Who needs Oprah when we can do it ourselves?

It's been a while since I've had All The Thoughts, so let's talk about Charmed season 3, shall we?

Quite possibly the best/worst promo shot of EVER. Source.

• Oh, Phoebe. What the hell did you do to your hair?! 
• Ahaha, Cole. I totally forgot he was Assistant District Attorney.
• Ridiculous fairy episode is ridiculous.
• OH MY GOD. These Halloween costumes are INSANE.

Source

• Ahahaha, a terrible wig flashback! Cole, you look RIDICULOUS. 
• Wait, so Prue's plan to keep them safe from the demon that's stalking them is SNEAKERS? And not even to wear, just to carry around with them?? Right, because you'd totally have time to change your shoes in the middle of a demon attack.
• Um. Empathy and telepathy are not the same thing, show. 
• That slice of Balthazar flesh looks a hell of a lot like beetroot.
• Phoebe, honey. Faking your demon boyfriend's death is a terrible idea.
• There is an evil ice cream truck. I cannot even begin to process this idea. Evil. Ice cream. Truck...

Source

• OMG Nigel from Crossing Jordan!!
• Ahahahaha, their dad finding out that Leo's a whitelighter = I AM DEAD FROM LAUGHING.
• Wow. That was the most awkward not!wedding ever. Way to ruin everything, Prue. 
• Oh my God, Marshall from Alias as a punk-y demon dealing with the Seven Deadly Sins. AMAZING.
• Um. Did Phoebe just do a degree in less than two years? Yo no comprendo...
• I have precisely zero fucks to give about Cole. 
• Phoebe, sometimes I really want to punch you for your stupidity.
• AHAHAHAHA, PRUE IS A DOG!!!

Source

• Holy shit, someone killed Piper.
• LOL, Prue just overpowered an entire SWAT team singlehandedly. 
• Well. That was quite the cliffhanger ending... 

How did you feel about Cole back in the day (or, you know, now. Either way)??

K xx

I would make a truly terrible spy. Just like Sydney Bristow

Remember last year when I rewatched Dawson's Creek and Had A Lot Of Feelings About It? And then when I rewatched The X-Files and Had A Lot Of Feelings About It? Well, over the past six months or so, I've been rewatching Alias and Having A Lot Of Feelings About It. And the other day, I finally finished season 5. Which was interesting, because I'm pretty sure that - much like Dawson's Creek and The X-Files - I never actually saw the final season. WEIRD. 

I'm gonna go ahead and warn you guys now, a lot of my thoughts boiled down to "Oh my God, this person who I know from this other show is in Alias and now my brain hurts". 

Season 1

Oh my God, Will's hair. Also, source.

• Bradley Cooper!! What is your hair, sir??
• Huh. They're really starting the Milo Rambaldi thing early. I didn't remember that.
• Gina Torres!!!!! This is made of awesome.
• OMG, throwing the bad guys' bomb ONTO THEIR CAR???? Brilliant!
• Is that...JOHN HANNAH??? IT IS!!!!
• Security guards in England with guns? Uh, no.
• Sending secret KGB codes in first edition books makes me suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper twitchy and NO CAN'T DO THAT WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
• QUENTIN TARANTINO IS IN ALIAS. WTF. WHY IS QUENTIN TARANTINO IN ALIAS????
• "Do you really want some space, or are you and I going to get drunk?"
• There is an AWFUL lot of touching between Syd and Vaughn. If it weren't for all the secret agent business, I'd call #secretsexytimes.
• Sark!! Although I swear to God when he introduced himself I thought he said "My name is Mr Sock".
• Sydney Bristow: worst. spy. ever.
• OMG. Professor Walsh from Buffy is investigating Sydney in regards to fringe science. LOL.
• And now John Locke from Lost is in charge of a tribunal to assess Syd.
• Oh, random uni friend guy. Why did you have to make Syd love you and then turn out to be a dick, all in the space of two episodes?!
• Why is Bali so orange???
• Ahahahaha, she's singing on top of a piano in a French bar. WTF.
• SARK JUST SHOT WILL OMG WTF IS HAPPENING.
• Oh. Now Will's being tortured by the crazy Chinese dude from the pilot?
• Really? The ONLY security for a secret underground pharmaceuticals lab is a cheap padlock on the door??
• Syd spends a lot of time bashing things with fire extinguishers...

Season 2

Source

• Syd and Vaughn just need to face nom already. Like, seriously. 
• I love Lena Olin. You know, at this stage.
• Noooooooooooooo, Will. Don't develop feels for Syd!
• Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuw, Shirtless Sloane. *GAG*
• They just used Seattle Grace as a Swiss hospital. LOL.
• OMFG. Syd as a geisha is hilarious.
• "Blood coagulation tests are not 100% accurate." "Yes, but they are reliable." Uh. Whut.
• BAHAHAHAHAHA - this episode stars Ranjeet AND Principal Figgins. AMAZING.
• Faye Dunaway is in this? Why the hell is Faye Dunaway in this?
• FAKE FRANCIE WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE NO MEMORY OF THIS OMFG.
• Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay SYD AND VAUGHN!!!
• Ethan Hawke?!?!?!?!?!?!?
• And now Christian Slater? What is with the guest stars in this program?!
• Syd is literally the worst spy ever. She just rescued some woman, and not only told her that she was CIA, but gave said woman her full name.
• Syd and Vaughn on an ice hockey date is adorable.
• "I love my drawer". Quit being so damned cute, Vaughn. I can't cope.
• Syd is currently wearing wrapping paper as a skirt. I can't even.
• Well. This whole Will and Francie thing has gone somewhere I wasn't expecting...
• Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. I HATE when shows do a time jump.

Season 3

This is the most awkward group photo ever. Also, source.

• OMG. Zachariah from Supernatural!!
• Will's in Witness Protection? Well, that spoils all the fun!
• I'm not buying this Rambaldi "peace" message thing.
• LOL. Jack types in all caps.
• Vaughn is married to Melissa George?! Ugh.
• Ahahaha, Pete from 30 Rock is playing some kind of criminal.
• Fake Francie is not dead and has hilarious hair.
• OMFG, MARSHALL'S DRUMMING PROPOSAL AND VAUGHN'S REACTION TO IT. Hilarious perfection. 
• Urgh. A bug eaten hand in a box. GROSS.
• SYDNEY BRISTOW. DO NOT HAVE DRUNK SEX WITH WILL TIPPIN. Oh dear. Too late.
• THE MUMMY!!!! Man, pretty much everyone ever has guest starred in this show.
• Marshall just said "Five by five". Awesome.
• Lauren is an evil skank.
• RICKY GERVAIS?? AS AN IRA BOMB MAKER. OMFG.
• KATE BECKETT IS A STEWARDESS WHUT.
• Revenge-y Vaughn is revenge-y.
• Ew. Jack is macking on his wife's sister.

Season 4

How are those matching suit tops on Syd and Nadia?? Also, source.

• CHUCK FROM SUPERNATURAL OMFG
• Wait, we've relocated the entire show to Washington???
• I do not approve of this. At all.
• Wait. And now they're back in LA again? WTF.
• I can't work out whether Vaughn is trying to be Australian, English or South African. It's kind of hilarious.
• GABRIEL FROM SUPERNATURAL WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OMFG. Aaaaand he just fell apart into chunks. WHAT.
• Kelly MacDonald is in this episode what is happening oh my God I can't even.
• Balthazar from Supernatural. Jesus, why not just cast Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles and be done with it?!
• Jason Segel OMFG. With a manky one sided goatee. Ahahahaha. 
• Ew ew ew ew ew Marshall just had to scoop out some guy's eyeballs with a spork. NOPE.
• ETHAN RAYNE FROM BUFFY. Is melting people's faces off. Whut.
• Vaughn's phone records indicate that he "sent you an SM message". HAHAHAHAHA. WHUT.
• JOEL GREY WHAT IS HAPPENING OMG.
• When the hell did Nadia and Eric go from flirting to dating? Because I'm not sure there was ever actually a point where they started dating... There was just a lot of flirtation and then suddenly he was her boyfriend.
• There is a horse wandering through the middle of the city. Whut.
• Did Nadia just get eaten by zombie people?!?!?!?!?!
• Oh. Not eaten by zombie people. Kidnapped by her psychotic aunt instead. And then turned INTO a zombie person. Womp womp.
• If a giant wall of water is coming at you, why would you STOP RUNNING to check if the doors were going to hold?!
• WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK JUST HAPPENED OMFG I CAN'T EVEN.

Season 5

Really, Syd? A whole year and you haven't bought a new suit? Source

• I have no idea what the hell is happening. Like, seriously. 
• Also, Vaughn pretending to be South African is buckets of hilar.
• THEY DID NOT JUST KILL VAUGHN WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK *HULK SMASH*
• It pisses me off that Weiss and Syd are all "Nadia who?" about everything.
• Amy Acker whuuuuut. And she's evil. Of course.
• I'm not loving this season. The whole "Sloane is evil" thing AGAIN? I mean, come on.
• Seriously, does every single person who joins the team move in with Syd??
• I think Tom is trying to be Australian and is failing terribly. Vaughn's South African accent was better than this.
• "I'm going to be a grandfather. A very YOUNG grandfather." LOL, OKAY JACK.
• SARK. WHUT. Oh God. Do NOT have Rachael hook up with Sark. Oh jeez. Too late. 
• Ahahahahaha, Rachael's "OH SHIT" face is priceless.
• Syd's not a fan of pain? Hahaha, whut.
• Jack just cut off someone's ear. Ew.
• Syd's parents just delivered her baby. That's kinda gross.
• VAUGHN IS ALIVE WHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT.
• WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL!!!!!!
• Syd's in a tank top and mini skirt on a mission four weeks after giving birth? I call epic bullshit.
• HOLY SHIT SLOANE JUST THREW NADIA THROUGH A TABLE AND KILLED HER.
• Aaaaand now Renee's dead too. What the hell, episode???
• Oh good. Sloane's hallucinating dead people. That's bound to end well...
• They killed Tom too?? Jesus, how many people are going to die this season??
• Awwwww, Francie flashback. I'm glad they found a way to include her in the final season!
• Sark's irritation at being shot is hilarious.
• I'm sad that they didn't bring Weiss back for the finale, but on the whole the ending could have been worse. Somehow. 

And there we have it. So, questions:

1. Did you watch Alias back in the day? 

2. If so, what did you think of the final season? Because I wasn't a fan.

3. Is Sydney Bristow the worst spy ever?

3b. How on earth does she ever get anything done considering she must live in a permanent state of jetlag??

Please help me to understand. 

K xx

Another bullet pointed update

Try as I might, I'm currently incapable of coming up with a single coherent idea to turn into a blog post. So instead, you get a lot of rambling. Aren't you lucky?!

• I went to see Argo with my parents last night. Half way through the trailer for The Hobbit (it doesn't open here until Boxing Day), my mum turned to me and went "Bilbo is the porn guy from Love Actually!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". Yes. Yes, he is.
• I just discovered that Seth Green played a vampire in the original Buffy movie. I now feel the need to go and watch it immediately.
• I finally managed to persuade my travel agent that no, my travel insurance policy should not come with the title "Mister". This is something of a relief to me.
• I got a Christmas card from Kat the other day. It came from somewhere rather more exotic than New Zealand:

• I had dinner with the lovely Pretzel Thief in the city last night. I'm honestly surprised that it took us a good hour and fifteen minutes before we discussed Pacey Witter Dawson's Creek.
• Deidre and I went to see Pitch Perfect last Friday. Our one sentence review: "Could they really not find more attractive men who can hold a tune??"
• The Channel 7 catch up TV thing is refusing to let me watch last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy. This makes me sad. 
• I bought the twins this (amongst other things) for Christmas. It's quite possibly the most brilliant thing EVER. 
• If you leave candy canes sitting in a cupboard for an unknown number of years, this is what happens:

Ew. And yes, I have a freckle on the palm of my hand.

• There's a possibility that I had a small emotional breakdown this afternoon on account of how a decent chunk of my clothes don't fit any more, and I'm about to spend a month in the home of all things deep fried. 
• Related to the previous, who wants to start coming to the gym with me so I actually have the motivation to go regularly??
• I have a truly terrifying number of Buffy episodes to watch for Snark Squad before I leave the country on January 3rd. Instead? I seem to be spending my evenings watching Sliders and Alias. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
• There's a possibility that I piled six of the paper hats from Christmas crackers onto my head this evening. Because I'm classy like that.

What's new with you guys?

K xx