Another year over. What?!

I honestly can't even begin to process the fact that it's the 31st of December already. RIDICULOUS. Anyway, instead of doing my usual year in review post with a million links to a million posts that no one will actually bother to click through to, I figured that I'd do this year's wrap up in vlog form.


Happy New Year, y'all. I'll catch you in 2014!!

K xx

Biscuits and burgers

Oh, hey. Bet you thought I'd forgotten about this, didn't you? But NO. I was just slacking busy okay fine, slacking. That's right, kids. It's finally time for the very last installment of "Kirsti tells you about her trip to America which happened six months ago"! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Previously, Gina and I went hot air ballooning and got judgey looks from a bunch of old people.

My flight out of Phoenix wasn't until 3.30 in the afternoon, so the morning was taken up with packing, eating tres leches cake, and concerned questions from Gina's kids about what things I would be putting in my suitcase. Example:

Kid #2: Are you going to take the balloons???
Me: No, kiddo. They wouldn't fit in my suitcase, for starters!
Kid #2: You can't take the balloons.
Me: They're your balloons, I'm not going to take them.
Kid #2: *suspicious look*

He checked on me at least three times to make sure I hadn't packed the balloons.

As it got closer to lunchtime, Gina decided it was a travesty that I'd never had biscuits in all the times I've visited the US, and decided that Red Lobster was the best way to fix the problem. But we weren't sure how they'd feel about us rocking up and being all "Hey, can we get a serve of biscuits and literally nothing else? And can we get that to take away?", on account of how the biscuits are usually free. So we phoned them. And they were a little confused at first, but apparently it was a slow day and it kept them busy for ten minutes, so they were all "Sure, whatever!".

And so we loaded the kids into the car and drove half way across Phoenix to get biscuits. They were pretty damned great.

Mmm, biscuits. Also, source.

From there, we headed to the airport where I bid a sad farewell to Gina, checked in without issue, and then spent the time until my flight perusing various bookstores. The flight to Los Angeles was pretty painless, and I took advantage of having a millionty hours to kill by walking from Terminal 6 to Terminal 3. Check in went smoothly, and I procured an aisle seat without any problems.

Then I sat outside and played Spot the American Who's Flying to Australia and Doesn't Know About Our Hand Luggage Limits while I waited for Sweeney. Fun fact? The longer you spend away from Australia, the more bogan the Australian accent sounds. After a month in the US, every single Aussie that walked past sounded like they'd just stepped off the set of Crocodile Dundee.

Luckily, Sweeney turned up before I went completely insane, and we headed off for dinner.

Sweeney: So when was the last time you saw anything other than the airport in Los Angeles?
Me: 1989? 1990? One of those.
Sweeney: Holy shit. Okay. I'm starving, so we're going to eat at In-n-Out Burger, and then I'm taking you to Santa Monica.

And that's what we did. Plus, you know, a good hour or so in LA traffic jams, because no visit to Los Angeles is complete without being stuck in traffic for a millionty years!

If In-n-Out could bring their shakes to Australia, that'd be great.

After dinner, we drove down to Santa Monica and wandered along the pier, catching up on all manner of things, planning all the plans, and adding yet more things to the "Someday, we should cover that on Snark Squad" list, otherwise known as the Spreadsheet of Dreams.

I neglected to take any proper photos on account of we were too busy catching up, but I was highly amused by the police ute at the end of the pier that had a surf board strapped to the roof. You know, for all those times when you have to chase a criminal down while catching a wave...

I didn't want to use the flash in case I got arrested...

Alas, all too quickly it was time to head back to the airport, but I'm eternally grateful to Sweeney for driving across LA in crazy traffic to save me from spending six hours at LAX on my own. I MISS YOUR FACE, SWEENS. COME VISIT ME <3

Luckily for all concerned, my flight home was rather less eventful than last time. The plane was nowhere near full, the food didn't suck, and I got about seven hours of sleep. And from a 14.5 hour flight, that's about all you can ask, really!

K xx

Judgey McJudgerson and the early morning adventure

Previously: the bestest girls' night of EVER. You should be jealous you weren't there. Seriously. It was THAT good.

The following morning, Gina and I were up at stupid o'clock. Actually, I think it was WORSE than stupid o'clock. It was stupid o'clock's older brother, Oh God Why Did We Think This Was A Good Idea O'Clock.  Seeing as how it's now the better part of five months later, I can't remember exactly what time we had to get up. But it started with a 5. *shudder*

At OGWDWTTWAGI O'Clock plus 20 minutes, we not only had ourselves up, dressed and in the car, but also all three of Gina's kids who were insanely confused about what was going on. Some time after that, we dropped the kids off with Gina's sister, and continued on our way to our early morning adventure. Five minutes before we were supposed to be there, we got a phone call asking if we were still coming. Uh, yes? Five minutes after that, we got another phone call asking if we were still coming. Yes, we were late. There was traffic. We told you that we were like seven minutes away, and you STILL phoned a third time to make sure we were actually coming. Seriously, people? Seriously??

ANYWAY. Eventually we arrived at our destination, and were promptly hustled into a van where we discovered that we were the youngest people there by a good thirty years. And that everyone was staring at us with an expression of disapproval.

Something like this. Also, source.

Of course, once we were safely in the very back of the van, we proceeded to pull out our phones and have the following conversation via text message:

Gina: I feel like everyone is judging us.
Me: Obviously. They're all a hundred.
Gina: Seriously. Why is that????
Me: Bucket lists left to the last minute?
Gina: Truth.
Me: We're bad people.
Gina: Also truth.

And then we started giggling, and had to stop texting before the Judgmental Old People picked up on it.

After driving for a millionty years like half an hour, we finally arrived at our destination. And then had to stand around in the early morning Phoenix chill while everything was unloaded and set up. Oh, you'd like to know what we were doing? Sure!

HOT AIR BALLOONING.

The actual hot air ballooning part wasn't nearly as exhilarating as we thought it would be - it barely felt like you were moving. But it WAS seriously cool and very pretty and more or less worth getting up at the crack of dawn. Warning: things are about to get photo heavy. Sorry I'm not sorry.

Incidentally, #36 on my 101 in 1001 list was "Ride in a hot air balloon". CHECK.

Oh, and because you haven't already had enough photos, here's me and Gina shortly before take off:

Complete with old lady who didn't know whose camera
was being used at that particular time... 

After picking the kids up and having a delicious lunch of Chipotle, we headed back to the house for a spontaneous Dessert Day - tres leches cake. We whipped it up pretty quickly, but then found ourselves confronted with a line in the recipe that said "Refrigerate overnight". Womp womp.

It was pretty delicious the next day though

That night, we headed out to something we'd been planning for months - Mexipalooza. In short, we went out and ate a crapton of Mexican food for dinner because when in Phoenix and all that. Sadly, Eileen had to do work nonsense and was unable to join us. But M. was there, and between all of us, I think we probably ate about half the Mexican food in the whole of Arizona. And it was delicious. So delicious that I neglected to take pictures of any of it.

And then we headed home to nurse our food babies.

Up next, we FINALLY come to the end of my trip! I leave Phoenix for Los Angeles, and hang out with Sweeney for a couple of hours, because OBVIOUSLY.

K xx

Do you hear the bloggers sing?

Previously: it took me 16 hours of flying in middle seats to get from Orlando to Phoenix, and it was the uber-suck. On the plus side, Gina was there to meet me at the end of it.

My first day in Phoenix was a pretty quiet one, on account of having spent sixteen hours in planes/at airports the previous day. Instead, Gina and I hung out on the sofa watching the Food Network while her kids played and said hilarious things and were generally adorable. Gina introduced me to the wonders of Sandra Lee, and we both snorted with laughter at the facial expression of the woman who had to try Sandra's cocktail creation.

Other things that happened:

• I flipped my hair over the back of the sofa and straight into a burning candle. Which kind of defeated the point in Gina lighting the candles in the first place.
• Kid #1 telling jokes: "What do snakes eat for breakfast? MAC AND CHEESE!!" Me: "Well, who WOULDN'T want mac and cheese for breakfast?!"
• I fell in love with Gina's shower. Seriously, you guys. It's the best shower EVER. Made better by the fact that the shower at our hotel in Orlando barely did more than trickle in a pathetic way, even with the hot tap on full.
• Gina: "I kind of want to take you to Outback just because it would be funny".
• We watched the pilot of Firefly, and Gina's husband JD said "What??" a lot. 
• Me: "So I saw an episode of that show, Pawn Stars..." Gina: "WOW. That sounds SO much worse in an Australian accent..."
• Kid #3 wandered in with his blankie and his thumb in his mouth, changed the channel on the TV, hid the remote control, and looked at me all "What you gonna do about it? Huh?" and then ran away.
• I gave Gina a packet of Timtams, and over the course of the day, all three of her kids ran into the room, went "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" and then cried when told they were for grown ups. 
• We watched Paula Dean deep fry chicken and serve it in a giant scone/biscuit/thing with a pasta salad made with tinned mushrooms and a whole bottle of storebought Italian dressing. We both had the same grossed out expression by the end of it. 
• I spent a LOT of time going "Holy crap, this house is enormous". Because seriously. It is. 

The following day, we headed out to the Desert Botanical Gardens, where I promptly discovered that I'd left my wallet behind and had to be all "Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiina, can you pay for me to get iiiiiiiiiiiiin??". Pure class, that's me. Once inside the grounds, Kid #2 endeared himself to me forever by dancing around Gangnam Style style while singing the Indiana Jones theme music. Because why the hell not?! 

Anyway, the gardens were really cool and filled with sharp pointy things and educational opportunities. 

Four Seasons themed art - Spring

Summer

Autumn

Winter

After we ran out of cacti to look at, we headed over to the Hole in the Rock for a picnic lunch, a mosey around, and a look at the view. Oh, and on the way there, Kid #2 (who, I should mention, had held my hand about half the way around the Botanic Gardens of his own accord) piped up "Hey Mommy? Next time we go here, can your friend NOT come with us?", which caused me to giggle non-stop for about five minutes. But I digress. THE VIEW:

Once we'd all looked at the view and all three of the kids had looked at me like I was crazy for taking pictures of a plastic velociraptor (Yes. I forgot my wallet, but remembered Clever Girl...), we headed back down to the car and headed over to JD's office to drop the kids off. Because Gina and I had important places to be, yo. 

What important place would that be? A screening of Les Miserables. At 3.30 in the afternoon. With Eileen and M. And it was freaking AMAZING. Why? Because we were the only people in the theatre, so the following things happened:

• We gave each of the songs a letter grade as they happened
• We turned "Do You Hear the People Sing?" into a sing along. The best part is that it happened organically, much like in the film. Eileen started, then Gina joined in, then M and I jumped firmly on the bandwagon of "THIS IS A THING THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN", because obviously. 
• The added-in-so-it-could-be-nominated-for-the-Best-Music-Oscar song started, and I stood up and went "Well, time to pee because this song SUCKS". 
• Crying during Eddie Redmayne's performance of "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" was actively encouraged.
• We established that "Bring Him Home" is awful and should be pitched at least an octave lower than it is. 
• M informed us that she would like to lick Eddie Redmayne's freckles. 
• We gave Aaron Tveit's death scene a round of applause.
• It was quite possibly the greatest thing ever. Internet friends FTW.

And once we'd finished our private, snark-filled screening of Les Mis, we headed over to Outback because Eileen and M thought it would be equally hilarious to take the Australian to Outback. There was a hashtag and everything, because we're cool like that. 

I called bullshit on about 90% of the menu (apparently Alice Springs is known for its quesadillas. WHUT), and then when it came time to order and the waitress couldn't understand my accent, the other three started giggling. Which then progressed to full blown hysterics when I asked for American cheese (only because she listed them so quickly that I couldn't remember the other options). The poor waitress was horribly confused.  

Then I ate my burger with cutlery because it was enormous and I'm a fucking lady well brought up, and Gina lost her shit all over again:

Stolen shamelessly from Gina's blog

Several hours and one shared Chocolate Thunder from Down Under later, the evening came to an end. Albeit with plans to meet up the following night for Mexipalooza. 

Up next, Gina and I get up at stupid o'clock for a very special reason.

K xx

Actual longest day ever

Previously, Lor and I discovered that our version of crack is Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.

The following morning, we were up stupidly early on account of Lor had to drive back to South Florida, and I had a flight to Phoenix at noon. We had breakfast at IHOP, because OBVIOUSLY. Also, it was two doors from the motel. We didn't meet any deranged billionaires there though, which was more than a little lucky. Instead, there were just chocolate chip pancakes, syrup, and a small amount of regret because OH GOD SO MUCH SUGAR.

After breakfast, Lor dropped me off at the airport. I headed inside with a secret hope that I'd be able to get on a different flight to Phoenix, because I was leaving Orlando at noon and wasn't due to arrive into Phoenix until 9pm. Eleven hours of travel. Sadly, I was informed that there were no alternate flights. AND that I was stuck with middle seats for all three of my flights.

Obviously, I was thrilled with this.

The flight from Orlando to Cleveland(!!) was uneventful and relatively short - just over two hours. I was only meant to have an hour or so in Cleveland, so I ran off the plane and went in search of food. A chicken panini and some abuse of the free wifi later, I had every intention of making a John Green style vlog in the airport. I was defeated by a total lack of spaces in which to record, and generally feeling a little weird about doing so. I mean, I'd already taken photos of a plastic velociraptor in the airport. That was weirdness enough...

She didn't approve of the snow.

Eventually, I boarded my flight to Chicago. They closed the door, the plane pushed back, we made it to the top of the runway, and...we stopped. Five minutes later, it was announced that O'Hare had been closed due to bad weather, but that they were hoping it would only be a 15 minute delay. Half an hour later, we headed back to the terminal. And then sat for 20 minutes waiting for a gate to open up... When we finally got off the plane, a queue formed immediately to change flights. Of course, I got to the front of the line the second they started reboarding the plane. But it didn't really matter, because I was going to be on the same plane all the way to Phoenix.

So we reboarded, several hours after we were supposed to have left, and the minute they closed the last door, they announced that we'd have to undergo deicing, and that they'd need to turn the air circulation system off so that we didn't all die of deicing fume poisoning. Or something... It took them another 15 minutes or so to get around to our plane, then about 20 minutes to actually deice the plane. The one highlight was that the woman in the seat next to me had changed her flight, so I was able to sit NOT in the middle. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

The flight to Chicago was uneventful in the end, although by the time we arrived I was pretty exhausted. And hungry. And sadly lacking in books. Thankfully, there was a news stand thing opposite the gate, so I was able to procure a new book easily enough. Food, however, was a different story. The only place that was a) selling food and b) still open was a Starbucks. And considering it was like 10pm, their selections were rather limited...
Starbucks Employee: Hi, how are you?
Me: I've been better. Can I get a toasted bagel with cream cheese?
S.E.: Sure!
Me: Great.
S.E.: Oh wait. We don't have a toaster.
Me: *sigh* That's fine.
S.E.: And we've run out of cream cheese.
Me: Do you have anything else that I could spread on a bagel?
S.E.: Nope.
Me: Of course you don't...

And that's the story of how I ended up eating a stale, untoasted plain bagel for dinner. Upon boarding the flight to Phoenix - which was the longest yet at over FOUR HOURS thanks to stupid weather - I discovered that I was sitting between a broad shouldered businessman and a morbidly obese man. Said morbidly obese man announced that he was sorry I had to sit next to him, but that he flew all the time and had techniques in place to make sure he didn't get all up in my space. He then pulled out a long piece of elastic, looped it around his left arm, and attached the other end to the arm rest on his right hand side.

Like this, but he had the window seat... Also, source. 

It was thoughtful(??), but a little weird. And I can't imagine it was comfortable. The broad shouldered businessman promptly fell asleep and snored all the way to Phoenix, while I alternated between reading the book I'd bought at the airport and watching the marathon of Buffy season 7 that happened to randomly be showing on the TV in the seatback.

Eventually, over SIXTEEN HOURS AFTER I LEFT ORLANDO, I arrived in Phoenix. Even though it was 1am - FOUR hours after I was meant to arrive - my bloggy BFF Gina met me at the airport. In her PJs, because OBVIOUSLY. It was 1am, yo. And because she's the bestest, she swung through McDonald's on the way to her place so that I didn't starve to death in the (remainder of the) middle of the night. In short, bloggy friends are the bestest friends.

And then I pretty much passed out forever.

Next up, Gina's kids are HILAR. Also, singalong Les Miserables and a trip to Outback.

K xx

No technical difficulties, just laziness

Once again, I AM still alive, despite the lack of blogging. I have so much stuff to tell you guys that I literally have no idea where to start. Plus, I don't want to tell you about all the Orlando and Phoenix stuff without telling you about the Washington stuff properly.

I fly out to LA - and, by extension, Melbourne - tomorrow afternoon, and I'm already dreading the whole having-to-write-three-major-assignments-before-semester-starts-in-a-month thing.

In the meantime? I'm hanging out with Gina. Yesterday, that involved a sing-along viewing of Les Miserables and a trip to the Outback Steakhouse. Obviously, I was suitably impressed by how authentically Australian it was:

Most flattering photo EVER.

I promise I'll hurry up and update you guys properly soon. For realsies.

K xx

Plan ALL the plans!

So. My computer seems to be better, the vast majority of my data is still here (with the exception of an assignment in which I have to build a database from scratch, which is due in two weeks, and which is worth 50% of my grade for that class. ARGH.), and I'm eternally grateful to the good folks at JB Hifi.

ANYWAY. Let's get back to regularly scheduled programming!

Before I was so rudely interrupted by the Great Computer Debacle of 2012, I was going to tell you about all the buckets of awesome that I have planned for my trip to the US in January!

Things I Have Planned For My Trip To The US In January:
1. Ice hockey in Washington, DC (provided I can convince someone to go with me).
2. A behind the scenes tour of the Library of Congress. AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Source

3. Snow! Okay, I'm going to admit, I'm pretty freaking terrified of this part. Because I'm not a huge fan of the cold. But it'll still be awesome.
4. Meeting and hanging out with Sarah.
5. The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. And, you know, the rest of Universal Studios. But mostly Harry Potter.

Source

6. Meeting and hanging out with Alice. Most exciting of all, I'll be there for her birthday!
7. LOR. We will have all the fun, including vlogging an episode of Buffy for Snark Squad. Because that's how we roll.
8. Meeting Gina, and planning ALL the plans.
    a) Mexipalooza - in which we eat ALL the Mexican food.
    b) Moviepalooza - in which we (hopefully) go and see Les Miserables and/or The Hobbit at the movies.  
        Failing that, we will watch Paperback Hero together. BECAUSE OF REASONS.
    c) Balloonapalooza - in which we will go hot air ballooning, and it will be awesome.
9. Buying Kat a suitcaseful of Pretzels M&Ms as a wedding present.
10. SARA!!! In case you've forgotten, Sara's my BFF/partner-in-crime from such adventures as Guatemala, Belize, and Mexico; Canberra, Tasmania, Sydney, and Central Australia; and last year's trip to New York. And she lives in England, which is faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar, so I never get to see her.

11. Apparently there's an Applebee's next door to our motel in Washington. I plan to eat my body weight in mozzarella sticks.

Aaaaaaaand then there's the second list...

Things That I Inevitably End Up Doing In America:
1. Hulking out over the existence of pennies.
2. Watching the news and yelling at the television.
3. Eating too many mozzarella sticks.
4. Attempting to get into the driver's seat of a car because EVERYTHING IS BACKWARDS.
5. Taking hours to pay for anything because all the money looks the same.
6. Buying a crapton of books because ZOMG SO CHEAP!!!

So there you have it. Those are the exciting things I have planned so far. And yes, I will pretty much always turn a trip to the US into an opportunity to meet blog friends. Because bloggers are made of awesome, you guys.

K xx

PS. Don't forget to ask me questions for my 500th post!!