Strictly Ballroom - the musical version

On Saturday afternoon, Mum and I went to the matinee performance of Strictly Ballroom, which finishes in Melbourne this week. And while I found it thoroughly enjoyable, I also...had a lot of thoughts about it.

1. The staging was AMAZING. 
The stage rotates, and the sets are all in pieces that can be moved and assembled as required. All the sets are also double-sided so that scenes can take place, for instance, inside the dance studio or looking through the windows, at Fran's house or out the front of the milk bar, on the dance floor or backstage.

Source

2. The costumes are glorious. 
A lot of them are basically copies of the costumes from the movie, but they're still great. Plus, there are so many on-stage costume changes that it's basically Eurovision. There are even some on-stage hair changes. Basically, everything about the costumes, hair and make up is great.

3. The choreography is great.
Obviously, they're restricted by the size of the stage, so some of the big dramatic moves from the movie have to be altered (like Scott spinning across the floor). But on the whole, the choreography was totally brilliant and far more individualised than musical choreography tends to be.

4. The music felt...disjointed.
Look, the music was such a huge part of the movie, and obviously they were never going to be able to get the rights to all the songs they used. And obviously, they needed to include original songs to progress the story. But the problem for me is that there wasn't a single choreographer. There wasn't even a single lyricist.

The original songs are split between about four main composers, with input from a range of others. Add in the fact that there are half a dozen songs that aren't original - including Time After Time and Love Is In the Air - and the whole thing just ended up feeling like there was nothing to tie it together.

There's a great quote from an episode of The Office where Darryl shushes Michael as the orchestra starts playing because "If we don’t listen to the overture, we won’t recognise the musical themes when they come back later." And I think that's part of the problem here. There really weren't any recurring musical themes.

5. The demand for new steps was weirdly turned into a Les Mis style protest-y song.
In the movie, the argument in favour of new steps is about 30 seconds of people chanting "new steps, new steps!" while dance newsletters spin on screen with sensationalist headlines, ending with Barry Fife saying "THERE WILL BE NO NEW STEPS". But in the musical, that somehow gets turned into two separate songs: one in which Barry has nightmares about people asking for new steps, and one in which the entire company wave placards and flags and Scott dances around encouraging them to protest. Basically, it was all a little strange.

6. Insufficient anger.
Don't get me wrong, Thomas Lacey was great in the role of Scott Hastings. But what shines through so strongly in the movie is Scott's anger. It's not just that he's bored of the steps, bored of doing what his mother and his dance teacher tell him. He's frustrated. He's angry. He's sick of other people dictating what he can do with his life. It's that anger and passion that makes that finale paso doble so perfect. And Paul Mercurio does that anger so brilliantly in the movie. But on stage - and it's totally understandable, because portraying that much anger consistently over two hours, eight times a week? NOPE - none of that really came through.

Source

7. Fernando Mira's solo was FLAWLESS.
It was never going to be easy to follow Antonio Vargas' fabulous turn as Fran's father, Rico, in the movie. And really, Rico feels like a much smaller part in the stage production. But the "pffff, that's not paso doble" solo from Fernando Mira was pretty damned incredible. It's not entirely surprising that he and Natalie Gamsu (who played Abuela) got the biggest round of applause during the curtain call.

8. I have mixed feelings about the audience participation elements.
Having the theatre divided into blocks of coloured seats and having the audience cheer for the performers wearing that colour in the "competitions" was a fun idea. And I loved the opening of act 2 in which a couple from the audience were pulled on stage to become part of the performance in Beautiful When You Dance, which was definitely one of the strongest songs.

But trying to recreate the ending of the movie, where the dance floor is flooded with spectators joining in the fun didn't entirely work for me. There ended up being maybe 50 audience members on stage, but many of them just swayed back and forth awkwardly, despite having rushed up on the stage. One little girl looked like she was about to cry. And then giving those audience members a curtain call was just...strange.

9. Mike Snell WAS Ken Railings.
He did an absolutely phenomenal job of playing a character who's sleazy and a total drunk but still incredibly funny and somehow likeable. If I hadn't known better, I would have sworn it was John Hannan, who played Ken in the film, up there.

10. I think I'd give it 7/10?
I know I sound like I'm being overly negative here. It really was a thoroughly enjoyable musical production. But. It's also not one where I left singing any of the songs, unlike when I saw Book of Mormon last year and spent the next three days with You And Me But Mostly Me stuck in my head. It's not one where I came out of the theatre and wanted to go straight to the box office for tickets to see it again, like I wanted to with Les Miserables last year (but didn't because tickets were $125). Instead, I came home and watched the movie. Which, strangely, does a better job of recurring musical themes...

So yeah. It was an enjoyable afternoon. But I can't help but think that it might be better if you had no prior exposure to the story and went in not expecting certain moments, certain pieces of music and certain characters portrayed in a particular way.

K xx

2014 - Year in Review

And so we come to New Year's Eve. Another year over, as John Lennon would say in one of the most depressing Christmas songs of ever. And I honestly have no idea what I've done with this year. Other than reading 275 books, that is.

It's been a pretty mixed year for me. Yes, I travelled and read and hung out with my niece. But I also spent a lot of time feeling useless and rudderless and getting absolutely nowhere with my quest to find a job in my field.

But let's focus on the good stuff, because even I don't want to think about the bad stuff. I went to England and Portugal and Canberra (one of these things is not like the others). I not only completed but coordinated (along with Emily) VEDA. I gave up on Vlogmas half way through because other things got in the way, but I coordinated that too.

I successfully completed NaNoWriMo, although I have yet to actually finish the novel I wrote 52,000 words of during November.

I got to spend a couple of weeks with my little brother, several days with my BFF Sara, and I got to meet Willie and hang out together in London. And yes, I will eventually get around to telling you about the rest of my trip.

I cemented some fabulous friendships with wonderful people that I've never met before.

We finally finished recapping Buffy and Angel over on Snark Squad. We started recapping Dawson's Creek and Doctor Who. And I convinced Anna to join me in recapping Supernatural, a thankless task that I'm regularly on the struggle bus with.

I learnt that Phantom Eye is a thing, and that Alice In Wonderland syndrome is oddly fascinating. And I survived without seeing any pictures of eyeballs with pencils/arrows/whatever hanging out of them, for which I am eternally grateful.

I saw Les Miserables and The Book of Mormon live on stage.

I finished (sort of) my 101 in 1001.

I joined Mediavengers (which I promise I'll write more content for in the new year).

I hung out with this dork a lot, and it was fabulous.

And I had a job, albeit part time, for the entire year when I was expecting it to only last for first term. Plus, I'll be back there next year, which was unexpected but pretty exciting.

So it wasn't the best year ever. But it still had plenty of highlights. Here's to a 2015 that features lots of fun and good times, at least a little bit of a travel, and the end to my job hunting woes.

Happy New Year, friends.

K xx

The idiot's guide to attending the theatre

As I said in my post yesterday, Nikki and I went to see Les Miserables over the weekend. And we had some incredibly fidgety people in front of us. Admittedly, we didn't say anything to them, so we're kind of to blame for how irritated we were by it all, but I still came out of the performance with a big list of things running through my head. And I figured that I'd put them in writing, so I can hand it out to people in the future*.

*I totally won't do that, but it would be pretty nifty.

So here, have a list of stuff:

1. Don't sing along. 
Seriously, this shouldn't even be something that needs to be on this list. And yet... People have paid (in Australia, at least) somewhere between $60 and $150 to see the professionals do their thing. It is not karaoke shower time. Stop. Singing. Along.

2. Put your phone away.
If you're waiting on an important call, then you probably shouldn't be at the theatre. If it's suuuuuuuuuuper important, put your phone screendown on your leg - ON SILENT - and let the usher know that you'll need to duck out at some point. Unless you're in the middle of a row. Then suck it up and deal with it at interval/when the show finishes. Do not, under any circumstances, check the time on your phone. You will blind the people in the surrounding five rows.

3. Seriously? You're trying to record this?
This happened at Les Mis, and my thought process was pretty much along these lines: "Are you actually serious? You're in the fourth back row of the grand circle. In the dark. Trying to film Javert's Suicide, which is a really dark scene. On your phone. Which is blinding everyone. AND attracting the usher's attention. Good work, girl. Good work."

4. Don't lean forward in your chair.
If you sit properly in your chair, everyone can see. If you lean forward? The person behind you gets annoyed because your head is blocking 75% of the stage. The person behind THEM is annoyed because the person in front of them is leaning from side to side trying to see the stage. And so on. You are creating a chain of perpetual annoyance. Sit like a grown up.

5. Don't eat things in noisy packets.
Yes, the snacks at the theatre require a second mortgage. But that doesn't mean you should smuggle in bags of THE NOISIEST VARIETY EVER. If you're going to smuggle stuff in, at least transfer it to a Tupperware first. What is this, amateur hour?!

6. Beware of taking selfies.
You WILL end up with total strangers looking awkward in the background of your photo. And that's the best possible scenario. Worst? Said total strangers decide to photobomb you.

7. Don't bob your head from side to side in time with the music. 
Congratulations, you have a decent sense of rhythm. Meanwhile, the person sitting behind you wants to punch you in the face for being an asshat.

8. Whisper, don't talk. 
This one is especially for the guy who was sitting next to me, who'd clearly never seen the show before. We all know the Thénardiers are hilarious. But you don't have to announce it every time they're on stage. And especially not at normal speaking volume. If you MUST say something, say it quietly.

9. Don't put your arms behind your head. 
You are not at home in your living room. Don't sit like you are. Going to the theatre is a lot like being on a three hour flight - keep your hands to yourself, don't hog the armrests, and be courteous of the people behind you. No one wants your head in their lap during dinner on a flight, and no one wants their entire view of the stage blocked by your arms.

10. Be careful of what you text. Half a dozen people behind you can read it.
Yes, OMG-I'm-so-hungover-right-now-and-I've-already-had-a-fight-with-Mum guy. I'm talking about you. We all know precisely how bored you were by the whole show and how much you'd had to drink the night before. Thanks.

And, as a special added bonus:

11. If you're going to wear a strapless maxi dress, make sure it doesn't match your skin tone.
When you're sitting down, everyone around you will think you're naked at first glance. And they will be terrified.

What would you add to this list?

K xx

Bloggy friend shenanigans

So Nikki came down from Sydney to stay for a few days, which explains my absence of late. She's about to leave Australia, so it seemed only appropriate that I insist upon her visiting me before she does so.

ANYWAY.

We did a bunch of stuff together, and I figured I'd tell you about it in no particular order:

• Played a LOT of Lego Hobbit on the XBox. Obviously, it involved accidentally killing each other a lot and generally being quite confused about what was happening.
• Went to the zoo. It was absolutely freezing, and the red panda was awake but lurking at the top of the highest tree in his enclosure, the jerk. BUT there weren't many people there, and the rest of the animals were in a far more obliging mood, no zoom lens necessary:

• Went down to Docklands to the Peruvian festival, which was being spruiked all over the newspaper. It turned out to be like five sad stalls at the side of the little theme park-y bit, which was rather disappointing, so we went out for lunch instead. 
• Made a vlog. When I manage to edit it from just under AN HOUR LONG to something people will actually watch, I'll let y'all know about it. 
• Went to see Les Miserables on stage. It was FANTASTIC, even though our seats were suuuuuuuuuuuuuper nosebleed-y and the people in front of us fidgeted for the entire three hours... I even enjoyed Bring Him Home, which is absolutely unheard of.
• Made a friend on the tram due to the following conversation:

Nikki: The ticket inspectors in Sydney are really aggressive. One of them once asked me "Why are you here?"Me: Maybe he was just being existential and wondering about the meaning of life?Random girl: *snorts with laughter* I'm so sorry. I'm not eavesdropping, but you guys are hilarious.Me: Don't sweat it. I once spent an entire bus trip messaging my friends about the fact that the girl opposite me was excited to see an IHOP because "OMG CHRISTIAN GREY!!!"Random girl: YOU HATE THAT BOOK TOO???????? Nikki: You have no idea. [insert 15 minute conversation about everything wrong with Fifty Shades of Grey here]

• Discovered that Kinder Surprise currently have a limited edition range of Marvel toys called Twistheads that require you to effectively remove the top of the toy's head, connect it to another toy, and then twist their bodies. It's as weird as it sounds, and they're all really creepy-looking. See?

Source

• Ate far too much. 
• Spent a lot of time on public transport. 
• Got to hang out for longer than anticipated because Melbourne decided that immense amounts of fog were necessary yesterday, and that resulted in Nikki's flight being cancelled. YAY!

So. That's what I did when I wasn't here. What's news with you guys?

K xx

Movie Monday - the musicals edition

Okay, so we've talked about my favourite soundtracks and my favourite scores already. So now let's finish the trilogy by talking about my favourite musicals! Typically in a musical, the songs advance the story in some way, sharing the inner feelings of the characters. A few of these don't quite fit that bill, but I'm counting them as musicals anyway because most of the music is sung by the characters. So...yeah.

Pitch Perfect

Come on, like you can pass up that big final number. I'm sure I'm not the only one counting the days until the sequel comes out.

Les Miserables

Sure, the movie version had its problems (*cough* Russell Crowe *cough*). And Bring Him Home is ALWAYS awful because it's way too high for anyone but Colm Wilkinson. But Do You Hear The People Sing? Was absolutely phenomenal.

Singin' in the Rain

If you don't love this movie and its amazingly ridiculous dance routines, I'm not sure we can be friends any more. Also, if someone could find me a pair of the shoes Debbie Reynolds is wearing in that video, that'd be great.

Mamma Mia

Okay, so Pierce Brosnan's singing should be banned for the sake of humanity. But this movie is just SO MUCH FUN. And Meryl Streep recorded the vocals for this in ONE TAKE. Which is pretty damned amazing.

Phantom of the Opera

One of these days, I'll get around to covering this one properly. But for now? It's a pretty spectacular adaptation of the stage show. And Gerard Butler is surprisingly great as the Phantom.

Rock of Ages

This movie falls firmly into so-bad-it's-secretly-good territory. It's utterly ridiculous, and I love it.

Hairspray

Fabulousness from start to finish, with amazing costumes to boot. (Please excuse the weird Portuguese voiceover at certain points during that video. It was the best I could find...)

Moulin Rouge

Sure, it ends in major ugly crying. But it's so stinking good OMG.

Grease

Okay, the flying car thing at the end is utterly ridiculous. As is the change-your-entire-personality-for-a-guy theme that it has going on. But damn, it's great.

High Society

I have an irrational soft spot for this musical version of The Philadelphia Story. I mean, how can you pass up Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and Grace Kelly being ridiculous?!

What are your favourite musicals?

K xx

Same same but different

Do you ever watch one version of a particular story and you absolutely adore it to the point where no other version can even quite compare because It's Just Not Right? Yeah, I experienced this again over the weekend when I watched The Philadelphia Story. Which isn't to say The Philadelphia Story is a bad movie - it's pretty great, in fact, and totally deserves the Oscars that it won.

BUT.

It's not High Society, which I fell in love with about 15 years ago. While The Philadelphia Story may feature Katherine Hepburn, Cary Grant, and James Stewart all being amazing, it doesn't feature Grace Kelly, Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra singing utterly ridiculous songs and dancing around like loons. So while we get this:

Source

We don't get this:

Source

Or Louis Armstrong playing the trumpet. Which is a shame, because he's awesome.

Admittedly, this is something that mostly occurs with adaptations of the classics, because they're the ones that get new movie/TV versions every year. But there are a few other adaptations that spring to mind here:

Pride and Prejudice

Source

Always the 1995 version. I have an irrational hatred of the Keira Knightley version, which may have something to do with Matthew Macfadyen (ugh) and that ridiculously awful foot fondling scene that was added to the American release to demonstrate that they actually did get married. In short, six hours of Colin Firth? YES. Two hours of Macfadyen? LOL NOPE. And don't even get me started on the 1940 version and its awful costumes. (The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, I should mention, is a close second to the 1995 version)

Vanity Fair

Source

I have an undying love for this incredibly silly story and its deeply flawed anti-heroine, Becky Sharp. But when it comes to film versions of it, the 1998 BBC version starring Natasha Little captures Becky's playfully sneaky nature much better than the 2004 movie starring Reese Witherspoon. Also, the music is excellent.

Sense and Sensibility

Source

The BBC miniseries from 2008 is pretty damned good. But it just can't compare to the 1995 movie, which has a lot more heart to it along with that delightfully ridiculous scene of Emma Thompson's hysterical sobbing. Plus, Hugh Laurie's eternal sassiness.

Psycho

Source

I can't believe anyone would actually prefer the 1998 version of Psycho. Because it was TERRIBLE. Man, what was it about 1998 and terrible remakes? The original, on the other hand, is an absolute classic for a reason: it's phenomenal.

Les Miserables

Source

Much like The Philadelphia Story/High Society, I will always take the version that includes singing and dancing. I know, taking Russell Crowe and his decidedly average singing over the brilliant acting of Geoffrey Rush seems like a total travesty, but the 1998 movie was JUST SO BORING without the songs.

Jane Eyre

Source

The first adaptation of Jane Eyre that I ever saw was the 1983 version starring Timothy Dalton that we had to watch in year 10 English. And it's terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrible. Partly because Zelah Clarke, who plays Jane, is like a foot shorter than Timothy Dalton, so every time they kissed it looked like he was breaking her neck. I saw the recent movie version (the Michael Fassbender one), and wasn't a huge fan of it - movies can never do the book justice in the way a mini-series can. But the 2006 BBC version with Ruth Wilson and Toby Stephens? Perfection.

The Italian Job

Source

This one is kind of a travesty, I know. But I actually prefer the 2003 version to the original. I don't quite know WHY, but there's just something about it that makes it fun. And the lack of an ambiguous ending is definitely a plus!

Needless to say, I am terrified about some of the adaptations that are slated for development in the next five years. Remaking The Birds? My Fair Lady? Police Academy? DIRTY DANCING?!?! WHY. WHY ARE THESE THINGS NECESSARY, HOLLYWOOD??

Do you have a preferred version of any of these? What else would you add to the list?

K xx

TTT - Books I Almost Put Down But Didn't

It's time to link up with the Broke and the Bookish again!

Today's topic was a little tricky for me, because I'm not really one to give up on books. In theory, this should have meant that it was easy - finding books that I really didn't want to keep reading - but I wanted to find a list that was balanced between books I ended up loving and books that I ended up really not enjoying. And finding the ones I ended up loving? That was complicated... (All images from Goodreads)

1. The Casual Vacancy - J.K. Rowling

I foresee this turning up on a lot of lists today. It was so massively different to reading Harry Potter that I struggled through the first hundred pages or so with very little idea of what was going on. Hell, I don't think I really got into the story until about half way through the book! Plus, there were just SO MANY CHARACTERS OMG. But I ended up really enjoying it, though I think ultimately it suffers from a deceptive blurb that gives you a totally different sense of the book.

2. The Selection - Kiera Cass

To be perfectly honest, I should have put this one down the second I discovered that the main character was named America Singer and that she had a talent for singing. Unfortunately, I kept reading and basically hated All The Things. The characters were boring, about a third of the book was dedicated to whether or not America would get chosen when it basically tells you in the blurb that she does, and it was pretty misogynistic at times (You're property now! Your caste position is determined by your father or husband! Prove that you're a virgin before we'll let you in! But don't say no to the prince if he wants sex, we'll throw you out on the streets!). It ended up being a total hate read despite how pretty the cover is. 

3. The Enemy - Charlie Higson

This, as it turns out, is a zombie book. Zombies make me indescribably squicky. As a result, this book gave me nightmares. The sitting-bolt-upright-in-bed-contemplate-going-to-sleep-with-your-parents-even-though-you're-thirty-one kind of nightmares. But I kept reading (during the day) and I ended up absolutely loving it, despite the zombie factor. 

4. Side Effects May Vary - Julie Murphy

Honestly? The only reason I finished this one was because it was an ARC and I felt obliged to actually finish it as a result. I hated Alice so much. So, so much. She manipulates and uses everyone around her. And Harvey is a total doormat who can never say no, even when he blatantly disagrees with Alice's decisions. From a psychological perspective, it's an interesting book - the idea that getting a second chance isn't always a good thing. But it was SUCH A TOUGH READ because I hated both the main characters...

5. Love and Leftovers - Sarah Tregay

I've talked about this one before - it's a novel that's written in verse. Poetry isn't my thing. There are too many metaphors and too much talking around the topic. Just say what you mean, dammit! So I nearly put this down the second I opened it. But Marcie's voice was so brilliantly crafted and it was such a fast story (given that most pages only had about 100 words on them) that I finished the whole thing in less than two hours.

6. Winter Be My Shield - Jo Spurrier

I bought this one as a Kindle deal of the day, and only the fact that I'd actually paid money for it got me to the end of the book. It dragged on FOREVER, was riddled with violence, and there was almost no world building. It was about 75% people wandering around in the snow and 25% action. It took me 11 days to read this 460 page book, and I usually average around 250-300 pages a day without a struggle.

7. Rose Under Fire - Elizabeth Wein

Much like its prequel, Code Name Verity, this book is brutal. Except in a lot of ways, I found it harder to read than Code Name Verity. There were, in fact, moments when I put it down because I couldn't cope with the brutality any more. I had to take a break for a couple of hours before I could stand the idea of picking it up and continuing. Most definitely a five star book for me, but so bloody hard to read.

8. Going Bovine - Libba Bray

I've read all of Libba Bray's books and, with the exception of this one, I've loved them all. But this one? I never cared about the characters, I never felt engaged with the story, and I had no motivation to keep reading it. I made it to the end, but I sort of wish I hadn't bothered because the story didn't get any better.

9. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

I've read this twice now, all 1,275 pages of it. And I've been on struggle street both times. Part of the problem is that I know the story from the stage show, so all the extra stuff made me all "Ugh, hurry up and get to the interesting bits, Hugo!!". Part of it, however, was that Victor Hugo loved him a tangent. There's 100 pages on the bishop's back story when his basic purpose in the story is to give Jean Valjean some candlesticks. There's a huge chunk on the history of the nunnery where Valjean and Cosette hide out. There's a history of Waterloo. There's like 40 pages about the Paris sewer system. Yes, it's ultimately a story about social justice, so it's not entirely surprising that he goes off on tangents about philosophy and history. I love this book and I love the story. But OH MY GOD, when you can go over 100 pages without encountering a single character that actually matters to the story? Yeah, this is one of the few times I'd actually encourage people to read the abridged version.

10. A Game of Thrones - George R.R. Martin

Oof. This one has the potential to be contentious, but I did NOT like this book. I didn't mind the first half of it, although Jaime pushing Bran out the window for seeing his incestuous sexytimes was pretty much a dealbreaker for me. But about half way through, I reached a point where no matter how much of it I read, I never seemed to make any progress and there was always 300 pages to go. By the end, I was utterly bored and the only character I even remotely cared about was Arya. 

Honestly, it doesn't really surprise me that I didn't like it. I have this problem a lot with epic fantasy books, where despite an entire new universe, everyone is white. Or where the first fifty pages are straight world building. Or where there's almost no world building, leaving the reader wondering what the hell is going on. Or where everyone has almost-but-not-quite-Medieval-English names. Or where length seems to be more important than pacing and plot. In short, I have a love-hate relationship with epic fantasy. And this one fell firmly on the why-didn't-I-put-this-down-500-pages-ago side of the equation.

What books did you almost put down?

K xx

A-Z bookish survey

Yes, it's time for another meme about books, this time stolen from Willie!!

Author you’ve read the most books from:
Definitely Terry Pratchett. Over 40 books and counting!

Best Sequel Ever:
'The Lost World' by Michael Crichton. Don't judge it by the movie version, which was complete and utter shit. Or 'Redwoodian' by Alysia Gray Painter, because OMG SQUEE.

Currently Reading:
'Magic Bites' by Ilona Andrews, and 'At Home' by Bill Bryson.

Drink of Choice While Reading:
Usually just water. Unless it's the middle of the afternoon, and then it's hot chocolate.

E-reader or Physical Book?
When I'm travelling, it's an e-reader because it means I can carry around a millionty books without paying a small fortune for excess baggage or breaking my back carrying them around. But otherwise, I prefer physical books. The e-book system that libraries use in Australia isn't compatible with Kindles, which means I need to buy any e-book that I want to read, so it's impractical to rely solely on my Kindle!

Fictional Character You Probably Would Have Actually Dated In High School:
Uhhhhhhhhhhhh. I honestly have no idea. Maybe Cricket from Stephanie Perkins' 'Lola and the Boy Next Door'??

Glad You Gave This Book A Chance:
'Beauty Queens' by Libba Bray. Ordinarily, I probably would have been put off by the cover. But it was for a class I took last year on YA, and I had to read a certain number of books off a long list of authors, one of whom was Libba Bray. I'm so glad I read it, because holy CRAP this book was hilarious.

Hidden Gem Book:
The Wilfair series by Alysia Gray Painter. These books are SO FREAKING ADORABLE AND SQUEE-WORTHY AND I MUST HAVE MORE OMG (Alysia, I know there's a pretty good chance that you're reading this. Please write faster. Kthxbai <3). Seriously, go and read them. They're only $1.99 for the Kindle editions, and they're a wee bit bonkers but completely fabulous.

Important Moment in your Reading Life:
Um... When my library removed the limit on the number of books you could borrow?? Either that or the point at which I got sick of having books read to me and just worked out that whole reading thing for myself. Four year old Kirsti got shit done, yo.

Just Finished:
'Wentworth Hall' by Abby Grahame. Don't waste your time, it was pretty awful.

Kinds of Books You Won’t Read:
Fifty Shades of Bullshit and all its little friends. Also, I tend to judge books by their covers, and if the cover features nothing but some dude's naked chest, the chances are pretty good that I'll immediately put it back on the shelf. It could be a Booker Prize winner, but if the front cover is a half naked dude or the most middle class white couple ever about to kiss (AHEM, Nicholas Sparks), then it's back on the shelf. Sorry not sorry.

Longest Book You’ve Read:
'Les Miserables', I would guess?

Major book hangover because of:
'The Book Thief' by Markus Zusak. SO MANY FEELS.

Number of Bookcases You Own:
Two, plus four shelves in a cupboard that are stacked at least two deep, and numerous books shoved in boxes under my bed. Plus my Kindle, which I guess is technically like a bookshelf unto itself?!

One Book You Have Read Multiple Times:
All of them ever?

Preferred Place To Read:
Anywhere and everywhere.

Quote that inspires you/gives you all the feels from a book you’ve read:
"I am no longer afraid of getting old. Indeed I can't believe I ever said anything so stupid. So childish. So offensive and arrogant. But mainly, so very, very stupid. I desperately want to grow old." - Elizabeth Wein, 'Code Name Verity'.

Reading Regret:
Definitely the Twilight books. I actually threw 'Breaking Dawn' across the room in anger at one point.

Series You Started And Need To Finish(all books are out in series):
The True Blood books. I've read them all except the last one, and I just want to read it so that they're out of my life. Because they've gotten progressively shittier, but I still need to know what happens in the end, you know???

Three of your All-Time Favorite Books:
‘Persuasion’ by Jane Austen
'Carpe Jugulum' by Terry Pratchett
'The Lollipop Shoes' by Joanne Harris

Unapologetic Fangirl For:
John Green, all things Harry Potter, Gail Carriger, Terry Pratchett.

Very Excited For This Release More Than All The Others:
Veronica Roth's 'Allegient', Rainbow Rowell's 'Fangirl', Stephanie Perkins' 'Isla and the Happily Ever After', and Alysia Gray Painter's 'Fairwil'.

Worst Bookish Habit:
Skim reading. Because I'm a fast reader anyway, I sometimes can't tell when I'm skim reading. So I'll turn the page and have absolutely no idea what a character is talking about because I skim read the previous passage and missed it. Whoops?

X Marks The Spot: Start at the top left of your shelf and pick the 27th book:
'Timeless' by Gail Carriger.

Your latest book purchase:
In physical form, it was Bill Bryson's 'At Home'. In e-book format? J. Meyers' 'Anywhere'.

ZZZ-snatcher book (last book that kept you up WAY late):
'The Cuckoo's Calling' by Robert Galbraith (*cough* J.K. Rowling *cough*)

So there you have it! What's your bookish A-Z?

K xx

Do you hear the bloggers sing?

Previously: it took me 16 hours of flying in middle seats to get from Orlando to Phoenix, and it was the uber-suck. On the plus side, Gina was there to meet me at the end of it.

My first day in Phoenix was a pretty quiet one, on account of having spent sixteen hours in planes/at airports the previous day. Instead, Gina and I hung out on the sofa watching the Food Network while her kids played and said hilarious things and were generally adorable. Gina introduced me to the wonders of Sandra Lee, and we both snorted with laughter at the facial expression of the woman who had to try Sandra's cocktail creation.

Other things that happened:

• I flipped my hair over the back of the sofa and straight into a burning candle. Which kind of defeated the point in Gina lighting the candles in the first place.
• Kid #1 telling jokes: "What do snakes eat for breakfast? MAC AND CHEESE!!" Me: "Well, who WOULDN'T want mac and cheese for breakfast?!"
• I fell in love with Gina's shower. Seriously, you guys. It's the best shower EVER. Made better by the fact that the shower at our hotel in Orlando barely did more than trickle in a pathetic way, even with the hot tap on full.
• Gina: "I kind of want to take you to Outback just because it would be funny".
• We watched the pilot of Firefly, and Gina's husband JD said "What??" a lot. 
• Me: "So I saw an episode of that show, Pawn Stars..." Gina: "WOW. That sounds SO much worse in an Australian accent..."
• Kid #3 wandered in with his blankie and his thumb in his mouth, changed the channel on the TV, hid the remote control, and looked at me all "What you gonna do about it? Huh?" and then ran away.
• I gave Gina a packet of Timtams, and over the course of the day, all three of her kids ran into the room, went "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" and then cried when told they were for grown ups. 
• We watched Paula Dean deep fry chicken and serve it in a giant scone/biscuit/thing with a pasta salad made with tinned mushrooms and a whole bottle of storebought Italian dressing. We both had the same grossed out expression by the end of it. 
• I spent a LOT of time going "Holy crap, this house is enormous". Because seriously. It is. 

The following day, we headed out to the Desert Botanical Gardens, where I promptly discovered that I'd left my wallet behind and had to be all "Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiina, can you pay for me to get iiiiiiiiiiiiin??". Pure class, that's me. Once inside the grounds, Kid #2 endeared himself to me forever by dancing around Gangnam Style style while singing the Indiana Jones theme music. Because why the hell not?! 

Anyway, the gardens were really cool and filled with sharp pointy things and educational opportunities. 

Four Seasons themed art - Spring

Summer

Autumn

Winter

After we ran out of cacti to look at, we headed over to the Hole in the Rock for a picnic lunch, a mosey around, and a look at the view. Oh, and on the way there, Kid #2 (who, I should mention, had held my hand about half the way around the Botanic Gardens of his own accord) piped up "Hey Mommy? Next time we go here, can your friend NOT come with us?", which caused me to giggle non-stop for about five minutes. But I digress. THE VIEW:

Once we'd all looked at the view and all three of the kids had looked at me like I was crazy for taking pictures of a plastic velociraptor (Yes. I forgot my wallet, but remembered Clever Girl...), we headed back down to the car and headed over to JD's office to drop the kids off. Because Gina and I had important places to be, yo. 

What important place would that be? A screening of Les Miserables. At 3.30 in the afternoon. With Eileen and M. And it was freaking AMAZING. Why? Because we were the only people in the theatre, so the following things happened:

• We gave each of the songs a letter grade as they happened
• We turned "Do You Hear the People Sing?" into a sing along. The best part is that it happened organically, much like in the film. Eileen started, then Gina joined in, then M and I jumped firmly on the bandwagon of "THIS IS A THING THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN", because obviously. 
• The added-in-so-it-could-be-nominated-for-the-Best-Music-Oscar song started, and I stood up and went "Well, time to pee because this song SUCKS". 
• Crying during Eddie Redmayne's performance of "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" was actively encouraged.
• We established that "Bring Him Home" is awful and should be pitched at least an octave lower than it is. 
• M informed us that she would like to lick Eddie Redmayne's freckles. 
• We gave Aaron Tveit's death scene a round of applause.
• It was quite possibly the greatest thing ever. Internet friends FTW.

And once we'd finished our private, snark-filled screening of Les Mis, we headed over to Outback because Eileen and M thought it would be equally hilarious to take the Australian to Outback. There was a hashtag and everything, because we're cool like that. 

I called bullshit on about 90% of the menu (apparently Alice Springs is known for its quesadillas. WHUT), and then when it came time to order and the waitress couldn't understand my accent, the other three started giggling. Which then progressed to full blown hysterics when I asked for American cheese (only because she listed them so quickly that I couldn't remember the other options). The poor waitress was horribly confused.  

Then I ate my burger with cutlery because it was enormous and I'm a fucking lady well brought up, and Gina lost her shit all over again:

Stolen shamelessly from Gina's blog

Several hours and one shared Chocolate Thunder from Down Under later, the evening came to an end. Albeit with plans to meet up the following night for Mexipalooza. 

Up next, Gina and I get up at stupid o'clock for a very special reason.

K xx

Best friends, Daleks and ridiculous keys

Previously: I got stuck in a toilet cubicle, went to a shit ton of boring classes, found the world's biggest fork, and ate too many cupcakes for my own good.

So we finished up the tour on Saturday evening. And I was up at stupid o'clock on Sunday morning, because my shuttle to the airport was picking me up between (and I quote from my booking slip) 6.59am and 7.14am. Thankfully it wasn't 6.59, because I was still shoving things into my suitcase and endeavouring to brush my teeth without getting toothpaste all down my shirt and saying goodbye to Agatha Goodkin.

Thankfully, I got downstairs in time to make my shuttle, and got to the airport without any problems. Check in took about five minutes, which made me wish I'd booked my shuttle for half an hour later, and I headed downstairs to clear security. That involved waiting in the queue for about ten minutes, and when I got to the front of the line, the guy checked my ID and scribbled all over my boarding pass, and then announced that I was about to clear security for the wrong section of the airport:
Me: Oh. Um. Okay???
TSA guy: Your plane is leaving from gate 24. You're clearing security for gates 28 through 36.
Me: Oh. So where do I...
TSA guy: Security for those gates is just down the other end of the terminal.
Me: Oh, okay! [turns to head down there]
TSA guy: Where are you going?!
Me: ...To the other security checkpoint?
TSA guy: But you can just go through here and take the shuttle.
Me: O...kay?
TSA guy: There's a shuttle right by gate 28.
Me: Um. Thanks?
TSA guy: I mean, you can go down to the other gate if you want.
Me: I can?
TSA guy: But the shuttle's, like, right here. So.......
Me: I'll just go through here, shall I?
TSA guy: Good choice. Have a nice flight!

So I eventually cleared security with a nice dose of added "WTF I'M SO CONFUSED". And then I took the shuttle across to where I was supposed to be. Aaaaaaaand then I had the better part of three hours to kill before my flight. Thankfully, Reagan has free wifi. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Unfortunately, there was a massive school group on my flight. Fortunately, the flight was only 2 hours long. And then I was in Orlando, where the airport was bizarrely filled with miniature gymnasts cartwheeling all over the place. The lovely Alice came and picked me up from the airport, and we headed to lunch at Graffiti Junktion, which Alice had informed me had fries that were so delicious "they must have been dipped in crack". I have to agree - the fries were amazing.

After we'd stuffed ourselves on deliciousness, we headed over to Team!friend's house, and from there to see Les Miserables. AGAIN, in my case. It was as brilliant as the first time, plus the movie theatre had lights that looked like Daleks were coming out of the walls. See??

After the movie, Alice drove me clear across town to my delightful $30 a night motel, with a stop along the way at Walgreens, where I spent ten minutes staring at the cold and flu tablets in a brain dead fashion, and bought a giant can of Pringles and a box of Junior Mints. Because of reasons. Don't judge me.

Upon checking into the motel, I was presented with a bizarre and perplexing device. Namely, this:

This was the key to my room, and it's like the love child of an electronic keycard and a World War II code breaking machine...

Anyway, Alice had to work the next day, so she left me to dope myself up on cold and flu tablets and eat chocolate. My BFF Sara and her friend Julia had arrived in Florida from London two days earlier, and had spent the day at Disneyworld. Sara had emailed me the day before to say that they were planning on staying at the park until closing, but after Alice left, I figured I'd drag out my computer and use the motel's free wifi to see if there was any word. Which was about the point where I discovered that the motel's free wifi only worked in the lobby. HOW CONVENIENT.

So I trekked down there and stood awkwardly in the corner because pretty much every other person staying at the motel was ALSO in the lobby using the internet at that particular moment. Thankfully, there was an email from Sara saying that they'd been too tired to stay at the park until closing and were back already. So I headed up to their room, and our reunion went pretty much like this:

And the rest of the evening passed in ridiculous television, catching up, eating Pringles, and exchanging rather belated Christmas presents. (Incidentally, I don't think I ever told you guys about my most brilliant Christmas present from Sara? THIS. Isn't it brilliant?! )

The following day, we had a buffet breakfast at a restaurant up the street from the motel and then hopped in the car for a two and a bit hour drive up to St. Augustine. On the way, we discovered that there is pretty much one radio station in the whole of the Orlando area, and that said radio station had about six songs to their name. One of which was Taylor Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble". Which got very old very quickly (and was sadly lacking in screaming goats)...

Anyway, it was Martin Luther King Jr. Day, so the admission cost at the fort was waived. It wasn't the most fascinating thing ever, but it was free, and it kept us occupied for a while. Plus, there were pretty views! 

We walked around the town for an hour or so, and ended up at what we deemed the most important thing on the map given to us by the tourist information centre - the fudge shop. As we'd not had lunch, Sara and Julia got ice creams, while I was so intrigued about the fact that a milkshake cost $7 that I had to order one. What goes in a $7 milkshake? Five scoops of chocolate ice cream, chocolate syrup, a glass of milk, and a terrifying amount of whipped cream. It was the most amazing milkshake of EVER. 

After a sugar revival, we piled back into the car and drove to another couple of attractions - namely the Fountain of Youth and the local lighthouse - but were too cheap to pay to go into them. So instead, we took photos from the outside and then drove the two and a bit hours back to Orlando. 

Next up, manatees, tacky souvenirs and a trip to a zoo that featured a ridiculous Australian section. 

K xx

No technical difficulties, just laziness

Once again, I AM still alive, despite the lack of blogging. I have so much stuff to tell you guys that I literally have no idea where to start. Plus, I don't want to tell you about all the Orlando and Phoenix stuff without telling you about the Washington stuff properly.

I fly out to LA - and, by extension, Melbourne - tomorrow afternoon, and I'm already dreading the whole having-to-write-three-major-assignments-before-semester-starts-in-a-month thing.

In the meantime? I'm hanging out with Gina. Yesterday, that involved a sing-along viewing of Les Miserables and a trip to the Outback Steakhouse. Obviously, I was suitably impressed by how authentically Australian it was:

Most flattering photo EVER.

I promise I'll hurry up and update you guys properly soon. For realsies.

K xx