Did you just call me a ho?

With Charmed season 7, we progress to the stuff that I hadn't actually seen before. We also progress to a less than stellar era of the show, but we still get some hilariously awesome guest stars, so...there's that. My thoughts are shorter than usual this time around, probably because at least half of my thoughts were just flailing over the guest stars...

Why does HMC look like an afterthought?? Source

ONWARDS WITH MY THOUGHTS (which are from May, so there's every possibility that Present!Kirsti has no idea what the hell Past!Kirsti was talking about...)

• This floaty ghost head is like a cross between Voldemort and Slimer. 
• OH. MY. GOD. Did Charisma Carpenter guest star in EVERYTHING?! 
• ...................the Angel of Death is bitching about working overtime. 
• Charisma's character is a total sass explosion who gets premonitions. Apparently she's still playing Cordelia Chase.

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• Seriously, I can't take Agent Brody seriously because he's Jack from Dawson's Creek.
• Leo, dude. Remove the knife from Piper's stomach and THEN heal her. 
• I wonder if the real reason that they got rid of Phoebe's active powers is because they ran out of money to make her levitate. 
• No, but seriously. Why the hell would they even let Agent Brody in the house?! 

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• Bahaha, the Avatars basically have touchscreens ten years ahead of schedule. 
• Billy Zane is singing. What the eff. 
• Paige: "Okay, hi. I'm wearing lip gloss. Do I LOOK homeless??". Don't be judgey, Paige. Homeless people are allowed to care about their appearances too. 

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• Why the hell do all the scenes with the Elders suddenly take place on top of the Golden Gate Bridge?
• COLE, OH MY GOD, YOUR HAIR.
• Did we HAVE to have a close up of Piper sewing up Leo's shoulder? Gross. 
• Oh no. Did they just give us an "into every generation, a girl is born" storyline for Pandora's Box? Ugh, they totally did. 

She's even blonde. Source.

• Pretty sure Phoebe's love interest guy just got killed by the demon version of Wolverine...
• Are they seriously faking their deaths? WHY. WHY IS THIS PLOT A GOOD IDEA? I ALREADY HATE IT. 

Guest stars from this season who should have known better: Nick Lachey, Charisma Carpenter, Kerr Smith, Billy Zane, TJ Thyne, Oded Fehr, Sebastian Roche, Seamus Deaver, Jon Hamm, David Anders.

Two questions, friends. 1. Are you as astonished over some of those guest stars as I am? (JON HAMM???), and 2. Any suggestions for what show I should watch and have a lot of thoughts about next? 

K xx

Let go of my pumpkin

In the hopes of actually remembering more of what the hell I was talking about the better part of six months ago, I'm going to endeavour to do a Charmed post every week for the next month. YOU'RE WELCOME. Or not. Whichever.

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Anyway, here are my thoughts on Charmed season 5:

• AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, MERMAIDS. 
• "You must be Paige. You have a big underwater fanbase." What. 
• Oh my God. Phoebe's Cinderella dress is the opposite of classy. I can't even.
• MARK SHEPPARD. Is there any paranormal/sci-fi show this man isn't in?! 

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• ...........Paige just orbed in the middle of sex and her boyfriend didn't notice. I...what.
• EYEBALLS. WHY DID THERE HAVE TO BE EYEBALLS. 
• Ugh. Haven't they vanquished Barbas like three times already? WHY IS HE BACK??
• Ew, Cole. A demonic stripper who can shapeshift into Phoebe? GROSS. 
• Wow. This 100th episode is a LOT like the episode of Buffy where Cordelia wishes Buffy had never come to Sunnydale. 
• Okay, a creepy old man who walks into your room and delivers nightmares? NOPE.
• Ahahaha, Piper's watching Passions! 
• HARRY POTTER REFERENCES, YESSSSSSSSSSSS.
• Phoebe is wearing a snood. A SNOOD. 

SNOOD. Also, source.

• Right, because Piper would totally be wearing hipster jeans and a midriff top a week after giving birth. Okay, show. Whatever.
• ERIC DANE. HOW HAD I FORGOTTEN ABOUT ERIC DANE?! 
• Oh my God. Is that Pat Benatar??? IT IS. And a leprechaun just told her husband "I've already given you my best shot!". No. Just...no.
• Ahahahaha, Zachary Quinto is a warlord!! And he's getting attacked by millions of cats. AMAZING.

WHAT. Also, source.

• ........wood nymphs. Really?? And Susan May Pratt with blonde hair. I can't even.
• Oh my God, Paige's boyfriend is Darryl from The Walking Dead! 
• Okay, why is Paige doing charades when she could just WRITE THINGS DOWN??
• Paige, honey. Don't walk out of the bathroom at your new boyfriend's house fanning the air, even if you DID just orb in from vanquishing a stinky demon...

"Yeah, I'd stay out of there for a while..." Source.

• ..........Jason just gave Phoebe a Chinese-American dictionary. Did you know American is a language? BECAUSE APPARENTLY IT IS.
• Ahahahahaha, it's Pintel from Pirates of the Caribbean!
• Oh my God. The Alien Bounty Hunter from The X-Files is playing Chronos. Awesome.
• CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!! 

And more Phoebe snood. Source.

So apparently a lot of my thoughts had to do with guest stars this season. At least I was less baffled by the costume choices??? 

Do you get ridiculously excited over the guest stars of 15 year old TV shows?? Or is it just me?

K xx

TTT - Top Ten TV Shows

It's time to link up with the Broke and the Bookish again!

This week, just for something different, we're not talking about books at all. We're talking about our favourite movies or TV shows. And let's be honest - TV shows are far more fun to talk about because you don't have to pick something else to watch after two hours. You just move on to the next disc/season/whatever. WIN. 

1. Orange Is The New Black

A recent addition to my list. I've been hearing great things about it for the past couple of years, but never got around to watching it. I think I was hoping that it would air down here and save me the trouble of locating it, seeing as Netflix isn't a thing in Australia. But unfortunately it's only screening on Foxtel at this point, which I don't have. So I caved and tracked down a copy instead. And it is PHENOMENAL. Every single character is utterly incredible (except Larry, who's a douchebag), it's brilliantly written and brilliantly acted, and it's equal parts hilarious and moving. Not to mention being one of the most diverse shows on television. Basically? You should watch it.

2. Orphan Black

Same actress three times, yo.

Look, Tatiana Maslany is a freaking powerhouse, okay? She plays half a dozen completely unique characters, all with their own speech patterns and mannerisms and styles of movement. And sometimes, she even plays one of her characters impersonating another and you're able to tell that it's Rachel impersonating Sarah or Sarah impersonating Alison or Helena impersonating Sarah impersonating Beth. It's incredible. Plus, you know, great stories, great supporting cast, great writing. 

3. Veronica Mars

I wasn't so keen on the third season of VMars, partly because it ended on such a vague note, but the movie earlier this year made me fall in love with the show all over again. It's funny and sassy and heartbreaking and just really, really good. And yes, I ship LoVe like there's no tomorrow. 

4. Sleepy Hollow

Admittedly, there's only been one really short season of this so far. But I absolutely loved every second of it. I mean, the fact that basically only ONE of the half dozen major characters is a white guy is pretty incredible. It's fun and creepy and the acting is great. And there's so much attention to detail with historical accuracy - the way Ichabod stands, how he fights, what he wears, his terms of address is all historically accurate and it makes my inner historian so very happy. Plus, Orlando Jones is AMAZING at interacting with the fandom. 

5. Firefly

Yeah, yeah. I said recently that I was breaking up with Joss Whedon. Despite his problematic aspects, Whedon's shows are still massively entertaining. And Firefly, by merit of only having just over half a season worth of episodes, exists in its own little special bubble wherein Whedon didn't get too much time to do things that made me stabby. While it was a massive flop on TV thanks to Fox showing it totally out of order, it's now achieved cult status, and with good reason.

6. Fringe

I was a big fan of The X-Files back in my high school days, and this fabulous show fitted neatly into that hole. And it's an ideal show for marathoning - I really struggled to watch it on TV because there were so many wibbly wobbly timey wimey elements to keep track of from week to week, but when you marathon it, everything suddenly slips into place. The characters are amazing, there's more of that Tatiana Maslany playing-multiple-versions-of-the-one-character stuff going on for most of the cast, and it's surprisingly funny and moving for a show about supernatural weirdness and fringe science. 

7. Elementary

I've talked before about how I really didn't enjoy Sherlock and how I loved Elementary from the get-go, so it's probably no surprise that it's made this list. Despite it airing on TV here, I've been a bit forgetful of late and still haven't finished watching all of season 2. But Jonny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu (and the supporting cast) are so fantastic that I couldn't not include it in my top ten. Plus, the credits are fabulous.

8. Community

Yes, it wavered during its fourth season when Dan Harmon wasn't involved. But this show is just so much fun. Amazing characters, hilarious scripts, and far more feels-tastic moments than you'd expect from a comedy. And so many completely amazing themed episodes. 

9. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy and I have had a rough road recently, due largely to recapping every episode for Snark Squad and the crap that we dealt with in the comments. But I'm pretty sure that sometime in the relatively near future, I'll start to feel the urge to revisit some of my favourite episodes again. Because it's so much fun and there are so many incredible characters and storylines.

10. Doctor Who

This is at the bottom of the list because while I love it a lot, I've had a lot of issues with the way Steven Moffat's been running/writing the show over the past few years. There've only been a handful of episodes that I've enjoyed since David Tennant left, but I'm hopeful that Peter Capaldi and his ability to throw his weight around a bit more than Matt Smith could will help in the new season! 

So. What are your top ten TV shows??

K xx

Breaking up

If you've been around these parts for a while, you'd know that I have something of an obsession with all things Joss Whedon (except Dollhouse. Never Dollhouse...). BUT.

(And this is a big but. Not to be confused with MY big butt)

As a result of spending the past TWO YEARS blogging about Buffy and Angel over on Snark Squad, I'm a little bit exhausted thanks to all the crap that tends to accompany Whedon's shows. So Whedon and I? We're breaking up for a little while. At least until The Avengers: Age of Ultron comes out next year.

Here's why:


K xx

TTT - Book Covers I'd Frame As Pieces of Art

It's time to link up with the Broke and the Bookish again!

I'm not really one of those people who looks at a book cover and goes "Oh my God, that's stunning! I want to stare at it forever". Covers are an important part of selling the reader on a book, but they're not a massive selling point for me. Hell, some of my favourite books have truly hideous covers (any of the US editions of Terry Pratchett, for example), or indescribably boring covers (I've read a lot of classics from the blank-cover-name-on-the-spine-only section of publishing). So while I notice covers, they don't tend to stick with me. 

That said, there are a few covers that I'd love to have framed.

1. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - J.K. Rowling (15th anniversary edition)

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JUST LOOK AT THAT COVER. It's glorious. (And fine, technically it's only the cover for *Sorcerer's* Stone, but I REFUSE.)

2. The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien

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Look, there's a reason why Tolkien's maps and artwork are still used so frequently for the covers of his work: they're incredible and give an amazing sense of the world he created before you even open the book. And yes, I would frame the full cover wrap rather than just the front cover.

3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season 8): No Future for You - Brian K. Vaughan, Joss Whedon and Georges Jeanty

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Okay, so it's kind of cheating because it's a comic book. But whatever, this cover is all kinds of awesome. 

4. Cinder - Marissa Meyer

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I love this cover so much. Even before you get to the illustration, the lettering is gorgeous. 

5. The Mystery of Edwin Drood - Charles Dickens

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Also kind of cheating, because the covers for Penguin Classics are always actual pieces of art. But the painting that they chose for this cover is just so fitting for the story that I can't not include it on my list. (Crap image quality, but the actual painting is Tree Shadows in the Park Wall, Roundhay, Leeds (1872) by John Atkinson Grimshaw)

6. Sabriel - Garth Nix (2014 Allen & Unwin edition, due 1 September)

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Unsurprisingly, given that it was a fantasy book published in the mid-90s, the original cover for Sabriel was pretty freaking awful, and it kind of breaks my heart that it's the cover still used on a lot of e-book versions, because ugh. The covers that the trilogy got in 2003 were a hell of a lot better, but this cover? This cover is SPECTACULAR.

7. These Broken Stars - Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner

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Glorious. One of the few covers that's made me stop and just stare at it for a while because it's so pretty. 

8. Eleanor & Park - Rainbow Rowell

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So simple but so stunning.

9. Days of Blood and Starlight - Laini Taylor

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I love this cover so much more than the US editions and their faces in feathery masks. It doesn't say a whole lot about the story, but it sure is pretty! 

10. The Lollipop Shoes - Joanne Harris

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This was published in the US as The Girl With No Shadow, for some bizarre reason, and the cover for it there is pretty gross. This cover, on the other hand? I love this cover so much. It's absolutely perfect for the story. 

What covers would you frame?

K xx

Better alone

Do you ever come across these amazing female characters, and you absolutely love them? And they have a love interest, and you think they and the love interest are really cute together and you spend forever squeeing over them? And then they get together, and you squee like a lunatic. But as the relationship goes on, you realise something: deep down, you liked the character better when she was alone.

This has been happening to me a lot recently, and it's kind of an interesting phenomenon, because it's not one that I've ever run into with male characters, as far as I can recall (well, maybe with Dawson Leery, but that's because he's an awful human being who *deserves* to be alone...).

Anyway, I want to talk about some of the characters that I kind of think are better off alone. Because reasons.

Buffy Summers
It's not secret that rewatching Buffy for Snark Squad completely changed the way I felt about certain characters. Rewatching Angel for Snark Squad has made everything worse, because in season 5, we spend an awful lot of time watching Spike and Angel fight over which one of them gets Buffy. AND SHE'S NOT EVEN THERE. Her relationships with both of them were pretty fucked up, and her relationship with Riley was basically a season and a half of rebound. Even Buffy agrees at the end of season 7 that she's better off alone.

Katniss Everdeen
Much was made of the love triangle in The Hunger Games, but every time I read the books, I'm struck by how reluctant Katniss is to be involved with either Peeta or Gale. At the end of Mockingjay, she basically tells us that it took Peeta the better part of a decade to convince her that having kids was a good idea. Being a part of the Games forced her into faking a relationship with Peeta, which in turn led to Gale being all jealous and "I LOVED YOU FIRST"-y. Katniss is a hesitant participant from start to finish, and it almost seems like she ends up with Peeta just so that there's someone there in the night when she wakes up screaming.

Veronica Mars
Don't get me wrong, I adore Veronica and Logan. Piz can go jump in a lake for all I care. But I read the new Veronica Mars novel yesterday, and I thought it was really interesting that Rob Thomas chose to really limit the communication between Veronica and Logan throughout the course of the story. Yes, it's partly because he's deployed in God knows where. But when they DO communicate? The conversation is stilted and a little awkward. You can't undo nine years of separation in two weeks, so of COURSE it would be awkward between them. All of that aside, I found myself liking Book!Veronica more than I liked Couple-y!Veronica...

Natasha Romanoff
I love the IDEA of Clintasha so much it's not even funny. I squeed like a lunatic when I saw her arrow necklace. But do I want the MCU to be filled with a weepy Natasha by an injured Clint's bedside? Do I want them being all public-displays-of-affection-y before heading off on missions? Do I want a Clintasha wedding officiated by Tony Stark (who got a licence on the internet) in the ruins of whatever threat to the world they've just defeated? NOPE (except maybe that last one because it sounds kind of awesome...). I want her to stay her sassy BAMF-tastic, arse-kicking self. (Although if they want to include some anvils about #secretsexytimes, that would be fine)

Dana Scully
Much like with Clintasha, The X-Files dropped some pretty big anvils about #secretsexytimes between Mulder and Scully over the years. That said, when we did eventually get a canon relationship in the second X-Files movie, it was TERRIBLE. Much better to have Scully on her own with frequently dropped anvils than in a relationship that didn't live up to expectations.

Rory Gilmore
Rory, Rory, Rory. So incredibly smart. Such terrible taste in men... Dean turned out to be a complete douchenozzle with a side of extra-marital affair. And Logan Huntzberger was just awful from start to finish. Jess is clearly the best fit for her, but - much like Logan Echolls - he needs time away from her to deal with his problems and grow up. Thank God the show ended with her on her own, going off to take over the journalistic world.

Cristina Yang
Oof. Poor Cristina's had a rough road. Admittedly, I haven't watched the last season and a half of Grey's Anatomy - I kind of gave up a little after the plane crash, because Lexi was one of my favourites. But Cristina keeps getting paired with these characters who don't understand her or who want completely different things to her and can't see that she won't change her mind about them. And then when she's all "Um, no. You knew that before this even started...", they get all butthurt about it, and she's left to pick up the pieces of her life. Again... BLURGH.

Ellie Linton
I adored the Tomorrow, When the War Began books as a teenager. But Ellie, the gutsy incredible narrator of the series, is SO MUCH BETTER not in a relationship. She goes back to Lee time and time again, even though she hates the things that he does and the way it effects him. She has this awesome sibling relationship with Homer, and then the end of The Ellie Chronicles has a friend being all "You know Homer's in love with you, right?". Um. WHAT?!

Winifred Burkle
Oh my God. SO MUCH of Fred's character was destroyed by the writers making her the plaything at the centre of a love triangle between Gunn and Wesley. She deserved so much better than to wind up in a crappy relationship with either one of them. I don't think I'll ever be over how she was treated in seasons 4 and 5...

This doesn't mean that ALL strong female characters are better off alone - just look at Zoe Alleyne Washburne, or Rose Tyler. Pepper Potts or Willow Rosenberg (minus the Kennedy thing, because NOPE). Olivia Dunham, Elizabeth Bennet, Alexia Tarabotti, Elena Michaels, Piper Halliwell, Kate Daniels, Hermione Granger, Sydney Bristow. The list goes on and on.

Furthermore, this doesn't mean that the characters I've discussed above should be alone forever. It definitely doesn't mean that. What it DOES mean is that the writers aren't doing the characters justice. They pair them with unsuitable characters, turn their whole storyline into a relationship story, or have them fall apart where they previously would have stood up and fought. And it's infuriating...

Who would you add to this list? Are there any that you'd remove??

K xx

Movie Monday - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

It's no secret around these parts that Buffy is (was?? It's hard to tell post-Snark Squad) one of my favourite TV shows. But some of you may not know that Buffy actually started way back in 1992 with a truly so-bad-it's-a-little-bit-good movie. And yesterday morning, we watched it for Snarkathon (which you should totally join us for).

Reasons why Buffy the Vampire Slayer is awesome:
1. Kristy Swanson. Sure, she's no Sarah Michelle Gellar, but the sass is strong with this one.
2. Lefty's death scene. AMAZING.

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3. The training montage. Who doesn't love an inspirational training montage?!
4. Killing a fly with a thumbtack.
5. Paul Reubens. OMG.
6. All the "before they were famous" moments, including Hilary Swank, Ben Affleck, Ricki Lake, and Seth Green (although almost all his footage ended up on the cutting room floor).
7. Luke Perry. By far the best romantic choice Buffy's ever made.

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8. David Arquette. Hilarious.
9. The amazingly 90s costumes.
10. The prom dress-leather jacket-boxer's boots outfit that Buffy wears during the big fight at the school dance. (And apparently the guy she's kicking in the face is the only bit of Seth Green that we actually see)

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11. Rutger Hauer.
12. The principal issuing detention slips to the dead vampire students.
13. Donald Sutherland. He's paedo-tastic for the vast majority of this film, but it should not be forgotten that a critically acclaimed actor starred in something this bad.
14. The cheerleading uniforms. They feature CULOTTES.

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15. The scene on Pike's van. AMAZING.
16. The fact that Buffy gets cramps when vampires are nearby. Hilariously useless Slayer power.
17. The ridiculous "choosing a theme for the dance" scene.
18. It's Joss Whedon (or at least it's his idea. He left the project part way through because they weren't going the way he wanted them to)

Plus, the following quotes:
- "Pike's not a name, it's a fish."
- "Are you...calling me...a man?"
- "Dribble dribble, shoot shoot, get that ball through the hoop hoop!"
- "You bear the Mark of the Coven." "What, that big old hairy mole? Ew, I had that thing removed."
- "You're floating! Come on, man. Get away from here."
- "This is a naked place!!"
- "You ruined my new jacket! Kill him a lot."
- [after losing an arm] "We're immortal, we can do anything!" "Oh yeah? Clap."
- "You got a C-plus? I can't believe I cheated off of you." "Excuse me for not knowing about El Salvador, like I'm ever going to Spain anyway."
- "Okay people, they're psyching you out. Let's not be so defensive out there, Okay? Now what do we say on the court, repeat after me; I *am* a person, I have the right to the ball."
- "All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die."
- "Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That's just terrific. Thanks for telling me."
- "Get out of my facial!"

Have you seen it? What did you think?

K xx

On finishing something big

A rather momentous thing happened on Snark Squad this morning: we published our VERY. LAST. BUFFY RECAP.

It's been a long time coming - our first Buffy post went live on 1 July 2012, so there are children in the world that can walk and sort of talk now that were still foetuses when we started this adventure. But it started a couple of weeks before that with an email from Lor that said (among other things) "So. I'd like to work on a project with you for the Snark Squad if you have some free time in the upcoming weeks."

See the part where it says "weeks"? Yeah. There was a follow up email in which we discussed what style we were going to use, and Lor wrote "Episode by episode, LOL, no." We went in planning to recap three episodes per post. That plan lasted approximately two minutes, and we rapidly reached the point where we were writing somewhere between 3,000 and 5,000 words PER EPISODE. Multiply that by 144, and you're talking about far more words than were in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix...

It wasn't always an easy process. There were days when we had colds, work deadlines, assignments, and Real Life Trauma to deal with. There were days when we were on holidays and had to go out of our way to locate internet access in order to comment. There were days when the episodes were painful to watch and we procrastinated as much as possible over writing/commenting on posts.

And then there was the conflict that came from certain portions of our readership disagreeing with the way we saw the actions of various characters. I already commented on that in vlog form, but things got to the point where we were forced to block someone from commenting. It's not something we wanted to do, but it's something that unfortunately became necessary. It's had ongoing fallout, where we've been called petty and immature and no better than kindergarteners stamping our feet for attention. And all for not seeing a fictional character in the same way as someone else.

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At the end of the day, people are entitled to think whatever they want about fictional characters. Ship what you want, love who you want, hate who you want. But expecting others to see things exactly the way you do is ridiculous. Instead of name calling, engage in a discussion. Tell me why you love the character, why you see their actions in a different way, why you think a scene is brilliant that I thought was ridiculous. I might not come around to your point of view, but I'll respect it infinitely more if you Use Your Words and explain things in a rational way than if you just tell me that I'm wrong.

The way I see it, everyone's opinion is worthy of my time and respect, and everyone has a right to express their opinion, whether or not you agree with it. That includes Lor and Sweeney and I.


Luckily, the positives far outweighed the negatives. For the most part, this project was a phenomenal experience. I got to work with two of my favourite people on the planet. I got to rewatch what is still one of my favourite TV shows, even if the project caused me to see events in a different light. I got to interact with the most incredible community, many of whom I now consider friends.

It seems appropriate that on the day we published our last recap, Sarah Michelle Gellar did an Ask Me Anything on Reddit. A huge number of the questions she was asked were about Buffy, and it warms my heart to see that after all these years, she's still so passionate about the show and the role that she played and, indeed, the impact that the show had on HER life.

Whatever you think of the show or its characters, the fact remains that Buffy the Vampire Slayer had a huge impact on an entire generation, and that while the costumes and the make up may date, many of the concepts that the show deals with do not. This project moved Snark Squad into new territory. It took us a while and a few battles, but we found our Scooby Gang and have come out the other side smiling at the giant gaping hole before us with the knowledge that now we're free.

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So to any of you who've ever read or commented on a Buffy post, THANK YOU. We honestly couldn't have done it without you, and I cannot even begin to say how grateful I am to have been a part of this experience. Here, have a tackle hug:

K xx