Two wins and an epic fail

So yesterday was Dessert Day. And it was a very exciting Dessert Day because we were FINALLY going to follow through on making a recipe that I'd suggested to Deidre approximately forever ago (date may involve hyperbole). We had a special guest star yesterday in the form of my IRL BFF, Char. This had the added bonus of meaning that Deidre and I didn't have to go near eggs, which was VERY exciting because y'all know how we feel about raw eggs (icky and gross, in case you don't)!!

We had three recipes to make yesterday, but as you can probably tell from the title, not everything went according to plan...

We started out making gluten free goldfish crackers, except not goldfish shaped because a) none of us own a goldfish shaped cookie cutter, and b) ain't nobody got time to draw faces and eyes on five million crackers. (Word to the wise: we had to add a couple of extra spoonfuls of rice flour to make it form a proper dough. And we left out the xanthan gum because we like to live dangerously)

When we'd made the dough, we all looked at it and went "Pffff, that's going to make about five crackers!". And then we spent the next HOUR rolling out the dough and cutting out goldfish starfish and heartfish and birdfish and star-of-David-fish (because those are the cookie cutters I have that were a suitable size). So yeah. It makes about a millionty. And then we ate about half of them for lunch, because they were completely and utterly delicious. Here's a terrible photo of the ones we didn't shove in our faces immediately:

Next up, we decided to attempt making gluten free crumpets. This was partly because I've always wanted to make my own crumpets and the recipe in the Australian Women's Weekly Cooking Class Cookbook (published sometime in the 1970s, based on the recipes it includes) looked pretty easy, and partly because Deidre has NEVER HAD A CRUMPET. This made me sad for her, and I felt the need to rectify this.

So we made up the batter, and greased a million bunch of egg rings, and everything seemed to be going according to plan:

Yes, the one in the middle on the right is Australia shaped.
And upside down. What of it? 

Except that when it came to the end of the ten minutes recommended cooking time, the tops were still raw, no holes had formed, and the bottoms looked rather like they'd already been in the toaster. So we made an executive decision, and flipped them over, even though the recipe didn't call for it. While Deidre and I peered despairingly into the frying pan, Char set to work Googling other crumpet recipes to see if she could find out where we went wrong.

Conclusions?
- Gluten is important.
- They need time to rest after you make the batter, even though the AWW didn't say to.
- Substituting gluten free flour doesn't really work.

Once both sides were cooked, we looked at them and decided that they were more English muffin-esque than crumpet-like. Plus, they were too fat to fit in the toaster. So we sliced them in half and put them under the grill in the oven. Result?

You may think they look tasty and vaguely crumpet-like. You would be wrong. They were stodgy and crunchy at the same time, while also having a hideous yeast-y and chemical-y aftertaste that none of us could describe. No one finished their "crumpet" half, and the rest of the cooked ones, along with the rest of the batter, went straight in the rubbish bin. Which was incredibly sad, but better than actually devoting time to cooking them, let alone eating them. Although honestly, considering we've now had eight Dessert Days (nine, including our Super Sized Dessert Day at Ganache Chocolate), I'm a little impressed that it's taken us this long to end up with a recipe that didn't work...

Our final dish of the day was quite possibly my favourite thing to come out of Dessert Day thus far: peppermint pattie brownies. We made a few minor changes to the recipe - namely, gluten free flour, caster sugar instead of white, and adding a few drops of green food colouring to the peppermint layer because Australian butter is BUTTER COLOURED AND NOT WHITE LIKE AMERICAN BUTTER, and the idea of a yellow-y mint flavoured layer gave me the wiggins.

ANYWAY. Minor recipe changes and a small disaster involving trying to make ganache from 70% cocoa dark chocolate later, the overall result = amazingness to the point where I'm going to be making them again tomorrow because I have the rest of a tin of evaporated milk in the fridge and this is the only recipe I have that calls for it, and any excuse to make peppermint pattie brownies is a valid one. Yes? Yes.

Enough words. Here, have some pictures to drool over:

Yes, Char's about to stab the brownies

Happy Friday, kids.

K xx

Dessert Day: the "It takes HOW long?" edition

So Deidre came over yesterday for yet another installment of Dessert Day. And in keeping with our previous Dessert Days, the weather was HORRIFIC. Seriously, you guys. Every single Dessert Day is either a millionty degrees, insanely humid, or pouring with rain. I don't know how we manage it, I really don't...

ANYWAY. We started out making the dough for this chocolate and cinnamon bread thing. In typical Dessert Day fashion, we kludged it a little - my local supermarket only stocked milk powder in 2kg bags, so we left that out, we didn't have any guar gum, and we used Schweppes soda water instead of San Pellegrino, because we're not made of money, yo.

As we went to clear off the bench and get started, Deidre found the magazine section from Sunday's newspaper, which had Ryan Gosling on the cover. Obviously, he became a Dessert Day spectator:

So we made the dough, which resulted in much "Hmm"-ing and "Seriously? TWO TABLESPOONS OF YEAST??"-ing and "Cream cheese???"-ing, and set it aside to rise for an hour. Then we got started on cooking the quinoa for these savoury treats while we started putting together the ingredients for these mint chocolate chip cookies. At which point we promptly discovered that the box of baking soda I've been baking with since approximately 1997 was no longer with us. So while Deidre took care of the quinoa, I marched the three blocks back to the supermarket in search of more.

Discovery of the day: my supermarket only stocks baking soda in 1kg boxes. A KILO OF BAKING SODA. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be passing that thing down to Little Miss A in my will...

Deidre and me with the box of baking soda. Totally to scale.

ANYWAY. So I got back and after we spent five minutes cackling hysterically about how much baking soda we had, we progressed with the cookies. They're pretty easy, and if you live in Australia and are deprived of Andes Mints (I had a packet of their baking chips, purchased at a Walmart in rural Virginia), I'm fairly certain you could replace them with 1 cup of dark chocolate chips, and replace the vanilla with mint essence, and end up with more or less the same result.

Once the cookies were in the oven (I highly recommend using a cookie scoop if you have one. It would have taken FOREVER otherwise), we went to check on the bread dough. Despite its two tablespoons of yeast and having been placed in a warm spot for an hour, it hadn't risen at all, leading us to the conclusion that in the future, we're going to prestart the yeast no matter what a recipe says. BECAUSE OF REASONS, DAMMIT.

Then we read the line in the recipe that said "Place covered bowl of dough in refrigerator overnight" and went "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, NO." So we proceeded to the next step, and rolled it out into a square. We cut up the cold butter as ordered, put it in the dough, folded it up, and rolled it out again, all as directed. The result - rather predictably - was this:

MMMMMMM, BUTTER CHUNKS.

Thankfully, the cookies came out of the oven at about that time, so we left the dough to think about what it had done while we taste tested them:

Word to the wise: the walnuts seem like a weird addition to a chocolate-y, minty cookie, but DO NOT LEAVE THEM OUT. They cut through some of the sweetness.

Ryan approved:

Yes, we're mature adults. 

Back to the incredibly confusing dough. We covered it in a truly frightening amount of cinnamon, then crumbled the chocolate ganache over it, then plonked on a bunch of chopped almonds:

Yes, that's the butter showing through the layer of cinnamon...

Then we rolled it up, which led to much "Oh God, is this even going to work??"-ing, and let it pull itself together for a few minutes while we whipped up the cheesy quinoa bites. Which, I have to say, were really quick and easy and turned out much better than I thought they would!

Sadly, this was the best photo I took of them

WIN.

Back to the dough, we spent a couple of minutes pondering what the hell "Gently coil roll" meant, and settled for folding it into three and smushing it into a loaf pan. We then checked the next step of the recipe, and went "IT HAS TO SIT FOR HOW LONG????". 90 minutes, it turned out.

*sigh*

So we went and ate our cheesy quinoa bites in front of the final episode of Pride & Prejudice, followed by a decent chunk of An Ideal Husband before putting the bread in the oven. FOR AN HOUR. Which allowed us to finish An Ideal Husband with five minutes to spare.

The recipe then said to leave the bread until completely cooled before you cut it, but LOL NOPE.

The final verdict on all the things:
Cheesy quinoa bites: could easily have other vegetables added to them. And probably more cheese.
Mint chocolate chip cookies: ZOMG, AMAZING.
Chocolate cinnamon bread thing: Tasty, but a ridiculous amount of work (and sitting around waiting for it to do things that never happened) for the ultimate end product. Also, a very confusing recipe. Also also, with all that cinnamon and a ton of nuts, my brain kept expecting it to contain apple rather than chocolate. But that's probably just me.
An Ideal Husband: Far more serious than either of us remembered. Also, whatever happened to Minnie Driver?
Ryan Gosling as a Dessert Day witness: He fell over once or twice, but didn't judge us for squealing about how gross it was to touch raw egg. So I'd call that a win!

K xx

Mmmm, fudge...

First of all, the lovely Lissa held a giveaway over Christmas and New Year in which you could win a free copy of one of her books. And I won! SO EXCITING!! I can't wait to start reading - just as soon as I finish Pride and Prejudice and Zombies ;)

I wasn't originally planning on posting the recipe I used to make fudge as Christmas presents for pretty much everyone I know, because it's really freaking simple. Plus, you can find a million and one recipes for fudge elsewhere online. But Little Miss A helped me make it. And she remembered that when we were making jam, I kept stopping to take photos. And she insisted that I take photos again "so the people can see them!" #bloggerinthemaking

So here it is (for the Jaffa version, at least)! And I apologise in advance for some of the photos. That's what happens when you have a six year old sitting next to you asking if she can a) taste every single ingredient, and b) take a photo of each step as well...

The cast of characters:

Start by dumping the contents of a 400mL tin of sweetened condensed milk into a saucepan.

Then take 1 cup of dark chocolate melts (or regular chocolate, if you want):

And chop them up:

Take 2 cups of milk chocolate melts (or regular chocolate) and do the same:

Try desperately not to just eat it all. Put the whole lot on the stove over low heat, and stir until smooth:

Taken by Little Miss A. Not bad, really! 

Add 1 teaspoon of orange essence. Or more if you like it really orangey:

Pour it into a lined 20cm square tin:

Again, taken by Little Miss A

And flatten it out.

Then take a handful of Jaffas. I have no idea if you can get anything vaguely similar to Jaffas in North America or Europe. Find some kind of orange flavoured candy if you can't. (Also? I really want to go to Dunedin during the Cadbury Chocolate Festival to watch them roll Jaffas down the world's steepest street now. Because OHMIGOD AMAZING.) Shove said Jaffas into a ziplock bag:

And bash them with a rolling pin:

Then pour the Jaffas over the top of the fudge and press them down lightly:

Put the whole lot in the fridge for at least two hours, then chop it into bite sized pieces (I cut it into 36 pieces), and completely forget to take photos of the finished product because you're a numpty your brother and ten of his mates are outside asking repeatedly when they can have fudge. It was pretty damned good. As evidenced by the fact that there was one piece left by the time the guys had left!

And if you're not a huge fan of choc orange flavoured stuff, you can replace the orange essence with peppermint essence, and the Jaffas with smashed up candy cane, and you end up with this:

Also delicious. Although after a little while, the candy cane starts to go squishy... Which is fine, because it means it doesn't get stuck in your teeth!

So there you have it - it's quick and simple and totally delicious. You can make it in any number of ways, and it's cheap to make. It's pretty much the perfect recipe!

Did anyone else go crazy with the fudge making over Christmas? Also, who wants to come to Dunedin and watch 30,000 Jaffas be rolled down a giant hill with me???

K xx

Merry Christmas, y'all!

Contrary to appearances, I'm not actually dead. I've just been more than a little busy with the inevitable Christmas shopping and wrapping and baking and celebrating. We had the first of three family Christmas celebrations last night, and my brother has a bunch of choir friends arriving in about half an hour. (They do this song in choir in which the tenors and the first basses sing all kinds of philosophical stuff about how to be happy. The second basses sing the names of over 80 brands of beer. So they've decided to get together and see how many of the different beers they can try. I foresee messiness...)

Anyway, basically I've been distracted by this:

Candy cane fudge

And this:

Jaffa fudge

And this:

My niece, Little Miss A

I'll be back for Movie Monday, as per usual. Have a wonderful, safe and happy Christmas.

K xx

A long weekend of Awesomeness in photos

So I was in Melbourne this past weekend. And it was awesome. And considering my text is due at work on Friday, I don't have time to write about it all. So I'll give you the highlights through pictures...

It started out with the work Christmas party on Friday night, which - as predicted - featured slightly bizarre green dresses (I spent half the night hiding behind the camera):

Saturday morning, I flew home to Melbourne. Where I spent the afternoon making a complete mess of Mum's kitchen in preparation for our BBQ that night:
Course, that didn't stop me from paying attention to Domi. Who, for some reason, is bearing a striking resemblance to Rod Stewart in the hair department at the moment:

Anyway, I made delicious chocolate fudge cupcakes decorated with buttercream frosting and bits of candy cane:

Let's get a closer look at that candy cane, shall we?:
Then after making brownies (which I forgot to take a photo of), I moved on to making guacamole. Which featured a very exciting moment - I was able to get the pits out of ALL FOUR AVOCADOS, which I've never been able to do before. In all the excitement (for me at least), the photographic proof turned out slightly blurry. But meh:
Anyway, here's the finished guacamole (detailed post to follow at some point in the future):

Aaaaand here's Paulie testing the guacamole to make sure it's not poisonous:
Then Nessa brought me one of these:
And I jumped up and down with excitement and screamed a little bit. In case I didn't mention it in my Peru emails last year, Sublimes are a completely delicious Peruvian chocolate bar, consisting of milk chocolate and peanuts. They're disturbingly good, and not available outside South America. Nessa has her ways and means, and got hold of a box - yay!!!!!!!!! Thanks Nessa!!! They were delicious. Om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom...

Ahem. Where was I? Oh, right. Sunday involved decorating the Christmas tree. I love decorating the Christmas tree, because it means I get to laugh at the small child on the box (who must now be well in his (at least I think it's a he!) 30s), who looks like this:
Who says there's no fun in having a plastic Christmas tree??? ;)

Monday was an action packed day, featuring my first haircut in nine months and a trip to Brewery Land. Monday night was spent at the Green Day concert, which rocked in all possible ways. Here's Nessa and I waiting for the concert to start:
Cam was there too, but obviously we're far more important than him... ;) (Hi Cam!!) Anyway, then it was on with the concert. I'm quite impressed at how well my camera did. Although I had to put my finger over the flash otherwise the pictures were filled with little sparkly bits of dust...


'King for a Day' included the usual props - last time I saw them, it was a crown and cape. This time it was a feather boa and a policeman's hat:

And then there was the usual acoustic finish of Good Riddance:
Best. Concert. Ever.
I mean, the American Idiot tour was pretty damned good, but this was a whole different level of awesomeness. The perfect end to a great weekend.
Shame about having to get up at 5.45 this morning to fly back to Canberra!!!! ;)
K xx