Possibly not the best idea ever

So remember last month how I decided I was going to make a vlog every month? It's that time again.


I apologise in advance for my singing voice. I hadn't warmed up and was too lazy to rerecord it once I realised that I sound awful. And for the length of this. And for the fact that I'm posting this at nearly 1am - I started uploading the video at 7.30 and it's LITERALLY JUST FINISHED.

Have a calorific Easter, y'all. (Yes, I'm taking the piss)

K xx

Over my head

So remember how in my vlog the other day, I said that I was going to be in a choir concert in March?

Yeah. The first rehearsal was last night, and I *think* I may have bitten off a little more than I can chew, thinking that I can perform a 50 minute piece perfectly with three rehearsals and one run through with the orchestra... Because there are a number of things I hadn't considered before saying yes.

1. I haven't had to read music in over ten years.
2. I can still read the notes, but I suck at sight reading the rhythms and so tend to just sing everything in crotchets or minims.
3. Time signatures now mean nothing to me.
4. I can't read key signatures for shit.
5. Italian terms (beyond forte and piano) mean absolutely nothing. Last night, the conductor was like "I want you guys to sing this giojoso". Everyone else was all "Oh, sure!". I, on the other hand, was like "Uuuuuuuuuuuh????"
6. "Can you put an operatic release on the word 'faith'?" Well, I would. If I knew what that meant.
7.  When the lyrics for the soprano part get put above the stave, I completely lose track of where I'm up to. I think the only way to rectify this is to photocopy the entire score and highlight my part.
8. The tenors and basses get to sing the fun movement about sailing and storms and shit. We, on the other hand, get stuck with singing about saving prostitutes from shame. And not in an awesome, Les Mis kind of a way.
9. OH GOD, ANYTHING ABOVE AN E SEEMS REALLY REALLY HIGH.
10. I've forgotten how to breathe properly, and keep running out of breath in the middle of a phrase.
10. Basically, this is what I think the soprano part looks like:

Source

And this is what the score really looks like:

Source

So yeah. Basically, I'm kind of a drama queen.

Here's hoping that with a lot of practice before the next rehearsal - possibly including roping my brother C into helping me get the rhythms right - I don't suck quite as much. I could feel the girl next to me cringing as I attempted to find the right note, missed, and then did an awkward glissando to the note everyone else was singing.

On the plus side, this is the first time C and I have sung in a choir together in almost 20 years. Last time? We looked like this:

OH MY GOD, THE TEETH.

Hopefully we can get a more flattering picture this time around...

Any advice on how to dredge my musical abilities up from the depths of history???

K xx

In which I rant about accents

So if you follow me on Twitter, you may know some of this already. But I discovered this morning that it's really hard to write differing pronunciations of "France". So, at the request of Eileen, (and for Gina's benefit because she was the one I was trying to explain it to) here's a video. In which I sing stuff from Les Miserables. And impersonate American accents. And generally make a fool of myself.

YOU'RE WELCOME. (Also, thank you Youtube for another spectacularly flattering screenshot...) I apologise in advance for my weird facial expressions. I have no idea what was going on there...


Oh, and here's the awesome video I was talking about in the video. God, it's like Inception, but with Youtube...


Random sort-of subject change: Who's excited about the Les Miserables movie that's coming out at Christmas time??

K xx