there you have it. Another year of Eurovision over. And we're heading to Austria next year!

Did you watch Eurovision this year? Who were your favourites and who was on the top of your WTF list?

K xx

What.

I had plans to write a proper post today, but I spent two hours this afternoon cleaning tape residue off book shelves at work using nothing more than eucalyptus oil and paper towels. As a result, I smell like a eucalypt forest, I have a terrible headache, and my brain has melted into a puddle.

So instead, I shall present you with this, which I discovered while putting out the new books display at work today:

Yes, that's what you think it is.

And yes, it's 100% as cracked out as you would expect.

It is MAGICAL. And I kind of wish I could be a fly on the wall when various small children take it home and insist on it being their bedtime story non-stop for the next two weeks... I also wish that Norway would make Ylvis their contestant for Eurovision. Because that would be BRILLIANT.

What's the weirdest thing you've seen today?

K xx

A most unfortunate curse

So Kat mentioned in the comments of my last post something that I'd completely forgotten about - that Bethells Beach wasn't quite as close to deserted as we would have liked, in that there was a man quite a distance down the beach wandering around on his own who proved, upon closer (but not too close) examination to be rather elderly and completely naked.

And this, in turn, reminded me of another incident - New Year's Eve two years ago. In case you weren't around in those days and/or are too lazy to click on that link, I'll recap. I went to Fairhaven with my brother and a bunch of his mates. We decided that we'd wander down to the beach for actual midnight, and watch the fireworks display from Lorne across the water.

Somehow, we ended up with a crapton of glowsticks and sparklers, and so were playing around with those as 2012 commenced. Shortly thereafter, an incredibly drunk and incredibly naked New Zealander staggered up out of the surf. Someone informed this random dude that he should be carrying a glowstick so that we knew where he was, and didn't have to see his junk. Upon which he grabbed a glowstick from someone, shoved it between his butt cheeks, and ran off down the beach.

He then bent down to pick up his clothes, causing the glowstick to fall out from between his butt cheeks. So he kindly picked it up and threw it back to us. You've never seen a group of people scatter so quickly as when the butt germs glowstick fell towards us.

ANYWAY. Apparently that incident served as a precedent, and now I'm cursed to see naked New Zealanders every time I go to the beach. Because I'm about 99% sure I didn't go to the beach at all in between those two random-naked-New-Zealander events. And there was a small naked child running around during the five minutes Kim and I spent at the beach while I was in Wellington.

At least now I have a good excuse not to go to the beach?? "Oh, I can't, sorry. I'm cursed, you see. If I go with you, a naked New Zealander will appear and everything will get slightly weird..."

Are you randomly cursed in any way?

K xx

Movie Monday: AFI 100 Years 100 Films Edition, Take 2

So I ran out of time to watch a movie this weekend, thank to marathoning my way through several discs of Supernatural season 8, hanging out with Little Miss A, and attending a concert last night that I'll discuss in more detail later in the week. So I figured that I'd update you on my thoughts about the next ten movies that I've crossed off the AFI's 100 Years 100 Films list in the past six weeks or so.

#4 - Raging Bull
I'm not really a big fan of boxing, and pretty much all I learnt from watching this movie is that boxers (or at least Jake la Motta) are kind of epic douchebags. Robert de Niro was pretty damned convincing in the role though.

#8 - Schindler's List

Source

OH MY GOD, THIS WAS BRUTAL. I ugly cried non-stop for at least the last half hour of the movie. And ugly cried to the point where I was a giant mess of snot and tears and grossness because the tissues were on the other side of the room, and I didn't want to take my eyes off the screen.

#12 - The Searchers
Westerns aren't really my thing, so it's probably not a huge surprise that I didn't really enjoy this movie. It was okay, I guess, but pretty dated. Like, "we cast a German guy as the Native American chief" kind of dated...

#15 - 2001: A Space Odyssey

WTF. Also, source.

What in the actual fuck did I just watch??? I seriously have no idea what that was. Literally nothing happened until the 90 minute mark, and the remaining million hours of the film made precisely zero sense... Then again, I've yet to find a Kubrick movie that I actually really liked, and space movies aren't really my thing, so it's probably not a surprise that I didn't enjoy it.

#18 - The General
Surprisingly enjoyable, if more than a little ridiculous. It was my first experience with a silent movie, so I spent a good chunk of it feeling like it was insanely overacted. But at times, it was completely and utterly hilarious and I was in fits of hysterics on the floor over it.

#36 - The Bridge on the River Kwai

Source

Really really long, but really fabulous. Alec Guinness was phenomenal. And I spent a decent chunk of time screaming at the television in the last 15 minutes or so.

#43 - Midnight Cowboy
Oh, goodness. I don't know what I was expecting from this, but it CERTAINLY wasn't Jon Voight playing a male prostitute and hanging out with a seriously squirrelly Dustin Hoffman. The whole thing was kind of bizarre, to be honest.

#46 - It Happened One Night

Source

Kind of great, although the female lead had completely INSANE eyebrows, and Clark Gable was sort of an asshat. Albeit kind of a dreamy one.

#47 - A Streetcar Named Desire
I'm not entirely sure how I was supposed to feel about this. I hated every single character with a fiery passion, and the plot was pretty bonkers. On the plus side, Marlon Brando had some fabulous biceps...

#48 - Rear Window

Source

Sheer perfection from start to finish. And if someone wants to bring me Grace Kelly's entire wardrobe, that'd be fabulous.

#71 - Saving Private Ryan
The opening nearly killed me. It was indescribably brutal, and deserved all its Oscars, and I totally cried like a baby at the end.

So there you have it. 42 down, 58 to go...

Do you agree with my assessments? Disagree? Which ones? And why?

K xx

Pasta wars

There was a little gem in the papers today that you may or may not have seen - the chairman of Barilla has announced that his company will never feature same sex families in their advertisements, because he sees his company's audience as "a classic family". When questioned on potential backlash, his response was that "If gay people disagree, they can always eat pasta of other producers." (Quotes from the article linked above) Obviously, there's been backlash and calls for boycotts all over the place, and the US branch of the company has been forced to distance itself from its Italian parent.

Now, the problem I have with this - beyond the bleeding obvious - is the idea of the "classic family". Many of Barilla's adverts, even in Australia, feature a woman serving pasta to her husband and children, all of whom are usually white. Which is all well and good, but in saying that their audience is "a classic family" and in advertising their products in that way, the company are automatically discounting not only same sex couples, but all of the following:

• Childless couples.
• PoC families.
• Mixed race families.
• Widows/widowers and their children.
• A married couple, their teenaged children from previous marriages, and their young child.
• Grandparents and the grandchildren they take care of while their parent/s are working late.
• Divorcees and their families.
• Families with adopted children, especially those who have adopted children from overseas or from outside their ethnic background.
• Families with foster children.
• Extended families living under one roof. 
• De facto couples and their kids.
• People with guardianship of their younger siblings or nieces/nephews or dead friend's children.
• Single people.
• My own family, because my mum works, and my dad's retired and does almost all the cooking.
• A million other permutations that I can't think of right now. 

By saying that they only cater to the traditional family, Barilla are cutting off huge swathes of modern society in favour of a 1950s ideal that's increasingly rare. 

And don't even get me started on the "same sex couples with families are destroying society" bullshit. Please, explain to me, if you can, how this is destroying society.......

Source

.......but it's perfectly acceptable for Britney Spears to be married for fifty five hours without being told that she's destroying society? I would take one same sex couple and the children they've fought tooth and nail to have over a million couples who drunkenly decided to get married in Vegas and then stayed together when they found themselves pregnant a month later. I don't know about you, but I would rather live in a world where every child is wanted and loved than a world where a chunk of the population is miserable because they can't have kids while another is miserable because they have more kids than they want. 

And let's just stop for a second to appreciate the ironic fact that Barilla make a millionty different types of pasta, but can't appreciate diversity. As Deidre's husband, Inspector Climate, said this afternoon "Do they only make spaghetti?? You know, straight pasta?!"

If I worked for one of Barilla's rival pasta manufacturers, I would be instantly springing into action with a brand new marketing campaign. A campaign that featured a street party. A party in which families of all ethnicities and genders and relationship statuses and age brackets and employment statuses and levels of blood relationship have come together to eat and talk and laugh over giant bowls of pasta. A campaign, in short, that shows Barilla everything they're missing out on.* 

Something like this, only less 1970s. Also, source.

Because at the end of the day? Family doesn't always mean what you're born into, family doesn't stop with blood. It's about the people you love and who love you back, no matter what. And a company that recognised that, rather than some antiquated ideal? That's a company I'd want to support. 

What do you think?

K xx

*Dear pasta companies who aren't Barilla: please feel free to use my genius idea for your marketing campaigns in exchange for a small pot of money. Kthxbai.

I would make a truly terrible spy. Just like Sydney Bristow

Remember last year when I rewatched Dawson's Creek and Had A Lot Of Feelings About It? And then when I rewatched The X-Files and Had A Lot Of Feelings About It? Well, over the past six months or so, I've been rewatching Alias and Having A Lot Of Feelings About It. And the other day, I finally finished season 5. Which was interesting, because I'm pretty sure that - much like Dawson's Creek and The X-Files - I never actually saw the final season. WEIRD. 

I'm gonna go ahead and warn you guys now, a lot of my thoughts boiled down to "Oh my God, this person who I know from this other show is in Alias and now my brain hurts". 

Season 1

Oh my God, Will's hair. Also, source.

• Bradley Cooper!! What is your hair, sir??
• Huh. They're really starting the Milo Rambaldi thing early. I didn't remember that.
• Gina Torres!!!!! This is made of awesome.
• OMG, throwing the bad guys' bomb ONTO THEIR CAR???? Brilliant!
• Is that...JOHN HANNAH??? IT IS!!!!
• Security guards in England with guns? Uh, no.
• Sending secret KGB codes in first edition books makes me suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper twitchy and NO CAN'T DO THAT WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
• QUENTIN TARANTINO IS IN ALIAS. WTF. WHY IS QUENTIN TARANTINO IN ALIAS????
• "Do you really want some space, or are you and I going to get drunk?"
• There is an AWFUL lot of touching between Syd and Vaughn. If it weren't for all the secret agent business, I'd call #secretsexytimes.
• Sark!! Although I swear to God when he introduced himself I thought he said "My name is Mr Sock".
• Sydney Bristow: worst. spy. ever.
• OMG. Professor Walsh from Buffy is investigating Sydney in regards to fringe science. LOL.
• And now John Locke from Lost is in charge of a tribunal to assess Syd.
• Oh, random uni friend guy. Why did you have to make Syd love you and then turn out to be a dick, all in the space of two episodes?!
• Why is Bali so orange???
• Ahahahaha, she's singing on top of a piano in a French bar. WTF.
• SARK JUST SHOT WILL OMG WTF IS HAPPENING.
• Oh. Now Will's being tortured by the crazy Chinese dude from the pilot?
• Really? The ONLY security for a secret underground pharmaceuticals lab is a cheap padlock on the door??
• Syd spends a lot of time bashing things with fire extinguishers...

Season 2

Source

• Syd and Vaughn just need to face nom already. Like, seriously. 
• I love Lena Olin. You know, at this stage.
• Noooooooooooooo, Will. Don't develop feels for Syd!
• Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuw, Shirtless Sloane. *GAG*
• They just used Seattle Grace as a Swiss hospital. LOL.
• OMFG. Syd as a geisha is hilarious.
• "Blood coagulation tests are not 100% accurate." "Yes, but they are reliable." Uh. Whut.
• BAHAHAHAHAHA - this episode stars Ranjeet AND Principal Figgins. AMAZING.
• Faye Dunaway is in this? Why the hell is Faye Dunaway in this?
• FAKE FRANCIE WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE NO MEMORY OF THIS OMFG.
• Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay SYD AND VAUGHN!!!
• Ethan Hawke?!?!?!?!?!?!?
• And now Christian Slater? What is with the guest stars in this program?!
• Syd is literally the worst spy ever. She just rescued some woman, and not only told her that she was CIA, but gave said woman her full name.
• Syd and Vaughn on an ice hockey date is adorable.
• "I love my drawer". Quit being so damned cute, Vaughn. I can't cope.
• Syd is currently wearing wrapping paper as a skirt. I can't even.
• Well. This whole Will and Francie thing has gone somewhere I wasn't expecting...
• Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. I HATE when shows do a time jump.

Season 3

This is the most awkward group photo ever. Also, source.

• OMG. Zachariah from Supernatural!!
• Will's in Witness Protection? Well, that spoils all the fun!
• I'm not buying this Rambaldi "peace" message thing.
• LOL. Jack types in all caps.
• Vaughn is married to Melissa George?! Ugh.
• Ahahaha, Pete from 30 Rock is playing some kind of criminal.
• Fake Francie is not dead and has hilarious hair.
• OMFG, MARSHALL'S DRUMMING PROPOSAL AND VAUGHN'S REACTION TO IT. Hilarious perfection. 
• Urgh. A bug eaten hand in a box. GROSS.
• SYDNEY BRISTOW. DO NOT HAVE DRUNK SEX WITH WILL TIPPIN. Oh dear. Too late.
• THE MUMMY!!!! Man, pretty much everyone ever has guest starred in this show.
• Marshall just said "Five by five". Awesome.
• Lauren is an evil skank.
• RICKY GERVAIS?? AS AN IRA BOMB MAKER. OMFG.
• KATE BECKETT IS A STEWARDESS WHUT.
• Revenge-y Vaughn is revenge-y.
• Ew. Jack is macking on his wife's sister.

Season 4

How are those matching suit tops on Syd and Nadia?? Also, source.

• CHUCK FROM SUPERNATURAL OMFG
• Wait, we've relocated the entire show to Washington???
• I do not approve of this. At all.
• Wait. And now they're back in LA again? WTF.
• I can't work out whether Vaughn is trying to be Australian, English or South African. It's kind of hilarious.
• GABRIEL FROM SUPERNATURAL WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OMFG. Aaaaand he just fell apart into chunks. WHAT.
• Kelly MacDonald is in this episode what is happening oh my God I can't even.
• Balthazar from Supernatural. Jesus, why not just cast Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles and be done with it?!
• Jason Segel OMFG. With a manky one sided goatee. Ahahahaha. 
• Ew ew ew ew ew Marshall just had to scoop out some guy's eyeballs with a spork. NOPE.
• ETHAN RAYNE FROM BUFFY. Is melting people's faces off. Whut.
• Vaughn's phone records indicate that he "sent you an SM message". HAHAHAHAHA. WHUT.
• JOEL GREY WHAT IS HAPPENING OMG.
• When the hell did Nadia and Eric go from flirting to dating? Because I'm not sure there was ever actually a point where they started dating... There was just a lot of flirtation and then suddenly he was her boyfriend.
• There is a horse wandering through the middle of the city. Whut.
• Did Nadia just get eaten by zombie people?!?!?!?!?!
• Oh. Not eaten by zombie people. Kidnapped by her psychotic aunt instead. And then turned INTO a zombie person. Womp womp.
• If a giant wall of water is coming at you, why would you STOP RUNNING to check if the doors were going to hold?!
• WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK JUST HAPPENED OMFG I CAN'T EVEN.

Season 5

Really, Syd? A whole year and you haven't bought a new suit? Source

• I have no idea what the hell is happening. Like, seriously. 
• Also, Vaughn pretending to be South African is buckets of hilar.
• THEY DID NOT JUST KILL VAUGHN WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK *HULK SMASH*
• It pisses me off that Weiss and Syd are all "Nadia who?" about everything.
• Amy Acker whuuuuut. And she's evil. Of course.
• I'm not loving this season. The whole "Sloane is evil" thing AGAIN? I mean, come on.
• Seriously, does every single person who joins the team move in with Syd??
• I think Tom is trying to be Australian and is failing terribly. Vaughn's South African accent was better than this.
• "I'm going to be a grandfather. A very YOUNG grandfather." LOL, OKAY JACK.
• SARK. WHUT. Oh God. Do NOT have Rachael hook up with Sark. Oh jeez. Too late. 
• Ahahahahaha, Rachael's "OH SHIT" face is priceless.
• Syd's not a fan of pain? Hahaha, whut.
• Jack just cut off someone's ear. Ew.
• Syd's parents just delivered her baby. That's kinda gross.
• VAUGHN IS ALIVE WHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT.
• WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL!!!!!!
• Syd's in a tank top and mini skirt on a mission four weeks after giving birth? I call epic bullshit.
• HOLY SHIT SLOANE JUST THREW NADIA THROUGH A TABLE AND KILLED HER.
• Aaaaand now Renee's dead too. What the hell, episode???
• Oh good. Sloane's hallucinating dead people. That's bound to end well...
• They killed Tom too?? Jesus, how many people are going to die this season??
• Awwwww, Francie flashback. I'm glad they found a way to include her in the final season!
• Sark's irritation at being shot is hilarious.
• I'm sad that they didn't bring Weiss back for the finale, but on the whole the ending could have been worse. Somehow. 

And there we have it. So, questions:

1. Did you watch Alias back in the day? 

2. If so, what did you think of the final season? Because I wasn't a fan.

3. Is Sydney Bristow the worst spy ever?

3b. How on earth does she ever get anything done considering she must live in a permanent state of jetlag??

Please help me to understand. 

K xx

Sadly lacking in Timbits

On Friday night, I went to a rather unusual event. Well, unusual for Melbourne at any rate. Australia's not really big with the winter sports, on account of a freezing cold day = 12 degrees C, which isn't exactly conducive to ice and snow. You know? So when I saw that there was going to be an exhibition ice hockey match between Canada and the USA, I jumped at the chance to go.

While it may have been a good 20+ years since I lived in Canada, this doesn't mean that I won't cheer for them when given the opportunity. Apparently the rest of Melbourne felt the same way. Because when the US team skated out, there was a smattering of polite applause and then some awkward silence. When the Canadians appeared? The roof practically lifted off the stadium.

Then they had some "promising local talent" come out to sing the two national anthems. She was not only flat, but forgot the words to both of them and kind of made things up that were vaguely right but not really to fill in the gaps until she worked it out. So that was cringe worthy fun... Thankfully, they shooed her off the ice and got down to business pretty quickly.

There were fireworks and staged fights and mostly I ended up being insanely impressed at how quickly the umpires were able to get out of the way of the puck and/or large men in tons of protective gear that were hurtling towards them.

At the end of the first period, Canada were ahead by a good four goals and things were looking good. Then they brought out the most ridiculous piece of equipment in creation. No, it wasn't a Zamboni. Apparently they didn't think it warranted finding one for a whole two nights of professional level ice hockey. Instead, a bunch of guys came out with ice scrapers, and skated around sweeping the ice for about ten minutes. Then they brought out some kind of golf cart looking contraption with a water tank on the back of it. Said water tank was connected by hoses to a bunch of (what appeared to be) towels, and they drove around the rink using the wet towels to smooth the surface of the ice.

It was probably the least effective method they could have found. And, considering it was like 23 degrees in the stadium (at least up where we were sitting!), play had to be delayed until the slightly ridiculous quantities of water they put down had frozen.

The US made a comeback during the second period, and the commentators interviewed an AFL player and asked well thought out questions like "What do you see as a the major differences between AFL and ice hockey?". The entire stadium did a confused dog head tilt at that, because:
1. One takes place on grass, the other on ice.
2. One involves kicking an oval shaped ball, the other hitting a puck with sticks.
3. One requires tiny shorts and a sleeveless jumper, the other 10 kilos of protective padding and a pair of metal blades strapped to your feet.

One might, in fact, say that the only similarities between the two sports is that they're played in winter and are fast moving...

During the second break, they claimed to have a special prize to award and called out a couple of seat numbers. Except it turned out to be less special prize and more "unexpected proposal", which ended up being insanely awkward because she a) nearly fell over on the ice in her heels, and b) didn't respond for a good three minutes. Nothing says romance like proposing in front of 10,000 complete strangers!! O.o

Then a bunch of very tiny children in very long hockey jerseys came out and skated around at top speed. And then they got to meet all the players, which was pretty adorable.

The third period ended up being the most exciting, because it ended up being a really close match, and it was only the last ten minutes or so where they were actually playing at their full capability. I'm not sure whether it was the ice or whether they'd been told to take things slow for the dumb Australians who aren't used to ice hockey, but I rather wish the rest of the game had been played with the same speed and skill.

As it was, Canada emerged victorious through some great work on the part of the goalie, and through a wonky power play by the US which saw them replace their goalie with an attacker, leaving Canada one player down but with an open goal to shoot at.

And then they made it snow in the arena. Because obviously...

On the whole, it was an excellent evening. I got to sing O Canada at the top of my lungs, boo a Collingwood player, and watch some pretty excellent sport. Now if only they'd had Timbits for sale, it would have been perfect... *sigh*

Have you been to see any unfamiliar sports? Did you have even the faintest idea what was going on? Because I sure didn't...

K xx