It finished on Sunday, and I'm pleasantly surprised with how it went. Sure, it wasn't always easy to get home and do an hour-long workout. And it wasn't always easy to eat within my calories sand make sure I followed the recipes exactly even when it involved a truly sarcastic amount of rice.
I mean, really.
But it paid off. I lost 7.5kg over the 12 weeks. My fitness score went from 25 to 75. Which probably means precisely nothing to you, but it means I've gone from being able to "run" a kilometre in just under 10 minutes to being able to RUN a kilometre in about five and a half minutes (although admittedly, doing so totally massacred my lungs and I coughed for the next three days...). I can do a wall sit for nearly a minute longer than I could before. My flexibility has improved by 7cm. I can do planks and push ups on my toes. The 12WBT recommended that I sign up for the advanced program next time around (hahaha ohgod).
A photo posted by Melbourne on my mind (@melbsonmymind) on
And for the most part, the food was totally delicious. Sure, there were times when something was ridiculously time consuming or it just wasn't my cup of tea. But on the whole? It was really tasty and really filling and a pretty big serving considering it was part of a calorie controlled menu.
I'm trying things on my own for a while, to see if I can keep up the exercise and keep eating smaller servings and healthy options as much as possible. But it will be nice not to have to push myself to burn 1000 calories every Saturday or do a full hour's workout if I'm exhausted/sick/just in need of a night off.
I'm hoping to lose another 5kg. But we'll see how it goes... Slow and steady wins the race, right?
I'm five days into the 12 Week Body Transformation, and so far? I'm kind of surprised about how easy it's been.
Which isn't to say that working out for an hour every day has been easy. I've sweated like a pig, and during today's yoga video, I spent a lot of time going "What in the how the hell did she just do oh dear God my shoulder hurts what do you mean I should breathe deeply I can't breathe at all because my damned boobs are in the way".
And sticking to the approved menu hasn't been easy. I haven't had chocolate since Sunday. I WENT THROUGH PMS WITHOUT CHOCOLATE, YOU GUYS. And I miss cheese. Like, so much. I think I'd murder someone for a toasted cheese sandwich right about now.
That said, the food has - for the most part - been really tasty and surprisingly filling given that it's calorie controlled. There've only been two recipes all week that I wouldn't bother to make again, which is a pretty damned good indication of things, right?
I even survived attending the book launch for Every Move - where Ellie Marney signed all three of my books and I totally forgot to take photos - without stuffing my face with cheese and crackers. Or drinking a litre of orange juice just because I could.
Tomorrow is my first Super Saturday, where I'm supposed to burn 1000+ calories, and I'm a LITTLE bit terrified. Because that is a crapton of calories, yo. BUT. Tomorrow night, I get to have a treat meal. A TREAT MEAL!!!! I may even lash out and use some of my 700 calorie treat meal on chocolate. Because obviously.
Remember how I had "lose 5 kilos" on my 101 in 1001 list? And remember how I achieved that goal in 2013? And remember how I lost a ton of weight between 2006 and 2009?
Yeah. About that...
In the past year or so, I've been going to the gym less and sitting around the house more. Why? Because the gym's been dicking around with the group fitness timetable, moving classes around. Because instructors have been injured for extended periods and so they've replaced the classes I love with classes I can't stand or without any sense of certainty that the class will be on. Because MyFitnessPal was too hard to do while travelling and when I got home, I couldn't get back into the habit of using it. Because it's raining/I have cramps/I slept funny and my hip hurts/it's too hot/all my socks are in the wash.
Because of crappy excuses, basically .
That 5 kilos I lost in 2013? I've gained it all back, plus an extra 4 kilos. I haven't weighed this much since 2007. And now that the gym's cancelled Body Combat because apparently I was one of about 10 people who a) loved it and b) was able to attend a class at 4.30pm on a Tuesday, my motivation to go to the gym is even more non-existent.
Tracking my calories just made me feel guilty about everything I ate, and without the motivation to go to the gym, things were never going to change.
So I decided to take the plunge and sign up for the 12 Week Body Transformation Challenge.
Starting on Monday, I'll be doing an hour of exercise every weekday, doing a 1000 calorie work out on Saturdays, and eating to a carefully calculated menu plan formulated by Not Me, and which is therefore sadly lacking in my two favourite food groups: cheese and chocolate.
So for the next 12 weeks, my schedule will look like this: Monday: Cardio Tuesday: Weights Wednesday: Cardio Thursday: Weights Friday: Stretch class Saturday: BURN ALL THE CALORIES Sunday: Cry and cover entire body in Dencorub.
And you can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be crying on my birthday, which falls on a Saturday this year.
One of the pre-season tasks that we're supposed to do is tell everyone we know that we're doing the challenge so that we're accountable and people can be supportive blah blah blah. So this is me, shouting it from the rooftops to the internet: I'm doing the 12WBT. I'm terrified. But I'm doing it. And frankly, I'm pretty excited to get started. But, you know, in a terrified sort of a way...
In short, if you see me posting pictures of chocolate or cake or one of the many delicious forms of deep fried potato in the next three months, just go ahead and send me this gif as a reminder to get back on track:
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to make a bunch of motivational playlists.
Sometimes, you need to focus on the little things in life. I'm not going to lie - a good portion of this list is kind of ridiculous. But sometimes you need a little bit of ridiculous in your life. Especially if it makes you happy.
101 things that make me happy
1. Tom Hiddleston (please, like you expected anything else)
2. Puppies (see above)
3. Hanson's "Give a Little"
4. Emails from Lor and Sweeney
5. Chocolate
6. The feeling of relief you get when you take off a pair of tights
7. North and South
8. Emails from Sara
9. The soundtrack to Les Miserables (yes, I'm aware that it's kind of weird that this would make me happy)
10. New books by favourite authors
11. Travel
12. The cast of Supernatural being adorable dorks
13. The Avengers
14. Big Thunder Mountain Railway
15. Red pandas
16. Free wifi. Especially while travelling
17. Community
18. Ridiculous taxidermy
19. Baking
20. Eurovision
21. David Tennant
22. Emails from Kim
23. Roast potatoes
24. Doctor Who (until it doesn't...)
25. Vlogging
26. The theme from Jurassic Park
27. Fountain pens
28. Snark Squad
29. Emails from Gina
30. Awesome historical discoveries (i.e. Richard III)
31. The Oxford comma
32. Sleepy Hollow
33. Fog
34. Super secret ice cream
35. The first day of spring. (not the first day first day. But the first day that FEELS like spring)
36. Figure skating (watching it, I mean)
37. Chocolate pudding
38. The Basics
39. Body Combat
40. Harry Potter
41. New shoes
42. The smell of books
43. Trips to the movies
44. The Lizzie Bennet Diaries
45. Dessert Day
46. New passport stamps
47. WTF Evolution
48. Scouting for Girls
49. Snail mail
50. Lego Marvel
51. John and Hank Green
52. The feeling you get when you hand in an assignment and know that you never have to think about that topic again
53. Wizarding World of Harry Potter
I mean, come on.
54. #snarkathon
55. Chair dancing
56. Mexipalooza
57. Making lists
58. Rockstar tram catching (by which I mean that you get to the tram stop just as the tram pulls up but don't have to run)
59. Toasted marshmallows
60. Robert Downey Junior
61. Otters
62. Pitch Perfect
63. A new diary every January
64. Reading
65. Officeworks
It's basically Heaven.
66. Yorkshire pudding
67. Firefly
68. New stationery
69. Hot chocolate
70. New nail polish
71. Blog comments (ahem)
72. Open fires
73. Pizza
74. Joss Whedon's Twitter account
75. Shake
76. Ballet
77. Caprese salad
78. Elementary
79. Body Pump
80. Pulling the exact right number of pegs out of the container when hanging washing
81. The Wilfair books
82. VEDA
83. She's the Man
84. That one time I beat Little Miss A at Monopoly (which may sound like a dick thing to say, but it's only ever happened once. The girl is a Monopoly MACHINE)
85. Veronica Mars
86. Beer battered steak fries and aeoli
87. Silly memories with old friends
88. Thunderstorms
89. The Princess Bride
90. Stephanie Perkins books
91. Haribo Tangfastics
92. Postcards
93. Once More With Feeling
94. Trips to the zoo
95. Amazing libraries
96. Hilarious Google search terms leading to my blog
97. Black Books
98. Rainbow Rowell books
99. Mediavengers
100. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
101. Pasta
So last year, I actually wrote down my goals for the year, and it turned out reasonably well. As I said then, I don't like calling them resolutions because that tends to come with the expectation that they'll be abandoned by about the sixth of January. And I don't like to make them really specific - you know, the "lose 5kg" type - because you inevitably feel shit about yourself if you only lose 4.5kg.
So. Let's get to this year's goals, shall we?
1. Go to the gym regularly
Last year, I had "get fit" on the list. My fitness has definitely improved over this time last year, but after two weeks away from the gym when I was in New Zealand, I've struggled to get back into the routine and haven't been since a week before Christmas. So I need to get back into the habit of going to the gym AT LEAST twice a week. Three times a week would be better. I have ambitions to go four times a week, but I should probably build up to that, shouldn't I?!
2. Be accountable
This is partly about taking responsibility for my actions and their outcomes, but part of it relates to food. While I was in New Zealand, I stopped using MyFitnessPal, and I haven't really used it since. So I need to get back into the habit of logging what I eat and being accountable for it, rather than doing an "I ate pretty well today so I can just eat an extra slice of cheese and it won't really make a difference" thing.
3. Procrastinate less
I am the queen of procrastination, and I really need to work on abdicating my throne. Especially when it comes to job applications - "Oh, it's not due for two days" isn't a valid reason to leave the one remaining selection criterion for tomorrow, yo.
4. Keep writing
Last year, I had "write something ELSE" on the list. I didn't participate in NaNoWriMo, on account of being in New Zealand for half of it. Still, I did start working on something vaguely resembling an idea for a novel, which is currently standing at about 7,500 words. Plus, I wrote a 2,000-ish word one shot thing. So my goal for this year is to just keep writing, and try to turn that 7,500 words into something more substantial.
5. Vlog at least once a month
My biggest problem with this one is coming up with a topic every month, but I figure if I start keeping a list of things I want to talk about, maybe it'll be easier. I already have two ideas written down, so I'm good until March at this stage! I'm also planning on doing VEDA again, because it was awesome.
6. Buy what I need, rather than what I want
I think I did better last year at not doing the whole "Oh, this movie is only $20, I can totally afford that!" thing. This year I need to work on not just buying five new books for my Kindle rather than going to the library... This isn't to say that I can NEVER buy things that I want. It just means I need to put priorities in place when it comes to my spending.
7. Get in the damned photo, again
I definitely did better on this one last year. In 2012, I was tagged in 5 photos on Facebook, and only two of them were actually of me (in one of them, I was a small child, so it doesn't really count). In 2013? I was tagged in 54 photos on Facebook, and 43 of them were actually of me. Definitely an improvement! Hopefully I can keep it up this year...
8. Keep track of how many pages I read each day.
This one is more curiosity than an attempt to read a certain number of pages. I mean, Goodreads may track how many pages I read each year, but I'm really interested to see what my average number of pages is, as well as the highest and lowest numbers. I tracked it for the last two weeks of December, and my highest was 581 pages and the lowest was 92.
9. DFTBA
Pretty self explanatory and one that will probably make the list every year.
Are you making resolutions or goals for this year? What are they?
Given that I've been rather absent in the past ten days, I figured that I should let you all know that I'm not dead. You know, in case you were wondering. But considering I've used all of my brain power and cleverness on VEDA, I couldn't come up with anything particularly interesting to say.
So instead of thinking up a blog post, I figured I'd use the opportunity to catch you all up on what's been happening recently through a handy dandy meme thingy!
Watching:
I'm very late to the party on this one, but I've been watching a LOT of Veronica Mars recently. It's absolutely phenomenal, and I'm insanely excited about the movie coming out next year. Other than that, there's the usual Buffy and Angel for Snark Squad, and an AWFUL lot of Youtube videos, courtesy of VEDA.
Listening to:
The Pitch Perfect soundtrack is on high rotation at the moment. Also Titanium, because it's freaking awesome. The new Scouting for Girls single, Millionaire. And a lot of Me First and the Gimme Gimmes for reasons that will be discussed below!
Planning:
Tomorrow's VEDA video. Sunday's VEDA video. SO MANY VEDA VIDEOS. Super secret things that may or may not end up happening. We shall see...
Thinking about:
The fact that I upped my squat weight and my lunge weight at Body Pump today (15kg and 12.5kg respectively), and nailed it. How many VEDA videos I still have to watch. What to watch for Movie Monday. How many episodes of Veronica Mars I can watch tonight.
Looking forward to:
VEDA being over so I don't feel stressed out about not having time to watch All the Videos. Eventually having a job. October, because it's going to feature Must Be Thrifty and Cheap Geek's wedding, Kat visiting Melbourne, AND seeing Me First and the Gimme Gimmes live in concert. SQUEEEEE!!!!
Reading:
'Legend' by Maria Lu. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it - it feels a lot like every other dystopian YA I've read in the past couple of years. You know, girl meets boy, they don't get along, the government is evil, boy and girl fall for each other despite everything. I'm about two thirds of the way through, so maybe something dramatically different will happen between now and the end of the book to make me absolutely fall in love with it, but at this point? It's enjoyable but nothing out of the ordinary.
Making me happy:
The fact that I applied for graduation yesterday, and will be graduating with distinction. Making it through the entire shoulder track at Pump this morning without needing to change my weights. VEDA. Veronica Mars. Chocolate. You know, the usual.
So remember that one time that I made one of my goals for 2013 to get fit? And remember when I then went to the US for a month and ate a lot of fudge and Chipotle? And then when I spent a week and a bit dying of the plague flu when I got home?
Long story short, I didn't spend any a whole lot of time on this goal for the first chunk of the year. But after spending the weekend in a world of "OH GOD EVERYTHING HURTS SIX WEEKS WITHOUT GOING TO PUMP IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD", I figured that now was as good a time as any.
So I've signed up to MyFitnessPal, in the hopes that having to record what I eat will stop me from eating entire bags of lollies in a single sitting. Guilt is an excellent motivator, yo. And I'm endeavouring to do SOMETHING active every day.
I figure if I pretend I'm in training for when the Doctor turns up and says this...
...I'll have a higher chance of success than I would otherwise.
We'll see how it goes...
How do you guys stay motivated with the whole trying to eat healthy/exercise regularly thing?? Because seriously - I need suggestions.
So first things first: I saw The Hobbit this afternoon and, as predicted yesterday, I'm going to go ahead and add it to my Best of 2012 movies list. Because it was awesome-sauce.
Moving on.
Today we're going to talk about the music that I've had on high rotation this year. It's going to be a bit of a weird mix, because I don't listen to the radio and therefore get most of my "Ooh, I like that song! I should download it" feelings from a) Little Miss A playing me something on her iPad, b) Body Pump/Body Combat classes, c) TV shows and movies, d) people sending me things I should listen to. So...yeah.
Some Nights - Fun. My BFF Megan is responsible for putting me onto Fun., and I'm really grateful that she did because I love their stuff. Sure, the video clip for this song is buckets of weird, but it's really catchy.
Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen
I know, I know. You'll probably all disown me for this. But if you can find me something else that will pep you up on your way to the gym quite like this does, I'll be happy to hear about it! Also, I'm going to go ahead and blame Little Miss A for this one. Because blaming things on seven year olds who aren't here to defend themselves is totally okay, right??
Gangnam Style - PSY
If you say you don't love this song, you're a dirty liar. Kim's responsible for this one, and one day, I'm going to have the money to fly to Wellington and hug her for it. In the meantime, I'll just go ahead and tell you that Little Miss A started singing it last week while we were playing cricket, and when I went "Um. WHAT ARE YOU SINGING??", she changed the words to "Heeeeeeeeeey, chips and gravy". Yeah. That happened.
Give a Little - Hanson
Holy crap, I love this song. Every time you hear it, you can't help but throw a little dance party on your own. It's gotten me out of bed on a lot of days when I just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep.
Eurovision Song Contest - Eurovision 2012
Come on. Like you weren't expecting this after I live blogged Eurovision three nights in a row! I've had a bunch of songs from this year's competition on high rotation this year. I love the winning song (see above) but I also love the French, Italian, Cypriot, Irish and Icelandic entries.
Doctor Who theme - BBC National Orchestra
Like you didn't expect this either. I'm talking specifically about the season 2 theme, which is also my ringtone. (My message alert is the TARDIS landing) I love the crap out of it, and when Give a Little can't get me out of bed in the mornings, this sure as hell can!
What You Know - Two Door Cinema Club
This one's thanks to Lor's VEDA videos. Another excellent song for psyching me up to leave the house for the gym.
Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins
Paulie and I blasted the shit out of this at least half a dozen time while driving to Canberra back in February. There's nothing quite like a good bit of Kenny Loggins while doing 110kph on the Hume with the windows down! Also, it's a freaking awesome song.
Hands - Jewel
I'm gonna go right ahead and blame this one on the finale of Dawson's Creek. I have no other explanation for why I've been playing it a lot this year.
Les Miserables - Original London cast
Seriously, I've been listening to a combination of this and the International cast highlights ALL YEAR. I'm not even remotely kidding. I love the crap out of it, and it'll probably be on high rotation next year as well. My favourites are The Confrontation, Red and Black, and Javert's Suicide. And One Day More. And pretty much everything ever. With the possible exception of Bring Him Home...
No Good Deed - Idina Menzel
This one's become one of my favourite songs from the Wicked soundtrack this year, and I have no explanation for it. I guess listening to a lot of Les Mis, I love a good soliloquy??
We Are Young - Fun.
Love love LOVE this song.
I Am the Doctor - BBC National Orchestra
This is what I set my alarm to if I want to get up in the morning feeling like I'm about to go on an adventure. And who doesn't want to feel like they're about to go on an adventure???
Wow. I'm FINALLY to the point where I have less than ten days left on this challenge. It's only taken me the better part of a year.........
The theme for Day 21 was "faceless self-portrait". Today when I got home from the gym, I decided to take advantage of the 25 degree weather and the sunshine, and eat lunch outside on the grass. Course, the back garden hasn't been mown in about a month because I'm not allowed to use the lawn mower (last time I did, I ran over a concrete phone doohickey and nearly broke the mower...), so it kind of looks like a jungle.
So I figured that I may as well take the opportunity to cross the next day off the list as I sat in the front garden, which wasn't at ALL weird. Aaaand here you go - a faceless self-portrait!
Also, this is the only time you will ever see me wearing leggings. YOU'RE WELCOME.
So I was going to do a recap of The X-Files season 6 tonight. But it's late, and I'm tired, and I don't really have the energy to type up a millionty pages of #secretsexytimes.
Instead, I'm going to show you just how terrible my taste in music is by hitting shuffle on my iPod, and telling you the first 20 songs that it plays. I'm kind of scared, because my taste in music is pretty terrible... Right. On with the show!
1. Pabst Blue Ribbon - Ceann. These guys classify themselves as Irish American drinking music. This song is particularly hilarious: Pabst Blue Ribbon is apparently the beer that you taste twice.
2. Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac. How can you not love this song?!
3. Bust a Move - Glee cast. Yes, I have the Glee soundtracks. Shut up and quit judging.
4. I Want to Break Free - Queen. If I could go back in time to see any band in history, it would be Queen. Because no one can command a stage like Freddie Mercury could. And this video clip? Is spectacular.
5. Blue as Your Eyes - Scouting for Girls. I love this song. That's pretty much all there is to it.
6. Run - Stephen Fretwell. If you've haven't seen Gavin & Stacey, you need to go watch it. And then you can go ahead and download this song.
7. It's Not My Time - 3 Doors Down. Pretty sure this is a chest track from Body Pump.............. Eh, it's still pretty good.
8. I Am The Doctor - Murray Gold and the BBC National Orchestra of Wales. If you can think of a more epic way to start the morning than by using this as your alarm sound, please let me know. (And yes, it's from Doctor Who)
9. Pop! Goes My Heart - Hugh Grant. From the soundtrack of Music and Lyrics, which is AMAZING and you should all watch it. It's kind of like a song by Wham, except better because it's not by Wham.
10. You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi. All this song reminds me of is the New Year's episode of How I Met Your Mother where this is the start of Barney's 'Get Psyched' mix.
11. Waterline - Jedward. Yes, this is from Eurovision. It's still amazing. Nikki and I have decided that Jedwarding is the new Rick Rolling. #justsaying
12. Angel of Music - Phantom of the Opera, original London cast. We had this on cassette when I was a kid. And when I was about six, me and my best friend decided that we needed to write out all the lyrics on butcher's paper by listening to it over and over again. Apparently we were smart enough to work out the lyrics from a cassette, but not smart enough to realise that the lyrics were written in the liner...
13. I'm a Believer - Smashmouth. I suspect this came from a random mix CD that one of my little brother's friends brought round at some point... At least it's not the Monkees version?
14. Pain Lies on the Riverside - Live. So my little brother loved the CRAP out of Live, as did one of the guys who lived downstairs from me in halls of residence in England. Which made me homesick. So I ripped all of Downstairs Guy's Live CDs. At least this wasn't from their fifth or sixth albums??
15. Home - Michael Buble. I honestly have no idea where this came from. Possibly when I set up the home sharing network thing?? It's not a bad song. A little depressing though. Probably don't listen to it if you're homesick...
16. Sloop John B - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. I love the crap out of Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. Did you know they're listed on the Wikipedia page for supergroups?? AWESOMENESS. This isn't one of my favourite songs, but hey. It's a punk rock version of the Beach Boys.
17. Feels Like Today - Rascal Flatts. I think this one came courtesy of Megan, as did almost all the country music on my iPod. I kind of love Rascal Flatts though.
18. Everything You Ever - Neil Patrick Harris. This is from Dr Horrible's Sing-along Blog. If you haven't seen it, WHY THE HELL NOT?!?! This song is kind of heartbreaking.
19. Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult. Supernatural is to blame for this one. It featured in an episode from season 1, and it's a pretty awesome song.
20. Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jensen. Yeah................................. I have this song on my iPod. It's catchy, quit judging.
So, what's on YOUR iPod? Is it as bizarre a mix of random as this was??
Do you ever get the feeling that the universe is conspiring on you to make you seem much more awkward than you really are?
On Tuesday night, I had to do a group presentation in class. I was *ever* so slightly underprepared for it, and instead of my usual print out of exactly what I was going to say, I had scribbled bullet points.
Things that happened during the presentation:
I lost track of which order we were presenting in, and was all "Uh, you're next" to the person beside me, only to find that *I* was next.
I couldn't read my own handwriting.
I couldn't think of the word I wanted. This led to me trying to say "If you don't use a controlled vocabulary, keywords can be subjective", and instead came up with "If you don't use a controlled vocabulary, keywords can be..........................................not...good???... I had a word, but then it went away..."
I completely forgot what one of my major points was, and had to stand there squinting at my own handwriting and having an internal panic attack until I found it.
So that was fun...
Then on Thursday, the doorbell rang:
Random stranger: Yeah, hi. I'm [insert name here] from the Victoria Police *shows ID*. Is [my dad] home?
Me: Um. No, I'm sorry, he's not.
Policeman: Damn!! Oh well. It's just about his unpaid parking tickets - there's hundreds of them, so can we just leave them with you?
Me: What???
Policeman: *dies laughing* Hahaha, oh God. I'm just kidding. We've got a court summons for him. He's being called as a witness.
Me: Ohhhhhhhhhh.
Policeman: So here's the summons. And there's $5 stapled to it.
Me: Um. Can I ask WHY?!?!
Policeman: Honestly? I have no idea. Everyone gets given $5. But it's ridiculous - it won't even cover the cost of a train ticket!!
Me: Seriously.
So that happened. At least now I know why I keep noticing staple marks in $5 notes??
Plus, my Body Combat instructor on Monday night kept yelling "DON'T BLINK!!" at us, and I got paranoid that the terrifying angel statues from the cemetery across the road from the gym had finally made a break for it. (This fear has not been helped by the appearance of a WEEPING CHERUB in the new trailer for season 7. Thanks a lot, Steven Moffat...)
Oh, and then last night? I was playing the Angry Birds board game with Little Miss A last night, and managed to hit myself in the head with an angry bird.
Basically, my reaction to the world this week can be summed up by Prince Harry:
This morning, I woke up to a bunch of tweet saying "Congratulations!!". Being slightly brain addled at stupid o'clock in the morning (okay, FINE. It was 9am. I'm unemployed!), it took me a while to work out that I've been voted 20SB's featured blogger of the month! There's a possibility that I Kermit flailed with excitement while still in bed.
So to honour the occasion, I vlogged. You're welcome.
And I'd very much like to thank Youtube for selecting the most flattering screenshot of all time. *sigh* (Oh, and contrary to appearances, I'm not actually a vampire. I just get sunburnt and then go back to being the palest person on the planet.)
What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that curls into a ball when you touch it?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you use to change the TV channel?
Oh, and I also wanted to tell you guys that I thought of a category I left out of my crazy-people-at-the-gym list last week. (I said it in my first attempt at the vlog, and then completely forgot to mention it subsequently. Oh well....) Anyway, the category I left out was this:
The Woman Who Refuses to Bring a Handbag
I witnessed this the other day. She had her keys, her phone, her gym membership card, and I have no idea what else SHOVED DOWN THE FRONT OF HER BRA. Quite how she exercised while being stabbed in the boob by her keys I will never know.
So thank you again to everyone who voted for me, and I hope you enjoyed my awkward talking-with-my-hands vlogging. I love you guys a butt load.
K xx
PS. Thanks to everyone on Twitter for persuading me to actually post this vlog <3
This morning, I went to yet another Pump class at the gym. And it served to remind me of two things:
1. I will always hate the shoulder tracks in Pump classes; and
2. People at the gym tend to fall into certain pigeonholes, most of which are a little weird.
So here I present you with a (totally notmaybe a little very judgemental) list of People You Will Encounter In Gym Classes:
The Grunters
You know, the ones who channel an Olympic weight lifter/Rafael Nadal, and grunt with exertion during everything they do. At my gym in Canberra, the weights room got so bad that they had to put up a sign asking people not to grunt so loudly because they were disturbing other patrons. Apparently that just meant a bunch of them migrated to the Pump classes, because we had an increasing number of grunters there by the time I left Canberra!
The Ones Who Can't Count
This occasionally goes hand in hand with the above. They're lifting more weight than they should, so they can't do the controlled "three counts down, one count up" like the rest of the class. So they go "123...wait for everyone to catch up" instead. But a lot of the time, it seems like people just suck at finding the beat in the song. And it's not exclusive to Pump. I've seen people doing exactly the same thing in pretty much every class on offer.
The Oompa Loompas
I'm pretty sure there's one woman in every gym class who is not only bright orange from all her fake tan, but who's actually put on a face full of make up just to hit the gym. I've actually seen women standing in the change rooms and touching up their make up before they go into a class. Just a note, ladies: if you wipe your face, and the towel ends up orange? It's probably time to lay off a little...
The Ones Who Don't Listen
Sure, if you have a medical reason to do something different to what the instructor is saying, I completely understand. But when there are people who go "Hmm, that seems a little bit hard. I'll just do my own thing instead."? Hell no. Especially when a lot of them end up doing exercises in a way that'll just result in injury. I've had a couple of instructors who've actually had to tell them to please do what the rest of the class is doing. Awesome.
The Ones Who Stand Too Close
Does anyone else get to the gym, stand around waiting for a class, and then two seconds before the class starts, someone turns up and stands RIGHT NEXT TO YOU? And by right next to you, I mean get-the-fuck-out-of-my-personal-bubble close. I kind of want to make a t-shirt to wear to Combat that says "If you stand in my bubble, I take no responsibility for accidentally hitting you"...
The Instructors Who Don't Need to Breathe
I've found this one applies mostly to Step instructors. They're always indescribably cheerful, and even on days when it's 35 degrees C outside, they insist on doing all ten tracks without a break. At least one has glared at me for daring to require oxygen and a drink of water during their class.
The Ones Who Dress Inappropriately
At the gym in Canberra, there was a woman in her 60s who used to come to a few of the same classes as me. She was an Oompa Loompa type, and every week without fail, she would turn up in short shorts. My former work wife and I had a nickname for her: Vagina Shorts Lady. Because when she bent over for any reason, NOTHING was left to the imagination. People would actually pick up their stuff and move across the room when she stood in front of them. And today, a woman at the gym had shorts so short that her undies were sticking out the bottom of the leg holes. Similarly, there was a woman at the gym in Canberra who always turned up to Zumba in jeggings. And there's one here who turns up in a leotard and a lace top. No. Just...no.
The Pains in the Butt
The ones who hold everyone else up because they decide to put half their gear away in between tracks. And who basically stand on your face to do so. I always feel slightly smug when they pack up while everyone else is getting a drink, and then the instructor says that you'll still need that piece of equipment that they just put away. They're also the ones who get there half an hour early, set up their stuff in the primo spot under the air conditioner, then go off and "warm up" by walking at 4kph on the treadmill, and then run into the class at the last minute.
The Conversation Joiners
We had one of these in Canberra too. We called him Talks-Too-Much-Navy-Guy. You'd be in the middle of a conversation with a friend and he would appear out of nowhere and join in with bizarre personal details that no one asked for. I'm all for striking up a conversation with the person next to you. About *gym* related things, until you know them better. Not about whether or not you think your boss is going to give you a pay rise.
The Instructor Who You Think Is Hot...For a While
We had one of these in Canberra. We called him Hot Scott. There may have been quite a lot of giggling from our corner of the room when Hot Scott was teaching. And then I realised that he checked out his own muscles while doing bicep curls, and it was all over. He was officially resigned to Douchebag Land...
And finally, we have this: The One Who Sings Along Under Their Breath To All The Really Awful Pop Songs
Um. Guilty as charged... It doesn't help that a couple of the instructors I've had over the years have encouraged people to sing along. Once you've started, it's really hard to make yourself stop...
Which of them have you come across? And - more importantly - have I missed any?
K xx
I went to a Pump class this morning for the first time in about a millionty years ages. By the end of the squat track, my legs hurt so much that I thought I was going to die. Needless to say, I foresee tomorrow and Friday being filled with me acting like it would be less painful to have surgery without anaesthesia than stand up/lift my arms above shoulder height...
Anyway, today's topic was "a bad habit". My brother and I are equally guilty on this one - leaving our shoes all over the house.
Seriously, I have absolutely no idea when I last wore my red heels (possibly to drinks with Ness and Kat like two weeks ago??), but they're still sitting around in my room. They're at least NEXT to the cupboard, so they're ahead of my sneakers (which Dad's just moved from the middle of the kitchen to the back porch in frustration) and my thongs/jandals/flip flops, which pretty much live at the bottom of the stairs during summer.
Um. Whoops?
Okay, confession time y'all - does anyone else leave their shoes all over the house??
My weekends at the moment are usually pretty unexciting. I'm generally so shattered from install and all the walking between the office and the gallery that it requires that I seem to mostly spend my weekends on the sofa watching trashy movies. So yesterday was a nice change.
It started with brunch. Em and Matt (of recently married, me being a bridesmaid fame) are off on their month-long honeymoon tomorrow, so I had brunch with them. The place we went was stupidly busy, and the one free table was covered in dirty crockery. That was fixable, we just moved them all to a bench. But there was a big smear of jam/ketchup/something gross and crusty on the table. So while we were looking at the menus, we asked a passing waiter if he could wipe the table. Apparently he was blind or lazy, because he did a completely half arsed job of it, and just managed to smear the grossness around even further. Thankfully, I had a stash of tissues in my handbag, and we were able to sort it out ourselves. And the pancakes I had for brunch mostly made up for the sucky service, which continued throughout our meal. They could have done with more maple syrup though... *sigh*
A couple of hours later, I headed to the gym with my housemate for a Body Jam class. Sadly, when the instructor turned up, it wasn't the woman who usually takes Body Jam there. And she announced that it was going to be a Body Attack class instead of Body Jam. She was all "It's pretty high impact, so if you feel half way through that it's not for you, I won't be offended if you leave." Which, to be honest, left me slightly terrified. But we stuck around anyway. Boy, was she not kidding when she said it was high impact...
It's mostly running on the spot. With high kicks. And agility work. And about five minutes of straight push ups. And I was nearly dead by the end of it. Only to have the instructor say "Aaaaaaand those were the easy tracks! Oh, and I cut two tracks out to make it a 45 minute class because you guys kind of looked like you weren't going to make it through the full hour..." Course, I don't think it helped that my headband kept falling off, meaning that I couldn't actually see what I was doing for about half the class!
AnyBodyAttackwasinventedbySatan, after the class from hell had finished, we decided that we needed a little sugar hit. So we went to Cold Rock. D had never been there before, and got slightly overwhelmed by all the options. She wound up going with coffee ice cream with Ferrero Rochers mixed in, and began regretting it half way through when she spotted the Cherry Ripes and the Bounty bars. I, on the other hand, took my time deciding.
Every time I go to Cold Rock, I feel the need to play the system. I mean, why would you pay for an Oreo mix-in when you could get Cookies n Cream ice cream? So I tend to get ice cream that effectively has a mix-in through it already.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand sour gummy worms. To be honest, I wasn't really certain about how the gummy worms would go with the ice cream. But they were pretty awesome, even if they were slightly more solid than is ideal! Over all, it was pretty damned delicious, and I'd definitely have that combination again.
And then last night was spent watching my boys, the mighty Geelong Cats, beat the Sydney Swans at the SCG. I may have worn my Cats scarf around the house all night... What more could a girl want from a Saturday??
K xx
PS. I made bread this afternoon, so challenge recipe 10 is on the way! As are more posts about books. Cos I'm sure you're not sick of those yet! ;)
I had grand plans for going to the gym tonight. I haven't been to Body Pump in about a month, and I'm feeling ridiculously lazy. But then I wound up having to spend about half the day in the gallery doing install stuff. So I had to stay late at work to finish a presentation for Monday, and couldn't get to the gym. In keeping with my ongoing laziness, I'm combining days 9 and 10 into one post. Which is appropriate really. As you'll see shortly!
Day 9 - A book you thought you wouldn't like but ended up loving AND Day 10 - Favourite classic book
The reason that it's appropriate to combine the two of these is simple - the same book applies to both. In year 10, I was horrified when I saw the reading list for English. For the first time, we had to read a classic book (although we'd done Merchant of Venice the previous year). This is not to say that I hadn't read any classic books before - I read a Dickens omnibus (containing A Christmas Carol, Oliver Twist, Great Expectations and A Tale of Two Cities) when I was ten. It's just that when I got my school books in January (our school year starts in February), this book looked SO. FUCKING. BORING.
Obviously, it's rather more mangled than it was when I got it...
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. I took one look at the cover and decided that this was going to be the suckiest book of all time. Oh, fourteen year old Kirsti. How foolish you were... Anyway, I always read my English books during the summer holidays, so one day when the parentals decided we were going on a family drive, I grabbed this to keep me occupied. It only took about 20 pages before I was completely hooked. We were on a drive through the Dandenongs, which means lots of twisty, turny roads. It took Mum 20 minutes and me turning rather green to get her to convince me to actually put the book down.
I adore Jane Eyre, from "There was no possibility of taking a walk that day" to "Reader, I married him". And no, I didn't have to look up either of those. I'm rather excited about the new movie version of Jane Eyre that's due out soon. Although I'm not sure that I can cope with anyone other than Toby Stephens playing Mr Rochester, even if he does wear a truly vile hat!!
Day 01 - The best book you read last year Day 02 - A book you've read more than 3 times Day 03 - Your favourite series Day 04 - Your favourite book of your favourite series Day 05 - A book that makes you happy Day 06 - A book that makes you sad Day 07 - Most underrated book Day 08 - Most overrated book Day 09 - A book you thought you wouldn't like but ended up loving Day 10 - Favourite classic book Day 11 - A book you hated Day 12 - A book you used to love but don't any more Day 13 - Your favourite writer Day 14 - Favourite book of your favourite writer Day 15 - Favourite male character Day 16 - Favourite female character Day 17 - Favourite quote from your favourite book Day 18 - A book that disappointed you Day 19 - Favourite book turned into a movie Day 20 - Favourite romance book Day 21 - Favourite book from your childhood Day 22 - Favourite book you own Day 23 - A book you wanted to read for a long time but still haven't Day 24 - A book you wish more people would've read Day 25 - A character you can relate to the most Day 26 - A book that changed your opinion about something Day 27 - The most surprising plot twist or ending Day 28 - Favourite title Day 29 - A book everyone hated but you liked Day 30 - Your favourite book of all time
I went to work this morning with every intention of going to a Step class at 5.30. Which meant I had to leave work at 4.30 to get there in time. When I looked at the clock and it was 4.45, I wasn't all that devastated. Because honestly, I HATE Body Step. So I came home with the intention of doing a circuit at home. But then my housemate, D, said that she was about to leave for a Body Jam class if I wanted to go with her. It cost me $20 because it was at a different gym, but it was totally worth it. Because it was AWESOME.
Anyway, let's get on with the books!
Day 7 - Most underrated book
Okay, I'm choosing to interpret this as "A book I think everyone should read". I'd have to go with this one:
The Secret Life of Words: How English Became English, by Henry Hitchings. I'm reading it at the moment - it was an early birthday present from the lovely Kat. And it's fascinating - did you know that the word 'coriander' comes from the Greek for 'bedbug'? Apparently the smell of crushed bugs is much the same as the smell of coriander. I KNEW there was a reason I hated coriander.
It's also amazing/disgusting just how many English words originated in a word related to testicles. Avocado? From the Nahuatl for testicle. Musk? From the Sanskrit for scrotum. I officially can't eat musk sticks ever again *shudder* (God, I can't WAIT to see the Google searches that lead to this post...)
It's filled with lots of stuff NOT related to balls too - it starts with Roman times, moving through the Anglo-Saxon era and the Norman invasion through to exploration in the Americas, India, the Far East, and my own dear Australia, before finishing with the late twentieth century. It's pretty cool to see how words from other languages have been mangled by English, especially stuff from Arabic and Persian. And, indeed, how words from English have been transformed when being absorbed by other languages.
It's a great reminder that language isn't static - it's constantly growing and changing and reforming itself. And I can but hope that, one of these days, words like 'wibble' and 'arsebiscuits' will be both in common use and in the dictionary ;)
(Incidentally, if you're getting sick of me wibbling on about books, stick around - there's a recipe for homemade lasagna coming up at some point this week!)
K xx
Day 01 - The best book you read last year Day 02 - A book you've read more than 3 times Day 03 - Your favourite series Day 04 - Your favourite book of your favourite series Day 05 - A book that makes you happy Day 06 - A book that makes you sad Day 07 - Most underrated book Day 08 - Most overrated book Day 09 - A book you thought you wouldn't like but ended up loving Day 10 - Favourite classic book Day 11 - A book you hated Day 12 - A book you used to love but don't any more Day 13 - Your favourite writer Day 14 - Favourite book of your favourite writer Day 15 - Favourite male character Day 16 - Favourite female character Day 17 - Favourite quote from your favourite book Day 18 - A book that disappointed you Day 19 - Favourite book turned into a movie Day 20 - Favourite romance book Day 21 - Favourite book from your childhood Day 22 - Favourite book you own Day 23 - A book you wanted to read for a long time but still haven't Day 24 - A book you wish more people would've read Day 25 - A character you can relate to the most Day 26 - A book that changed your opinion about something Day 27 - The most surprising plot twist or ending Day 28 - Favourite title Day 29 - A book everyone hated but you liked Day 30 - Your favourite book of all time
So you know how the past couple of weeks I've been all "This week was a suckfest" and "Wah, poor me" and "Pity party, table for one"? Yeah. I'm sick of that shit. Because I realised today I have a whole lot of stuff coming up in the next couple of months that's exciting, and I should just ignore all the crap that's going on at work, and focus on the good stuff instead.
So what's the good stuff? Well, there's:
The Canberra Multicultural Festival next weekend. I'm pretty much not going to eat for the whole of next week so I can stuff myself with delicious food
The fact that Grey's Anatomy is FINALLY back in about a minute. Woohoo!!
The fact that Farmer Wants a Wife starts back next Wednesday. I'm frighteningly excited about it
The fact that I'm not a teacher. Mum told me a story today about how she and another teacher had to look after the preschoolers during naptime, and one of the kids peed her pants. The other teacher picked up the kid's sleeping bag, and a river of pee poured out of it onto the other teacher's feet. Eeeeeeeeeeeeuw...
My work buddy I's roller derby debut at the end of the month. GO FEMAELSTROM!!
Em's hen's weekend.
Install. Finally, after almost two years of me working on this project (and that's WAY less time than some people have been working on it!), we're starting to install the gallery, which makes the whole thing seem real. Plus, the nerd factor with the registration and conservation staff? Way higher than curatorial. They actually understand my Firefly/Pride and Prejudice and Zombies/Star Wars references!!
Em and Matt's wedding in March
The fact that when my niece, Little Miss A, started Prep on Monday morning, the only thing she was concerned about was the fact that she had to wear socks. He he he. Hilarity!
My little cooking challenge, which is proceeding nicely.
Being back at the gym four hours a week.
I think that's probably enough to be getting on with. Oh, and did I mention the Multicultural Festival? I did? Well, I'm mentioning it again. It's totally the highlight of living in Canberra, even if it does seem to always fall on the hottest day of the year!!
So I know it's only Tuesday, so it's a little early to say this. But this week? It kinda sucks. Yesterday, my sunburn started peeling, and now I look like a leper. I also got the new gym timetable for 2011. And they've gotten rid of Body Combat and replaced it with Zumba. Okay, so I like Zumba - it doesn't feel like exercise. But it's not the same as Combat. No Combat means not getting rid of my frustrations by pretending to punch all the people that happen to be pissing me off at present. To be fair, some of these are historical figures like John Batman or George Arthur. But still, Combat is a good stress release. And somehow I don't think Zumba is quite going to cut it in terms of stress release...
And then today I made the mistake of wearing what I'm now going to call my Misery Dress. It's just a black shirt dress with white trim. And I've only worn it a handful of times. But every time I have, either bad things happen, or I end up crying. Today was no exception (although it was a bad thing rather than the crying this time!), with some annoying stuff going on at work. If the dress hadn't cost me $120, I'd totally put it in the cupboard and never wear it again...
Just when I thought today couldn't possibly be redeemed, my brother sent me the link to Axe Cop. It's a comic written by a six year old and drawn by his 30 year old brother. And it's hi-freaking-larious. Not to mention appropriate, because a year ago today, the Axe Cop website went live.
Anyway, I'm incredibly thankful that it's Australia Day tomorrow - a day off is pretty much exactly what I need right now. Here's hoping that the rest of the week is an improvement on yesterday and today...
K xx
PS. I know I've been kind of a misery guts recently. I'll try and be more cheerful from now on...
I went back to the gym on Friday night for the first time this year. It was my regular Body Pump class, nothing out of the ordinary. But what I forgot was that I didn't go to the gym for most of December... And considering skipping a week of Body Pump tends to result in rather a lot of muscle pain unless you reduce your weights. And I didn't reduce my weights.
By the end of the squat track, my knees wouldn't stop shaking. And by the time we had to sit down on the step benches for the ab track at the end, I pretty much just fell onto the bench and hoped for the best... I figured that the 20 minute walk home from the gym would work out the lactic acid and avoid the worst of the muscle pain.
Yeah, I was wrong. I was in rather a world of pain on Saturday. After my little jaunt to the city where I bought my shiny new Le Creuset, I came home, sat on the sofa, and watched an episode of Fringe. When I went to stand up to get a glass of water, I could barely move - my legs had basically frozen in place. And yesterday was just as bad, if not worse.
I actually had to resort to buying Dencorub yesterday. DENCORUB. Like an 80 year old. Great... At least I was able to get odourless Dencorub so that I didn't SMELL like an 80 year old as well... :S
I went back to the gym tonight - albeit for a Step class rather than a Pump class. I'm slightly terrified that the pain will be just as bad tomorrow. I guess at least if it is, I have the Dencorub already........
