Friday night genius

Yes, I know I'm writing this on Saturday night. Shut up. It's my blog and I can do what I want, dammit! Ahem. Anyway, yesterday was my Work Mum's last day at the museum. *sad face* We had farewell drinks for her after work last night, and it was filled with much mocking of Canberra. Canberra drivers are notoriously shit, and what passes for freeway here can (I'm told, not being a driver myself) be backed up for miles and miles solely because people don't understand how to merge.

Anyway, it culminated in Femaelstrom going "Ugh, Canberra. What a SHITHOLE..." Now, I don't know what happens overseas, but in Australia, the number plates for most states come with a lame slogan on them. Like "Victoria - the place to be" or "NT - Outback Australia". Or, as I've just discovered from looking up number plate slogans on Wikipedia, "Queensland - the smart state". AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Now, I know it's a shocking generalisation to make fun of an entire state, but Queenslanders voted in Pauline Hanson. And voted against daylight savings, because "the furniture will fade". And they like rugby LEAGUE. Ew. It's kind of like saying "The Tea Party - we vote for the Democrats".

AaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyQueensland'snotthatsmart, when Femaelstrom made the above statement, my immediate response was "HOLY CRAP. THAT SHOULD BE ON THE NUMBER PLATES!!!", which resulted in much a) hilarity, and b) agreement. I can see it now - cars driving down Northbourne Avenue sporting number plates that say "ACT - What a shithole" instead of the "ACT - Heart of the nation" that they do now. How awesome would that be? Clearly, I should be a copy writer.

K xx

Eddie Perfect is a genius

I had my iPod in at work today, because I was doing a lot of admin-y collection work, and it was kind of a snorefest. Anyway, one particular song came on, and I promptly burst out laughing. I'd actually downloaded it a week or so ago, and then completely forgotten about it, so it was something of a surprise when it started playing. The song? "Six at Best" by Eddie Perfect. It's from the season 1 finale of Offspring, and it's HI-freaking-LARIOUS.

Here, see for yourself. You don't really need a lot of background here, the song pretty much says it all, I think:


The lovely Carly did a post on this when it first aired, and I've stolen the lyrics from her post:

Six At Best

Babe, I know it’s crazy that I slept with your sister
We got drunk on vodka and I totally kissed her
Things got out of hand
I felt rejected and pissed, hurt and lonely
But as far as sex with your sister goes
There’s something you should know

Your sister’s a 6, the sex was 6 at best
A 6 at the most, and maybe even less
‘Cos her desperation wrecked the mood
She made love like a starving person clutching at food
And it’s difficult to stay aroused
When you’re surrounded by a thousand owls
Baby, it’s impossible to overstress
Your sister’s a 6, and that’s being generous

She must have nervous 'cos she couldn’t stop talking
She told me ‘bout the doctor that she’s borderline stalking
In bed your sister’s less active than Steven Hawking on Prozac
And I know it’s no excuse, but, baby, it’s the truth

Your sister’s a 6, the sex was 6 at most
You’re like a 12 course banquet, and she’s just toast
‘Cos she wanted feedback on whether she was getting it right
She’s got more baggage than a Qantas flight
It was rarely hit and mostly miss
And the weirdest bit – she kept calling me Chris
And I swear to God, it will never happen again

Your sister’s a 6 and you’re a perfect 10
Your sister’s a 6 and you’re a perfect 10
Your sister’s a 6 and you’re a perfect 10
Your sister’s a 6 and you’re a perfect 10
Your sister’s a 6 and you’re a perfect 10

And I know you think you’ve gotta be tough
That you’re never really good enough
Well the truth is, girl, that you’re not her
And in fact, you’re the woman that I prefer
And I know we don’t often get things right
I just wanted the chance to say to you tonight
You’re my everything, you’re my lover and my best friend

Your sister’s a 6 and you’re a perfect 10
Your sister’s a 6 and you’re a perfect 10
Your sister’s a 6 and you’re a perfect 10

Anyway, when I'd finished laughing hysterically (and, you know, replayed the song about five times), I immediately texted Carly - I knew she'd understand! And I was right.

Also? I'm a little bit in love with Eddie Perfect. Not only is he a brilliant actor, but he writes all the songs himself. Plus, he's got freckles *swoon*

I rather think I might have to go and see him at the Melbourne Comedy Festival next month! (Incidentally, you can download the song from iTunes if it makes you laugh as much as I did)

K xx